Today, due to the cold, windy weather, I decided to wear my brand-new cute (and expensive) jacket that has a faux-fur hood. As I walked down the street, numerous PETA members attacked me with red liquid. I'm a Vegan and an animal-rights activist. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a date with a great vegan guy in my class. We went to a vegi-restaurant, I dutifully ate all the meatless dishes, but he seemed pissed about something, and other diners kept giving me angry looks. After we left, I realised I'd worn my leather jacket to the date. FML
Today, as I was walking my dog, some self-righteous animal activist berated me on how it was animal abuse to put my dog on a leash. Despite warning her, she crouched down to undo it, my dog charged at her, giving her a gash on the cheek. She kicked my dog for it, and is now threatening to sue me. FML
Today, I realized I've become a stereotypical militant vegan when I told a friend that we should start raising Lone Star ticks and dropping them around town so we could spread meat allergies and force people to eat vegan. FML
Today, I was protesting for animal rights. On my way home, I accidentally hit a pig with my car. I freaked out and got out to check to see if it was OK. It knocked me over, spraining my wrist, and it pissed all over my pants. FML
Today, I was lectured by a self-professed vegan over my "barbaric" eating habits, in between her scarfing down a tuna fish sandwich. FML
Today, my roommate decided to go vegan after watching a PETA video. She began this new-found lifestyle by throwing out all of the non-vegan items in the house, including some prime rib we had recently purchased, all of our ice cream, and my chocolate stash. FML
Today, I bought a jacket with real fur on it. Turns out, i'm allergic and now my ears look like they have herpes on them. FML
Today, my mom called me to the laundry room after she saw a dead animal in there. I took a look and agreed we should call animal control. After ten minutes of freaking out, they finally arrived to confirm that the dead animal was the hood to my winter jacket. FML
Today, I was called ugly and viciously ridiculed by a couple of teenage girls. They were wearing uggs and vests that made them look like a freak-show of bleached pomeranians. FML
Today, my boss was hosting some client representatives for a meeting and had offered to buy everyone lunch. The "healthy" place he's ordering from made me sick last time, so I'd politely opted out. At lunch, the reps glared at me in the meeting room as I ate my homemade chili con carne. Turns out they're all vegans. FML
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Top comments
KeithHarris 0
Serves you right for wearing fake animals. Next time wear the real thing so you'll at least deserve getting pelted with fake animal blood. :-D PETA members are dicks.
michellaneous 0
whats with the red liquids lately? well, PETA is a bit extreme, but they shouldn't be going around bombarding people with red liquids!
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Comments (510)
PsychoticAsylum 26
Am I the only one who ever saw the contest PETA had that had a faux fur jacket and a faux leather bag as a prize?
Rainbow101365 5
all these people saying "why are you wearing fake fur if youre against the real thing? it looks like you killed an animal to make it" what about the fact they throw fake animal blood on people... its made to represent real animal blood that came from a dead animal.... its the same thing...
ZeroIce 12
Dude, PETA is against Mario for turning into a raccoon. Dpn't take it to personal.
MeganCello 8
Aren't humans technically animals too? So they just abused an animal. Dumbasses.
strawberryspacejam 11
FUR IS MURDER!!!!! omygaudzzz ur such a animal abyoozer u basterd u must die
DJP0N3 0
Vegans are gay
listofrandom 13
That's a dick movie. I'd make them by me a new coat. They don't have any right to destroy something that someone bought, it's not there lives. Faux fur is being really popular because it mimics the real thing. I'm an animal right's activist and I think they're full of bullshit
TheCamoWulf 17
Despite my love for animals and animal rights, PETA is an annoying group of hypocrites. Things can be changed without resorting to extreme public protest such as this. But OP, you were indadvertedly supporting the cause you hate by wearing fake fur, so YDI.
Jazzyw1997 12
PETA are failures, we are the dominant species so we can do hat we want to any species other than are own. I would like to see a PETA member play Spore, a game about being the dominant species by killing the rest.
Shaneisabeast 0
When will people (mainly peta) het that animals r not people, amd that should shoild not have the same rights as us, as cruel as it sounds, its true