Today, being near-broke, I resorted to shopping at Walmart. Barely ten minutes in, an obese sack of lard posing as a human being shoved me away from the bacon I was looking at. I fell, busted my lip, then got screamed at by another woman for not watching where I was going. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when I saw a really good deal on some bacon. Before I could take any, a huge-ass woman stormed over, kicked my cart down the aisle, and snatched every single packet for herself. And I actually got upset over this. FML
Today, while browsing through Walmart, I slipped on a piece of clothing and fell backwards into an obese lady’s butt. When I landed, she farted. FML
Today, a bratty kid at Walmart called my mom a "fat bitch" when she wasn't walking fast enough for him. Enraged, I gave him the meanest death glare I could muster and I tore him a new one, right in front of his mother, who then defended her kid, saying that my mom and I should both lose a few pounds. FML
Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when a large lady and her friend blocked the aisle I was trying to go down. After saying, "Excuse me," twice and being ignored, I pushed my way through. After getting past, I looked back and noticed she was glaring at me while signing to her friend. FML
Today, I got bitched out by some lady in a Walmart because I looked at her funny while she was on the phone, loudly bragging about "slapping the shit out of" her kids. FML
Today, I walked two miles to the store, filled my cart with groceries, and got to the cashier… only to find I had forgotten my wallet. I tried to explain but got the nastiest stank-eye from the cashier, the manager, and everyone in line behind me. I walked two miles home, hungry and embarrassed. FML
Today, I was at Walmart. A guy in a mobility scooter bumped into me, then told me to "get the fuck out of the way." When I told him to watch his mouth, he got up and shoved me into a shelf. Just a few minutes prior, he'd yelled that he was paralyzed from the waist down. FML
Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML
Today, I was at work at Walmart, casually walking in the middle of the store, when my foot caught on something, so I went flying forward and yelled, being caught off guard, to the point I had to pretend I was running for 3 seconds, then someone blocked my path so I suddenly had to stop. Everyone was staring at me. FML
Today, when I told a gentleman that, no, he couldn't have cash back on his return without a receipt, he started screaming at me that I was calling his mother a liar. He told me to lawyer up and yelled at me for smiling at him. He also screamed at me to go on a diet as he left the store. FML
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Top comments
zandalee 19
Especially if you are so precious that you feel you are too good for Walmart...
heinous966 15
I'm sorry he gave you such a lard time.
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Comments (150)
D3ATHZ3RO 15
Can any of you be serious? If this happened to u, u wouldn't be joking like this
LaUruguaya 11
YDI for thinking someone's weight makes them less than human. You could have just said "and someone shoved me", their weight has nothing to do with it.
dita_devine 2
If you managed to bust your lip then you must have been thrown to the ground. Most people know to block their face when they take a dive. But regardless, I think this is a fake story. I've been to walmarts all over the country and other than Black Friday, people aren't walking around shoving others out of the way, especially not the heavy ones, they're normally panting just from walking around.
GhostChickens 17
Every time somebody posts an FML about Walmart, they make it sound like a drunken rugby match. I've never experienced Walmart so I don't know whether this is an elaborate smear campaign or the tales of a terrified shopper.
nightbirdblue 27
This one is the tale of someone who is too good for Walmart who came into the store with a negative mind set and probably a demeanor that showed that they felt that they were above the place.
Omniprism 14
Yes, Walmart is full of uneducated troglodytes.
worldclassrager 39
Doesn't matter who you are if you are in the way of the bacon you'll be beat down in some way..,
Robert522 4
Apparently, you are a goody 2 shoes, arrogant, spoiled brat with no survival skills! You are such a tard you can't even manage to go to WalMart and pick up a few items with the common folk around?? Was your maid off for the day and you were roughing it?? You should've stood up, looked 'em in the eye, shoved 'em back, grabbed the bacon and headed for the bread aisle! Does your mama have to tell you how to wipe??
actingpickle09 3
That's why I hate Walmart. The staff there is incredibly rude and the customers are even worse. Aldis is much better plus it's usually cheaper.
fireflyinajar 1
If that's how you're going to talk about another human being, I don't give a shit if you have a bad day.
derptitude 4
walmart is the shittiest place to shop. no way in **** will I resort to shopping there without the pistol. conceal carry or bust