Work: Today, for the first time in my life, I simultaneously sneezed,... - FML

By bglenney - 15/08/2013 09:47 - United States

Today, for the first time in my life, I simultaneously sneezed, peed and farted. I was giving a presentation at work when this happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 928

You deserved it 4 173

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Same thing different taste

Let it all out

By Anonymous - 25/03/2023 22:00 - Australia

Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and some new clients when I sensed that I was about to sneeze. I tried to hold it in, but ended up sneezing AND farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 139

By Anonymous - 01/02/2010 19:29 - United Kingdom

Today, I was giving a class presentation, when I suddenly sneezed so hard I wet myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 882

You deserved it 4 112

Go big or go home

By kinwar - 27/09/2021 07:01 - United States - Hamburg

Today, I sneezed and peed myself while working out at the gym. FML

I agree, your life sucks 899

You deserved it 120

AKA taking a screenshot

By Anonymous - 05/10/2020 11:02 - United States - White Plains

Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 095

You deserved it 381

Faulty plumbing

By Anonymous - 08/02/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, after just waking up, I sneezed, which caused me to piss myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 97

By SoSoRachel - 31/10/2012 21:03 - United States - Dunlap

Today, while giving a speech at work, I started sneezing. After what seemed to be the last sneeze, I went on talking. Apparently it wasn't, and I blew out my eardrum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 373

You deserved it 1 877

By Anonymous - 30/09/2013 16:22 - United States - Union

Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 356

You deserved it 8 109

How smelly is your piss?

By Anonymous - 08/04/2021 21:00 - Finland

Today, I peed myself in the dressing room after work when I sneezed. Someone else just walked in as I was trying to dry off my jeans with paper, and probably smelled that I had peed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 807

You deserved it 140

PTSD

By I have Flashbacks Now - 10/11/2016 21:15 - United States - Woonsocket

Today, while going to the mall, I witnessed the horror of someone sneezing and shitting themselves at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 404

You deserved it 910

Sneaky sneezy

By Worn Out - 11/11/2022 21:00 - United States

Today, I sneezed four times in succession. The problem is that I've never sneezed more than three times in a row in my life, so the fourth one came as such a shock to me that I accidentally banged my head on my desk when it occurred. FML

I agree, your life sucks 643

You deserved it 279

Next

Top comments

Capt_Oblivious 10

Thursday 15 August 2013 15:55

Sparted

ViRepz 28

Thursday 15 August 2013 15:53

There has to be a term for that, like there is for sharted?

Comments

Vagitarian1 10

Thursday 15 August 2013 22:44

Farpeezed

mulumequitem 6

Thursday 15 August 2013 22:54

It's astounding how are bodies can do so many things at once and all at the same time forcing us to bare embarrassment greater than if it were just one of those things. If you wish to avoid being made fun of, quit your job, move to Mexico. Start cooking meth with a 99.1% purity and sell it to the cartels and enjoy a nice 7 1/2 million dollar a year job.

horneyhic 15

Friday 16 August 2013 5:19

Only works if ur Walt Whitman

hollywoodt1ts 15

Thursday 15 August 2013 23:01

Time for you to invest in depends! Sucks for you, OP

zeuslovesyaoi 17

Thursday 15 August 2013 23:41

talk about multitasking..

goliatron 9

Thursday 15 August 2013 23:45

You should get a raise for that ability to multitask at work!

retroblonde97 8

Friday 16 August 2013 1:01

At least you got to show your colleagues how good at multitasking you are...

natywantspeace 7

Friday 16 August 2013 4:04

Oh M G

Cynical_1 26

Friday 16 August 2013 4:35

Look at the bright side...at least you didn't shit yourself.

itsmimi121 8

Friday 16 August 2013 4:57

the trifecta.nailed it.

Smalltownhog95 4

Friday 16 August 2013 5:14

Like from Grown Ups 2?! OMIGOSH.... Epic

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The Top

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Today, I found out that my toxic mother-in-law's retirement plans include moving in with us when she gets old. The death glares I’m getting from my wife right now are so worth the satisfaction I got from telling that evil old bat I’d burn the house down first before I let her move into it with us. FML

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The Top

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Today, while watching TV at my mother's house, a tornado warning came across the screen. After being in the dark, nasty basement for half an hour, my mom realized she was watching a recorded show, and that tornado warning was for 2 weeks ago. FML

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You deserved it 5 054

Today, while waiting in line at a store, a toddler behind me was throwing a major meltdown while his father yelled at him, giving me a migraine. I turned to the woman behind me and said, "Can you believe this kid? I feel sorry for his mother." Turns out the woman was his mother. FML

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You deserved it 46 616

Today, my three-year-old daughter rushed in, excited about her new baby brother or sister. She was so excited, I didn't have the heart to tell her men can't have babies, and I just have a beer gut. FML

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You deserved it 15 767

Today, my son got in trouble at school. The kids had to solve a problem by determining whether it was better for "Edna" to repair or replace her AC unit. He said Edna is an "old person's name" and she was "probably going to die soon anyway", so she shouldn't do either. FML

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