Today, due to the dry weather, my nose became dry and began to bleed so I plugged it with toilet paper and went about my business. Forgetting about it, I later went out to smoke a cigarette. Not paying attention, I lit the toilet paper on fire as well. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I burned my nose. How? I tried sniffing a lit candle. FML
Today, I lit a cigarette in the opposite direction of the wind. My hair blew into it, and caught on fire. FML
Today, I lit a used tissue on fire in my room. Eventually, the fire became kinda of large (it was a big tissue) and when I blew it out, it fell on the carpet. Now I have a burn stain on it. FML
Today, I was in a rush, so I was removing my nail polish while using the toilet. Everything was going fine, until I used the toilet paper in my hand to wipe. It was covered in nail polish remover. It still burns. FML
Today, I was refilling my lighter. Afterwards, I gave it a test light. I must've spilled some fluid because my thumb caught on fire. FML
Today, I chuckled at a "No Smoking" sign as I lit my cigarette. I bent my head down to light it and somehow managed to light my hair on fire. FML
Today, I thought it was a good idea to go number two while smoking a "cigarette". My ash tray was over by the sink so I decided to just ash in the toilet. While ashing between my legs, I sneezed and now I have a extremely uncomfortable burn on my man member. Smoking is bad. FML
Today, while lighting a cigar, I set my beard on fire. FML
Today, I was smoking a cigarette in my backyard while my parents were out, because I'm not allowed to smoke. While smoking, my parents came home unexpectedly. In a rush, I flicked it over the fence, and it landed in my neighbor's hair. It was still lit. FML
Today, I was on my back porch having a cigarette. Not being all that awake yet, I threw the butt, still smoldering, on the ground. Did I remember that there was an ashtray right next to me? No. I did what I would do at work; I stamped it out. Barefoot. FML
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Top comments
TheRoyalBattler 5
That'll get you fired up!
taylor21398 14
I imagine your nose is really dry now OP.
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Comments (164)
CrazyMelvin 14
Karma,,,,,
arandomusernameaa 20
For what, smoking? Stop being such a judgemental twat and let people make there own decisions....
sdroze1389 31
Lol I knew the second I saw this fml that there would be at least twenty people preaching the health values of not smoking and ignore the fact that some idiot stuffed a fuse in his nose and lit his head on fire.
sdroze1389 31
that's a lot of commas btw lol I'm assuming they were supposed to be periods
well_hi_there 7
that sucks
DotDootyDot 17
Best thing to do when you have a nose bleed is to lower your head and pinch your nose for a few minutes.
Psufans 7
that should get u to quit
sdroze1389 31
yes a burnt nostril is much more deterring than increased probability of cancer.
xMnky 8
YDI it for smoking.
arandomusernameaa 20
Stop being so judgemental.
sdroze1389 31
you don't need to add "it" after YDI.
Axipiter 24
79, it's not judgemental when we all have to breathe the same air.
sdroze1389 31
#121. it's the same toxin that spews out of cars. I don't drive but I won't judge you for doing it.
Axipiter 24
I don't drive either.
OfficialJSmooth1 6
Well at least no one will have to tell you that smoking is bad for you!
sammieshortcake 15
Holy flaming toilet paper, Batman!
Wildghost123 13
don't smoke kids
Comoke1024 19
You should go to schools. Kids need to hear the dangers of smoking and having flammable snot.
Credibleskills 28
Ehh, I mean you 'kinda' deserved that one to be honest.