Today, for the first time in my life, I simultaneously sneezed, peed and farted. I was giving a presentation at work when this happened. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and some new clients when I sensed that I was about to sneeze. I tried to hold it in, but ended up sneezing AND farting. FML
Today, I was giving a class presentation, when I suddenly sneezed so hard I wet myself. FML
Today, I sneezed and peed myself while working out at the gym. FML
Today, I was in a meeting when I felt a sneeze coming on. I tried to hold it in to avoid making a noise. Instead, I ended up sneeze-imploding so hard that I accidentally farted at the same time. The entire room went silent. FML
Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML
Today, after just waking up, I sneezed, which caused me to piss myself. FML
Today, I was giving a presentation in front of my class. Mid-speech, I felt a sudden urge to sneeze and tried to hold it in. Instead, I let out the most obnoxious, window-rattling sneeze imaginable, complete with a spray of snot, which landed on my notes. I think I traumatized my classmates for life. FML
Today, while giving a speech at work, I started sneezing. After what seemed to be the last sneeze, I went on talking. Apparently it wasn't, and I blew out my eardrum. FML
Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML
Today, I sneezed so hard at work that I farted. In the silence in our open space office that followed, my boss looked over, smiled, and said, "Bless you?" The people in the office who weren't wearing headphones burst out laughing, then those people noticed the laughter, took their headphones off, and my boss then had to explain to them why they were laughing. FML
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Top comments
Capt_Oblivious 10
Sparted
ViRepz 28
There has to be a term for that, like there is for sharted?
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Comments (91)
thatnucca 36
Well damn! Did anyone applaud?
Jst4kicks 16
at least it makes for a funny story.... for your coworkers at least
gregnc_fml 18
Theres nothing like a humorous moment in a boring presentation to spice it up. I'm sure it will be a well remembered presentation!
NatalieOntheTram 11
That's talent right there! Clearly, you're a very gifted multi-tasker. Shouldn't your place of work appreciate that?
perdix 31
You should have asked for a raise. With that kind of talent, you will surely be in high demand.
EvilLittleMan 23
Now that right there boys and girls is what you call a Trifecta !
perdix 31
There's a woman in Vegas who takes in small audiences (maybe 10-12 people)and for the price of admission, shows off her squirting ability. Maybe you can be an opening act for her?
RedPillSucks 33
People pay to see this?
MissCharlotte_fml 26
Perdix, you know this why...?
graceinsheepwear 34
Squirters who are so inclined can absolutely make money with it. There is definitely a market. Check craigslist.
sematariux 7
That had to be decently impressive, OP.
VancouverGuy89 9
At least you didn't shit yourself at the same time
Neesalun 20
Lol! Been there. Done that.