Today, for once, I managed to get my boyfriend's mind off the hockey game. I muted the TV and cuddled up to him. Only thirty seconds into snuggling, he shoved me onto the floor and screamed, "GOAL!" FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my boyfriend was buying a new hockey stick; to test it out he started hitting a ball around the aisle and decided to shoot it back into its bin. Instead the ball hit me dead in the mouth, giving me a fat lip. Instead of consoling me, my boyfriend yelled "GOAL!" FML
Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend, he got up and said he needed to go home because he was tired and just wanted to relax and watch TV. That's what we were doing. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were watching TV, I asked him if he loved me. He turned up the volume. FML
Today, when I got home from work I was pretty "in the mood" so I put on some cute undies and a tank top and went to get my boyfriends attention, he was so into his new computer game all I got was a half smile and a pat on the head. FML
Today, despite knowing that I hate being the center of attention (and think that public proposals are stupid anyway), my boyfriend popped the question at a crowded hockey game. I threw up all over him, with thousands of people watching. FML
Today, after my boyfriend ignored me for hours playing video games, he gave me some attention for a little bit. When I tried to run my fingers through his hair, I missed and punched him in the face. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around when he accidentally elbowed me in the eye and I couldn't see. He rolled over, turned on the football game, and told me to just walk upstairs and get ice. He also added that he would like a coke while I am up there. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML
Today, i told my boyfriend that I wasn't feeling emotionally well, and wanted cuddles. He proceeded to hump my leg. FML
Today, I'm staying at my boyfriend's house and things were getting heated when he got a call from one of his mates wanting to play Counter Strike. Next thing I know, I'm laying in bed by myself listening to him rage. FML
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Top comments
Dearknon 4
YDI for ******* up a hockey game.
Selena_is_back 7
When it's boy time, it's time to leave them in their world...
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Comments (130)
Master_Of_Sand 0
Well, maybe if you were doing your job as getting sammiches for him while he was watching T.V., this wouldn't be a problem, now would it?
sourgirl101 29
Agh. Why'd you mod this? It would have proven Doc's theory on whiny women and sammich making comments.
Sirin_fml 47
Sorry, shame on me; I have a phobia against inane drunken dribbling, and to be fair, he was probably 10 years old anyway. I doubt we lost a philosophy major here.
sourgirl101 29
It's okay Sirin.(: Wow things sure seem different when you're around. Staying on top of the game I see! Nice to have you back cleaning house!
abcd1234569 0
My husband is obsessed with hockey but this season he sold his season tix to spend more time with me...now I never have any alone time.
RedPillSucks 33
Bwhahahahahahah!
joetan 16
you had a choice you know...
happycupcake 0
let's take a look at the other side, shall we? today, my needy girlfriend decided it was "snuggle time" while i was trying to watch a hockey game. for some reason, she thought it would be a good idea to mute the game and annoy me rather than waiting for a more appropriate time like before getting out of bed in the morning or after sex or any other time when i'm not in the middle of watching a game. in an effort to be a good boyfriend, i shut up and went along with it. then i jumped up to celebrate a goal and she bitched about it on the internet. fml op, how would you like it if he interrupted you while you were trying to watch something? your wording suggests that you try to pull him away from watching hockey often... it isn't on 24/7 and most people only follow one maybe two teams; why can't you just give him that time? i'm surprised he let you mute it in the first place but how could you expect him to ignore the game he was obviously into when it's still playing right in front of him? cuddling is nice and all but it's boring! you can't expect him to drop what he's doing so he can sit there and do nothing with you. try being a little more considerate next time.
innerexlet 0
that's actually a pretty good arguement
XxAubreyDrakexX 0
I is capital when your talking about yourself go back to 6th grade dumb ass.
rockyraccoon28 8
109, you used "your" in the wrong context. But nice try.
hosscat74 0
122&129 mega wins!!!
happycupcake 0
usually i would let this kind of thing go without a response but this is too funny. you're comment is filled with errors including a total lack of punctuation, yet you're criticizing my decision to not use capital letters! an intelligent person would look at my post, notice that my spelling, grammar, and punctuation are perfect (i shouldn't even need to point out that there are no capital letters whatsoever; i obviously didn't just forget the apply the rule to the personal pronoun.), and conclude that my lack of capitalization is a stylistic choice that is completely acceptable in a casual setting such as this. there is nothing capitalization does to clarify or add meaning to my words so i prefer to keep my letters the same size. i sincerely hope you will continue your education and maybe even learn some manners because the world does not need any more rude, angry, misinformed people than it has already.
kai_li 8
I applaud you. The app doesn't do auto caps. Normally I wouldn't care. However, my annoyance at the Grammar Gestapo keeps me from being lazy.
Prussia 10
Lesson learned: Never get between a man and his sports.
marinus_fml 20
OK, so your boyfriend wants to see the puck in the goal rather than the stick in the hole? Strange.
Hughmadd 0
Yeah, because any man who turns down sex is clearly "totally gay duuude!" for not thinking with his dick 24/7, and cuddling with your gf is sex, right? And number 34, I am a football (American) and soccer fan because it's strategic, exciting and gets my blood pumping with my fellow fans. It's not just "men playing with balls". Grow up.
fearfulsymmetry 1
THANK YOU! A man turning down sex does not automatically make him a "****." A man does not need to have sex 24/7 to prove his masculinity.
marinus_fml 20
Guys, seriously, do you not see i was trying to make a joke there. Geez, relax bro. Also, I have turned down sex throughout my whole life.
xboxsucks 0
I doubt it
marinus_fml 20
77, No one is telling you to believe me. No point to try and solve this over the Internet. If I told you that I promise I'm a virgin, you still have your right to believe what you want. But I know I'm telling the truth.
Selena_is_back 7
78, you're right.
twitch851 9
xbox rules end of conversation
TheTrollrCoaster 2
lol number 69 turns down sex
maphineRAWRS 10
^^ WIN :D
lol523 0
LOL @23
underpaid011 0
I don't understand the obsession with sports. personally watching men play with balls does nothing for me. next time he wants sex, give him a bottle of lube and a hockey puck with a hole drilled in it. then leave.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
It doesn't matter whether his hobby is sports, building model planes, or trying to invent a time machine. The point is that he ought to get personal time too, and she should stop clinging and let him enjoy it. And in my experience, the sex is much better when both people have their own lives and ways to relax, too. Withholding sex because he doesn't give her attention every moment she wants it is a bitch move.
savfd645 7
nicely put!!! lol
Zebidee 9
I couldn't agree more, Jane. Does #34 seriously think that there are things girls are into that a guy might not find fascinating? For every girl that can't understand sports, there's a guy that can't understand nail-polish or shoe shopping. Relationships have to be a balance between two individuals, or they will be very short-lived.
ohthebloodygore 16
83, shoe shopping? I'd choose sports over shopping any day.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Heh, otbg, I think Zeb chose that as an example to balance out the sexist "Me big macho football man!" stereotype. :]
Zebidee 9
LOL Gore! Jane's right, it was just an example. Personally, I'm not even that big into watching sports, but I do object to girlfriends who act as if the things I'm interested in aren't important. Lack of headspace and lack of respect are relationship killers.
79DrAwkwArD97 0
34 this isn't about an obsession with sports... This is about a woman trying to assert control over a guy during something he likes... It would be like a guy trying to force a woman to talk about sports while she's talking to her friends about wedding stuff... It is a losing battle both ways... Just let the person have their own time... Hockey games are a couple hours long 3-4 times a week... Usually a max of like 12 hours a week... Let's say he works 40 hours a week and sleeps 49 hours a week... That's 101 hours out of the 168 hours in a week... Which leaves you with 67 hours in the week to cuddle or find something else to do with him... Leave the man his enjoyment...
jopes 0
that's what you get for being annoying.
sublime420 11
Youre CANADIAN! You should know better!