Today, due to the dry weather, my nose became dry and began to bleed so I plugged it with toilet paper and went about my business. Forgetting about it, I later went out to smoke a cigarette. Not paying attention, I lit the toilet paper on fire as well. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I burned my nose. How? I tried sniffing a lit candle. FML
Today, I lit a cigarette in the opposite direction of the wind. My hair blew into it, and caught on fire. FML
Today, I lit a used tissue on fire in my room. Eventually, the fire became kinda of large (it was a big tissue) and when I blew it out, it fell on the carpet. Now I have a burn stain on it. FML
Today, I was in a rush, so I was removing my nail polish while using the toilet. Everything was going fine, until I used the toilet paper in my hand to wipe. It was covered in nail polish remover. It still burns. FML
Today, I was refilling my lighter. Afterwards, I gave it a test light. I must've spilled some fluid because my thumb caught on fire. FML
Today, I chuckled at a "No Smoking" sign as I lit my cigarette. I bent my head down to light it and somehow managed to light my hair on fire. FML
Today, I thought it was a good idea to go number two while smoking a "cigarette". My ash tray was over by the sink so I decided to just ash in the toilet. While ashing between my legs, I sneezed and now I have a extremely uncomfortable burn on my man member. Smoking is bad. FML
Today, while lighting a cigar, I set my beard on fire. FML
Today, I was smoking a cigarette in my backyard while my parents were out, because I'm not allowed to smoke. While smoking, my parents came home unexpectedly. In a rush, I flicked it over the fence, and it landed in my neighbor's hair. It was still lit. FML
Today, I was on my back porch having a cigarette. Not being all that awake yet, I threw the butt, still smoldering, on the ground. Did I remember that there was an ashtray right next to me? No. I did what I would do at work; I stamped it out. Barefoot. FML
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Top comments
TheRoyalBattler 5
That'll get you fired up!
taylor21398 14
I imagine your nose is really dry now OP.
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Comments (164)
bobbyguy 17
Maybe it's sign that you should stop smoking!
RoseCrystal 17
That's one way to cauterize your nose hahaha!
middlenamefrank 8
Well, you knew smoking was going to kill you, you just didn't know how.
adriannawill23 13
YDI for smoking in the first place.
ABillOnFire 15
That's like someone dying of heart issues and saying "You deserve it for sometimes eating junk food"... don't be so judgemental
GuiLD15 7
That's really not the same at all.
MrRazzle 4
Congratulations! You just found another potention way for cigarettes to cause bodily harm!
StickyPickles 33
ydi for not looking in the shitter before tossing it. . for not flushing right away too if anything
jacoposki 14
wait, what? you may want to read the FML again.
weveallbeenthere 30
read FML first, comment after you form a sensible thought.
weveallbeenthere 30
see, smoking is dangerous.
KittenSandwich 9
Only you can prevent forest fires!
xerbrus 14
a nose forest? highly intriguing
MidnaLink 33
How fo you forget you've got something stuffed in you're nose?!
worldclassrager 39
A true ring of fire...