Today, due to the dry weather, my nose became dry and began to bleed so I plugged it with toilet paper and went about my business. Forgetting about it, I later went out to smoke a cigarette. Not paying attention, I lit the toilet paper on fire as well. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I burned my nose. How? I tried sniffing a lit candle. FML
Today, I lit a cigarette in the opposite direction of the wind. My hair blew into it, and caught on fire. FML
Today, I lit a used tissue on fire in my room. Eventually, the fire became kinda of large (it was a big tissue) and when I blew it out, it fell on the carpet. Now I have a burn stain on it. FML
Today, I was in a rush, so I was removing my nail polish while using the toilet. Everything was going fine, until I used the toilet paper in my hand to wipe. It was covered in nail polish remover. It still burns. FML
Today, I was refilling my lighter. Afterwards, I gave it a test light. I must've spilled some fluid because my thumb caught on fire. FML
Today, I chuckled at a "No Smoking" sign as I lit my cigarette. I bent my head down to light it and somehow managed to light my hair on fire. FML
Today, I thought it was a good idea to go number two while smoking a "cigarette". My ash tray was over by the sink so I decided to just ash in the toilet. While ashing between my legs, I sneezed and now I have a extremely uncomfortable burn on my man member. Smoking is bad. FML
Today, while lighting a cigar, I set my beard on fire. FML
Today, I was smoking a cigarette in my backyard while my parents were out, because I'm not allowed to smoke. While smoking, my parents came home unexpectedly. In a rush, I flicked it over the fence, and it landed in my neighbor's hair. It was still lit. FML
Today, I was on my back porch having a cigarette. Not being all that awake yet, I threw the butt, still smoldering, on the ground. Did I remember that there was an ashtray right next to me? No. I did what I would do at work; I stamped it out. Barefoot. FML
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Top comments
TheRoyalBattler 5
That'll get you fired up!
taylor21398 14
I imagine your nose is really dry now OP.
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Comments (164)
Rcmpbell 6
Cigarettes will kill ya
Axipiter 24
Is the tip of your nose gone now? And have you been telling everyone a Saigon ***** bit it off?
johndear707 4
Is your noise dry now
BrownSuspenders 4
how the hell do you light a cigarette where the flame goes up your nose? you need a new life.
ZY1431 24
and this is another reason why I quit smoking lol
awilliams44 9
I hope you noticed before any damage happened
SupremeLeader00 9
Nose bleeds are a bitch. I get them all the time
nmartinez2018 10
Smooth
creamofwheat 4
I'm still trying to understand the physics at work here. OP writes, in reference to (what I'm assuming is) the act of lighting up: "Not paying attention, I lit the toilet paper on fire as well." So far, I have been able to come up with two possible inferences, a) this is one really short cigarette, or b) OP lights up the wrong end.
WelcomeToNoWhere 2
that's all you could come up with #143? all one needs to pull this off is a cigarette smaller then a 100, to tilt your head forward enough; which happens when one looks down towards his lighter to light instead of pulling it up towards his cig all the way and a new(ish) lighter because when you first buy them the flame is big