Work: Today, for the first time in my life, I simultaneously sneezed,...

By bglenney - 15/08/2013 09:47 - United States

Today, for the first time in my life, I simultaneously sneezed, peed and farted. I was giving a presentation at work when this happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 928

You deserved it 4 173

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Let it all out

By Anonymous - 25/03/2023 22:00 - Australia

Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and some new clients when I sensed that I was about to sneeze. I tried to hold it in, but ended up sneezing AND farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 828

You deserved it 139

By Anonymous - 01/02/2010 19:29 - United Kingdom

Today, I was giving a class presentation, when I suddenly sneezed so hard I wet myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 884

You deserved it 4 112

Go big or go home

By kinwar - 27/09/2021 07:01 - United States - Hamburg

Today, I sneezed and peed myself while working out at the gym. FML

I agree, your life sucks 900

You deserved it 120

AKA taking a screenshot

By Anonymous - 05/10/2020 11:02 - United States - White Plains

Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 095

You deserved it 381

Faulty plumbing

By Anonymous - 08/02/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, after just waking up, I sneezed, which caused me to piss myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 97

Say it, don't spray it

By Anonymous - 05/05/2024 00:00 - Australia

Today, I was giving a presentation in front of my class. Mid-speech, I felt a sudden urge to sneeze and tried to hold it in. Instead, I let out the most obnoxious, window-rattling sneeze imaginable, complete with a spray of snot, which landed on my notes. I think I traumatized my classmates for life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375

You deserved it 102

By SoSoRachel - 31/10/2012 21:03 - United States - Dunlap

Today, while giving a speech at work, I started sneezing. After what seemed to be the last sneeze, I went on talking. Apparently it wasn't, and I blew out my eardrum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 373

You deserved it 1 877

By Anonymous - 30/09/2013 16:22 - United States - Union

Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 356

You deserved it 8 109

How smelly is your piss?

By Anonymous - 08/04/2021 21:00 - Finland

Today, I peed myself in the dressing room after work when I sneezed. Someone else just walked in as I was trying to dry off my jeans with paper, and probably smelled that I had peed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 808

You deserved it 140

PTSD

By I have Flashbacks Now - 10/11/2016 21:15 - United States - Woonsocket

Today, while going to the mall, I witnessed the horror of someone sneezing and shitting themselves at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 404

You deserved it 910

Capt_Oblivious 10

Thursday 15 August 2013 15:55

Sparted

ViRepz 28

Thursday 15 August 2013 15:53

There has to be a term for that, like there is for sharted?

Comments

MissEmma_fml 22

Thursday 15 August 2013 17:06

It could have been worse, at least you didn't shit as well.

afragilesheep 12

Thursday 15 August 2013 17:17

You can now add the ability to multitask to your resume. Always a useful skill.

Whydoucare24 8

Thursday 15 August 2013 17:43

Are u pregnant???

kauaiian09 9

Thursday 15 August 2013 18:17

At least you didn't burp snart!!

Melix 31

Thursday 15 August 2013 18:20

Grown Ups 2 anyone?

trolled11 8

Thursday 15 August 2013 18:21

how the **** did that happen

pazuzus_intern 10

Thursday 15 August 2013 19:08

Eh you might be able to play this off... Was it like a little fart and trickle or did you just let loose?

Cindy_Smiles 12

Thursday 15 August 2013 19:10

things happens.. nobody's perfect.

Omniprism 14

Thursday 15 August 2013 19:20

How horrible. I hope it didn't show and you kept going.

jrock9093 18

Thursday 15 August 2013 19:32

Awesome

Keywords

Weird Miscellaneous Awkward Shopping My ex Racism Family Relatable Kids AITA Love Cheating Work Break-ups Animals Cats Cute Intimacy Sex Relationship advice Alcohol Coworkers Mental health Health Psychology Cops Neighbours Scary Stressed out Parents

The Top

Today, I went to a strip club for the first time ever and was about to enjoy a private dance when the stripper stepped onto my chair, between my legs, to climb up onto platform. Sexy. Unfortunately, she missed the chair and stood on my balls, full weight, without noticing. I didn't 'enjoy' anything after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 402

You deserved it 352

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years finally proposed to me at the park we first met in. As I was about to say yes, a huge fly flew straight into my mouth. I ruined the moment by choking on it and eventually spitting it out on him. I think he's rethinking the proposal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 653

You deserved it 4 934

The Top

Today, a wasp stung my nipple. Twice. The swelling makes it look like I'm growing a third breast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 787

You deserved it 4 300

Today, I saw a moth trapped in a spider web. Feeling gracious, I gently freed it, and then took it to the window to let it out. When I opened the window to set him free, my $300 air conditioner fell two stories and smashed on the sidewalk. The moth flew away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 765

You deserved it 36 391

Today, I went to a domestic violence counseling group. I was the only male there, and I explained that my girlfriend punches me in the face in front of my kids. Everyone started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 020

You deserved it 3 629

Today, after several years spent hung up on my ex, I was finally moving on. I was on a date with my new boyfriend when my ex walked past us. He broke down crying, got on his knees, and begged me to come back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 630

You deserved it 4 042

Today, my boyfriend diagnosed me with scoliosis. During doggystyle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 815

You deserved it 85

Today, I found out my boyfriend of 3 years has a 'Close Friends' restriction on his Instagram stories. I’m not included in that restriction. Upon asking about it during dinner, he knocked stuff off the table, told me to “stop worrying about petty shit so much,” and stormed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 092

You deserved it 166