Miscellaneous: Today, Father Christmas touched my ass in a shopping mall. I'm...

Loola 21 December 2008, 05:04 France

Today, Father Christmas touched my ass in a shopping mall. I'm a bit worried about what's going to happen on Christmas Day. FML

38 comments

Collection

Black Friday

70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.

Same thing different taste

Santa 12 December 2011, 21:45 Canada

Today, I was working at the mall as Santa, when a little girl took a shit in my lap. FML

224 comments

moopymoplady 29 November 2011, 00:44 Canada

Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML

145 comments

Anonymous 18 December 2012, 05:15 Toronto, Canada

Today, I accidentally knocked over a mall Santa on his way to meet some children. I've never had that many hate-filled eyes on me at once. FML

58 comments

childdreamkiller 8 December 2011, 17:41 Canada

Today, I took my daughter to see Santa at the mall. When I went to pick her up from Santa's lap, my watch snagged on his beard, pulling it off in front of my daughter and about twenty kids in line. My daughter still isn't speaking to me. FML

104 comments

perenoel 3 December 2011, 16:24 France

Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML

254 comments

evil Santa This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff Solon, United States

Tis the season…

Today, I was mugged by a guy in a Santa suit. FML

59 comments

I said whaat 18 December 2012, 16:50

Today, I was in the mall for the second day in a row with my 7-year-old brother. As we walked past Santa he asked me, "Why does Santa look different today"? Not thinking, I said, "Because each mall has a different Santa." FML

102 comments

tishihish 12 December 2011, 05:15 United States

Today, I walked into the Macy's bathroom to find Santa taking a dump with the door open. Merry Christmas. FML

90 comments

Anonymous 6 December 2011, 21:01 United States

Today, I took the 6 year old I'm babysitting to the mall to see Santa after weeks of her begging. We got there in time to see him get out of his Prius and dress in the parking lot. FML

181 comments

NorwegianMadman 22 December 2016, 11:55

Today, nearly Christmas, my dad got mad because I don't have enough money for holiday festivities. I can't afford things because I haven't gotten my paycheck yet. I work for my dad. FML

15 comments

nick17 0

5 June 2009, 05:20

He's gonna get u with his north pole LOL

domii_fml 0

18 July 2009, 23:02

you better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout i'm telling you why, santa is gonnna rape you, tonight.

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Comments (38)

MadeOfAwesome 1

23 August 2009, 08:44

Lmao  I love the way you worded this

soccerfreak009 0

27 August 2009, 06:14

well considering you called him "father christmas" i'm pretty sure you're too old to be preggos so dont sweat it :D

FHS_9th 0

2 November 2009, 02:46

You don't have to be old to call him "Father Christmas" It can be where the person was raised. You don't have to be so stereotypical. In France, maybe people don't call him Santa. It's probably normal to call him Father Christmas.