Today, due to the dry weather, my nose became dry and began to bleed so I plugged it with toilet paper and went about my business. Forgetting about it, I later went out to smoke a cigarette. Not paying attention, I lit the toilet paper on fire as well. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I burned my nose. How? I tried sniffing a lit candle. FML
Today, I lit a cigarette in the opposite direction of the wind. My hair blew into it, and caught on fire. FML
Today, I lit a used tissue on fire in my room. Eventually, the fire became kinda of large (it was a big tissue) and when I blew it out, it fell on the carpet. Now I have a burn stain on it. FML
Today, I was in a rush, so I was removing my nail polish while using the toilet. Everything was going fine, until I used the toilet paper in my hand to wipe. It was covered in nail polish remover. It still burns. FML
Today, I was refilling my lighter. Afterwards, I gave it a test light. I must've spilled some fluid because my thumb caught on fire. FML
Today, I chuckled at a "No Smoking" sign as I lit my cigarette. I bent my head down to light it and somehow managed to light my hair on fire. FML
Today, I thought it was a good idea to go number two while smoking a "cigarette". My ash tray was over by the sink so I decided to just ash in the toilet. While ashing between my legs, I sneezed and now I have a extremely uncomfortable burn on my man member. Smoking is bad. FML
Today, while lighting a cigar, I set my beard on fire. FML
Today, I was smoking a cigarette in my backyard while my parents were out, because I'm not allowed to smoke. While smoking, my parents came home unexpectedly. In a rush, I flicked it over the fence, and it landed in my neighbor's hair. It was still lit. FML
Today, I was on my back porch having a cigarette. Not being all that awake yet, I threw the butt, still smoldering, on the ground. Did I remember that there was an ashtray right next to me? No. I did what I would do at work; I stamped it out. Barefoot. FML
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Top comments
TheRoyalBattler 5
That'll get you fired up!
taylor21398 14
I imagine your nose is really dry now OP.
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Comments (164)
Soundslikeothers 15
You should quit smoking, not because it's bad for your health because you're not very good at it.
sdroze1389 31
Lol I'm going to use that one for this girl who pretends to smoke because she wants to seem tough
Godsofdracos 15
Please tell us someone got that on video and put it on YouTube.
EternalTime 7
Now do you honestly think someone was there filming him smoking
kakakarotcake 17
That's why you switch to e cigs. All the stuff you like with out the fire and smelly clothes and breath.
Coeliacchic93 21
e cigs aren't that.great either. if you don't want the crap from smoking just don't. there are so many ways to get help to quit
kakakarotcake 17
and e cigs is one of the ways to quit. I rarely use it now
xerbrus 14
I'm a smoker and i can tell you withdrawal symptoms are all in the person's head if I'm out I'm out I just don't want to quit...It's an oral fixation
GuiLD15 7
Withdawl symptoms being in the person's mind is common knowledge.
sicksadworld1317 30
E cigs actually rock, and they are helping me quit. Nothing else has worked for me so far, and I really wish people would stop ragging on them before we end up with even more restrictions. The only thing wrong with them is that they've given people who feel the need to control others every move another thing to complain about. The only ingredient in e-liquid that non smokers don't ingest daily from eating and drinking is nicotine. There is no logical reason to have a problem with electronic cigarettes.
glabberfasted 16
Chemical dependencies and withdrawal from those dependencies are not "all in your head." It's literally the chemicals in your brain and body reacting and actually making you sick.
Nmaredia 4
How did you not see the tissue? Smh
1tsmenoah 20
I can't believe you just said smh on FML. This isn't twitter.
aecribb 14
I wasn't aware that you could usually see the inside of your own nose. You should get that checked out, because I don't think that's normal.
sdroze1389 31
did you panic and slap at the fire to extinguish it causing your nose to start bleeding again?
perdix 29
See?!?! I told you smoking was dangerous! It causes lung and mouth cancer, emphysema and now, nose fires! On the plus side, you won't have to trim your nose hairs for a few weeks :)
ken12345678910 5
._.
sdroze1389 31
good effort...
Rainhawk94 27
Stahp
nanxi 30
Ah yes, time to kick back and enjoy that burn of smoke in your nose... Wait.
invadermaythe1st 35
Ouch!
Nmaredia 4
@26 'smh' is definitely not a twitter thing...
Senseless_487 29
But reply is definitely an FML thing.
1tsmenoah 20
#35 It's definitely a twitter thing. Where have you been?