Love and Transportation: Today, despite the carriage being entirely empty, a large man...

By just socially awkward - 16/11/2018 12:00

Today, despite the carriage being entirely empty, a large man chose to sit right beside me on the train. After making me uncomfortable with personal questions, he asked if we could be friends and hang out, both of which I shyly declined. He then accused me of being a racist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 021

You deserved it 193

Love Transportation

Empathy lives

The wrong end of the stick

My booze

By damnnn - 17/07/2015 12:40 - Australia

Today, I was standing on a step ladder to reach the batteries on top of my fridge so I could change the ones in my TV remote. My sister thought it would be funny to shake the ladder and see what would happen. I now have a broken leg and a TV remote with dead batteries in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 787

You deserved it 2 016

Get back here!

By anythingjean - 25/05/2009 21:46 - Canada

Today, I saw a cute guy on the bus. I smiled at him and he smiled back. After a couple of stops, he got off the bus. He bumped into me, turned around, apologized, and winked. I stood there feeling good about myself. Then I realized he stole my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 611

You deserved it 9 718

By scaredinnyc - 14/11/2012 01:03 - United States - Trenton

Today, I was looking at tattoos and fell in love with a really cool looking one, so I decided to get it. I later showed it to a friend who is a cop. He informed me that it is a gang tattoo. I think I just put a target on my ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 960

You deserved it 31 293

By hatemylifelol - 08/01/2016 20:33 - United States - Roseville

Today, I noticed I parked behind a boy I like. Trying to impress him with my driving skills, I ended up forgetting to put the car in reverse and rear-ended him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 199

You deserved it 20 758

By littledipper - 25/09/2013 03:51 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I found out that the nice guy who comes to my workplace every morning to bring me a smoothie also makes a point of putting his knob in it before giving it to me. Also, all my coworkers knew about this and think it's hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 935

You deserved it 4 612

By insensitive prick - 19/08/2013 19:04 - United States - Tinley Park

Today, I was at a "bring your family to work" event. I noticed my coworker brought his kids but not his wife, so I asked, "No wife today?" Everyone glared at me and he pointedly replied that she's married to someone else now. I had no idea. Now everyone thinks I'm an insensitive prick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 163

You deserved it 8 867

This Charming Man

By single mom blues - 08/08/2021 00:01

Today, my dad told me I needed to "hurry up and find someone to marry" so my kids wouldn't end up "screwed up" from being raised by a single mom. Their dad died six months ago from Covid. Yes, he knows this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 264

You deserved it 55

The Conquest of Bread

By Anonymous - 26/04/2021 11:00 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around, tickling each other. He grabbed my stomach roll and told me it looked like a baguette. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 234

By sammyducks227 - 08/11/2013 07:49 - United States - Saint Charles

Today, I've invited friends and family to my birthday party. I've also come home to find that my parents didn't pay the water bill. I either have to tell everyone I know that they are uninvited or not to take dumps in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 517

You deserved it 3 680

Coming or going

By almost governmental - 05/09/2014 22:02 - United Kingdom - Peterborough

Today, I got a call about a job interview, saying I was hired. I was ecstatic, until they called me back and said they'd called the wrong applicant. They called again later, saying there'd been a mistake and I really was hired. When I went in to confirm it, they said they'd never heard of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 454

You deserved it 3 065

By Anonymous - 26/03/2011 06:24 - United States

Today, I was sitting in Walmart and I saw an attractive woman walking by. Being the single guy I am, I went up to her and asked if she needed help with carrying her groceries. She responded with "You know I'm a guy right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 802

You deserved it 17 327

The customer is always something

By YEEYEE517 - 03/09/2019 22:00

Today, working in retail, I noticed a customer looking for an item, so I walked up to them and asked, "Is there something I can help you find?" He replied, "Did I ask for your fucking help?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 747

You deserved it 163

By Anonymous - 21/08/2014 15:37 - United States

Today, I talked to a girl I like. I tried to make her jealous by telling her I had a "thing" going with another girl. She looked deeply into my eyes and said, "Wait, aren't you gay?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 133

You deserved it 17 786

By kylie - 15/11/2010 21:17 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were in my backyard goofing around when he tried to pick me up. He couldn't. I jokingly tried to lift him. I did so without much effort. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 419

You deserved it 7 187

Good question

By only child says fuck you mom - 10/04/2016 14:56 - United States - Holly Springs

Today, I overheard my mom talking to a friend on the phone. What caught my attention was when she said, "You ever look at your kid and just think... 'Fuck. Where'd I go wrong?'" FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 711

You deserved it 2 430

By Anonymous - 22/10/2018 13:30

Today, my manager told my shift that if we didn't have the quota filled for cinnamon rolls by tonight, we were all out of a job. One of the machines we use to wrap cinnamon rolls just started acting up. We also aren't allowed to take over time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 822

You deserved it 154

By fml - 13/11/2013 17:30 - United Kingdom - Haslemere

Today, while shopping for clothes, I asked the assistant to recommend something for me. She took me to the maternity section. Thanks, but I'm not pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 227

You deserved it 7 741

By savioyr - 15/08/2018 15:00

Today, my business partners of 5 years asked me right after our 5-hour audit with the tax department, "Oh, we have to pay tax?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 850

You deserved it 361

By Anonymous - 13/04/2012 21:10 - United States - York

Today, I picked up my daughter from preschool. Her teacher handed me her nap blankets and mentioned there was an extra article of clothing I might want to take home. I looked in-between the blankets and saw a pair of my giant granny panties that had gotten mixed in with her stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 753

You deserved it 4 676

By fatgirl - 16/05/2010 04:08 - United States

Today, I was eating pizza with my boyfriend and my friends. I was laughing and talking and went for another piece when my boyfriend grabbed my wrist and said that I had had enough. My friends all backed him up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 900

You deserved it 10 683

By MJ3105 - 07/05/2009 11:36 - Israel

Today, I was eating at a restaurant patio with a few friends. After the waitress cleaned up our table there was a drop of mayonnaise on the table. I wiped it with my finger and licked it. It wasn’t mayo, it was bird shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 144

You deserved it 152 832

By ali - 03/07/2012 11:51 - United States - Livingston

Today, I was having an argument with my girlfriend in front of our friends. I didn't want her to spoil my good time, so I ignored her until she disappeared. She re-appeared thirty minutes later just to throw a punch that would make Muhammad Ali jealous. Our friends' reaction? They clapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 293

You deserved it 46 582

By Anonymous - 04/04/2009 04:34 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor because my arm hurt. When he told me I had tennis elbow I said "that's funny I don't play tennis". Then he asked me if I had a girlfriend. When I said no he said "Well I guess we solved this one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 659

You deserved it 20 832

By Anonymous - 06/07/2013 16:13 - Lithuania - Vilnius

Today, I poured my heart out to my now ex-girlfriend over the recent passing away of my grandmother. Her eyes glazed over multiple times, and when I said that I don't know how to cope with everything, her advice was simply, "Shotgun. Mouth. Blam." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 207

You deserved it 5 165

By Anonymous - 22/05/2019 00:01

Today, a fork hit me in the eye. I was holding it. I didn't even get to eat my chicken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 363

You deserved it 526

By Anonymous - 13/11/2015 18:07 - United States - Dearborn

Today, I got my laptop back after lending it to my friend. It wouldn't boot, and after investigating I found out it'd been stripped of its hard drive and all its memory. When I confronted my "friend", he accused me of lying and trying to ruin his reputation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 394

You deserved it 2 574

By Crunchy - 19/04/2009 21:52 - United States

Today, I had a job interview. Everything was going really well until I noticed a bug on my interviewer's lower neck. I shouted that something really disgusting was crawling on him. It turns out it was his big hairy mole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 412

You deserved it 61 179

Cruel summer

By Anonymous - 22/08/2021 22:01 - Germany - Ebersbach

Today, it’s a rather wet summer and everything in our house is prone to mould. No, I’m not exaggerating when I say “everything”: I just found mould growing on the plates in the cupboard. And, no, we did not accidentally put them away unwashed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 804

You deserved it 66

By Anonymous - 22/05/2013 17:10 - United States - Pomona

Today, my mom took me to a bar to cheer me up after being dumped. Two cute guys around my age kept looking over at us the whole night. When I told my mom, she said she was going to get them to come talk to me. Instead, she ended up leaving with both of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 907

You deserved it 5 124

By sockmonkey - 01/05/2012 02:21 - United States - Corona

Today, my parents decided on my punishment for failing an English test. No deodorant for a week. They think they're so hilarious, they told all their friends and now it's all over Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 685

You deserved it 4 261

Not you

By pandabear - 12/02/2010 19:52 - United Kingdom

Today, I got an alert from Facebook that it was my very popular and attractive classmate's birthday. I decided to be sweet and write "Happy birthday" on her wall, only to notice it wasn't there a few minutes later. I rewrote it again and it disappeared. After three attempts, I took the hint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 611

You deserved it 4 683

By ShampooThief - 12/04/2015 03:05 - United States

Today, my family checked into a hotel for spring break. The first thing my brother did was steal all the bars of soap and bottles of shampoo. He's now guarding them, and hissing at anyone that tries to take them. I just want to take a shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 604

You deserved it 3 001

By cman - 26/02/2010 11:17 - Romania

Today, I was walking past a group of old men exiting a building. All of a sudden, I heard a strange splashing sound, and discovered one of the completely inebriated men walking behind me, pissing on my boots. I sped up, but so did he, and he didn't miss once until he was done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 023

You deserved it 3 115

By SlickMcK - 05/06/2010 21:14 - United States

Today, my mother asked me if I'd heard of anal sex. Before I could fully process her question, she explained that it's dangerous because the tissues of the anus are finer and more susceptible to STDs. There were still forty minutes left in our car ride. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 377

You deserved it 4 326

To snitch or not to snitch

By bioloss - 21/06/2021 08:01 - United States - New York

Today, I found out my mom is sleeping with my boss. My dad doesn’t know yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 189

You deserved it 59

By lonelyguy321 - 27/07/2010 14:43 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to bed with three hot, half-naked girls beneath me. I was in the bunk above. Alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 177

You deserved it 16 534

By Fail - 21/11/2009 05:59 - United States

Today, I thought I'd surprise my girlfriend with a bear hug. I found her in the hall with her back to me talking to friends. As I walked up behind her and was about to wrap my arms around her, she said, "so does anyone have any ideas about how I should break it off with my boyfriend?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 802

You deserved it 2 999

By Anonymous - 12/04/2015 18:29 - United States - South Burlington

Today, I found out that turkeys can fly. I also found out how much a new windshield costs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 075

You deserved it 2 913

By Congrats? - 27/10/2015 15:16 - United States - Charleston

Today, I discovered that my father is getting married. Overjoyed and confused because I didn't know he was dating, I called him up to congratulate him, and ask who she was. Apparently, his soon to be fiancée is my mother-in-law. My wife is not happy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 665

You deserved it 1 837

Pete Townshend has a lot to answer for

By FML4evs - 10/04/2009 02:43 - United States

Today, my little brother watched an old video of The Who, who are know for smashing up their guitars and such. He decided it would be cool to try it with mine. That guitar was worth over $3000. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 723

You deserved it 4 663

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Top comments

Deez_Knots 10

Friday 16 November 2018 12:03

He’s probably crazy and if u said yes to make him feel better he’ll probably follow u off the train. Who cares what he thinks. We know ur not a racist

manb91uk 22

Send a private message

Friday 16 November 2018 23:22

How can several people ask if you're OK if you're the "ONLY one on the bus"

Comments

Deez_Knots 10

Friday 16 November 2018 12:03

He’s probably crazy and if u said yes to make him feel better he’ll probably follow u off the train. Who cares what he thinks. We know ur not a racist

RichardPencil 30

Send a private message

Friday 16 November 2018 16:11

Haven’t you heard? Now that America is getting great again, it’s OK to be racist. Except don’t use that word — the cool kids say “nationalist”these days.

bltoth 8

Send a private message

Friday 23 November 2018 2:59

Are you saying that if a White Girl won't date a Negro that makes her a Racist? You are a Retarded Asshat.

Ellimac21 14

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Friday 16 November 2018 20:34

Be reassured, this has nothing to do with racism or being socially awkward. He didn't have to ask those questions and when you refused to be his "friend" he needed to blame you or make you feel guilty so maybe you would accept to prove him wrong.

Listerinekiss 8

Send a private message

Friday 16 November 2018 20:37

Some people have a hard time accepting rejection. You did the right thing. Don't lose any sleep over that situation, they clearly had a screw loose.

Razell 13

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Friday 16 November 2018 21:55

Well, it's just as well you didn't go out with him. If his behavior was that abusive to start it would only get worse.

GUYMAINE 16

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Saturday 17 November 2018 7:25

racist

bltoth 8

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Sunday 18 November 2018 0:06

Are you a whiny little man child who thinks that she should have entertained this Racist Douchebag?

bltoth 8

Send a private message

Sunday 18 November 2018 0:01

You're lucky! Many women are raped, beaten or killed after being called a racist.

bltoth 8

Send a private message

Sunday 18 November 2018 0:48

Hey Girl, You are not at fault here. You did what you were comfortable doing. Don't be guilted into befriending be someone who would do this to you. They prey on your kindness.