Today, during a date, I discovered that if I cough with my mouth closed, snot will spray from my nose all over the place like some kind of mucus cannon. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
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Today, I was on a date with a girl and everything was going great. As I took her back to her house and walked her to her door, I leaned in for a kiss. She seemed to really enjoy it, so I went for another but as I leaned in again, I sneezed uncontrollably, shooting her face with saliva and snot. FML
Today, after a great first date, he leaned in to kiss me. I held my breath slightly. This resulted in me breathing out through my nose, blowing a huge snot bubble, which then burst on his face. He looked at me in horror and walked away. FML
Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML
Today, while kissing my girlfriend's neck, I sneezed a blob of snot onto her. She told me that "it doesn't matter", while hiccuping a bit of vomit. FML
Today, after days of nasal congestion, I stifled a sneeze. It went out my nose, blowing out a massive spray of green gunk, streaked with blood. This happened at a meeting, splattering the table in front of me with green bloody mucus. The other attendees looked horrified and one ran to vomit. FML
Today, I was snuggling with my boyfriend on the couch. We ended up falling asleep, and when I woke up I felt a slobberly substance running down my face. It turns out, my boyfriend drooled so much, it filled my ear and overflowed onto my face. FML
Today, I was washing my face and I started rinsing the soap off my face with my eyes closed when I felt something gooey on my face. I opened my eyes to realize I had been rubbing snot on my face from when water got up my nose and apparently snot came down with it. FML
Today, I was making out with a guy I really like. Midway through, he stopped and said he had to sneeze. After waiting several seconds, he said the urge went away and we kept making out. Ten seconds later, he violently sneezed in my open mouth. FML
Today, I sneezed while at the office. I felt snot shoot out, but I couldn't see anything on the tissue. I ignored it and went on with my day. When I went to the bathroom hours later, I noticed a huge wad of snot had dried onto the front of my shirt. No one told me about it. FML
Today, at work, I was standing at the till helping an attractive man. I have a cold and could feel the snot bubbling up. He orders and we flirt for a bit. Just as I'm about to hand him his product, I sneeze quite loudly and forcefully all over his face. Guess I won't be getting that number. FML
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Top comments
CueTheMusic 22
That's snot very good!
Pleonasm 35
Sounds like a sure-Fire way to booger- I mean bugger up a good date.
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Comments (88)
Born2die 11
fire in the hole!
halieshea1105 1
Did you not think of the air that your coughing up needs to escape your body somehow? You deserved it.
spikekutter 9
you ahould have used a napkin
Lizzy500 16
When you go to kiss your hunny, and your nose is kinda runny, you may think it's funny, but it's snot
perdix 29
You also discovered a way to abruptly end a date without having to jump out restaurant bathroom windows. This is going in the Man Playbook!
shrdlu 28
Have you considered making a nightclub act out of this rare ability?
akiahara 14
Not quite the type of facial she was expecting.
logkitty 5
Snot rocket
Rob2342 9
Haha unfortunate.
drkrissy1331 12
You are supposed to cough into the bend of your elbow so u dont throw snot virus at everyone else if no tissue around. Know how far that shit travels an infects people!