Today, for the first time in my life, I simultaneously sneezed, peed and farted. I was giving a presentation at work when this happened. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and some new clients when I sensed that I was about to sneeze. I tried to hold it in, but ended up sneezing AND farting. FML
Today, I was giving a class presentation, when I suddenly sneezed so hard I wet myself. FML
Today, I sneezed and peed myself while working out at the gym. FML
Today, I was in a meeting when I felt a sneeze coming on. I tried to hold it in to avoid making a noise. Instead, I ended up sneeze-imploding so hard that I accidentally farted at the same time. The entire room went silent. FML
Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML
Today, after just waking up, I sneezed, which caused me to piss myself. FML
Today, I was giving a presentation in front of my class. Mid-speech, I felt a sudden urge to sneeze and tried to hold it in. Instead, I let out the most obnoxious, window-rattling sneeze imaginable, complete with a spray of snot, which landed on my notes. I think I traumatized my classmates for life. FML
Today, while giving a speech at work, I started sneezing. After what seemed to be the last sneeze, I went on talking. Apparently it wasn't, and I blew out my eardrum. FML
Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML
Today, I sneezed so hard at work that I farted. In the silence in our open space office that followed, my boss looked over, smiled, and said, "Bless you?" The people in the office who weren't wearing headphones burst out laughing, then those people noticed the laughter, took their headphones off, and my boss then had to explain to them why they were laughing. FML
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Top comments
Capt_Oblivious 10
Sparted
ViRepz 28
There has to be a term for that, like there is for sharted?
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Comments (91)
MissEmma_fml 22
It could have been worse, at least you didn't shit as well.
afragilesheep 12
You can now add the ability to multitask to your resume. Always a useful skill.
Whydoucare24 8
Are u pregnant???
kauaiian09 9
At least you didn't burp snart!!
Melix 31
Grown Ups 2 anyone?
trolled11 8
how the **** did that happen
pazuzus_intern 10
Eh you might be able to play this off... Was it like a little fart and trickle or did you just let loose?
Cindy_Smiles 12
things happens.. nobody's perfect.
Omniprism 15
How horrible. I hope it didn't show and you kept going.
jrock9093 18
Awesome