Intimacy: Today, at work, my husband came in and brought me flowers and... - FML

By Anonymous - 08/10/2009 16:32 - United States

Spicy

Today, at work, my husband came in and brought me flowers and a card for our anniversary. I opened the card to find a condom. I ran over and closed the door and we immediately got at it in the middle of my office. Halfway through, I realized I have been laying on the intercom button. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 240

You deserved it 37 095

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Revealing

By kitkat545 - 15/06/2009 23:18 - United States

Spicy

Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 065

You deserved it 50 978

By Mrs. Ned - 09/09/2015 02:00 - United States - Incline Village

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my husband having sex with the shower wall. When I got in the shower with him he immediately went soft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 900

You deserved it 3 081

Classic Dave

By Sarahir - 29/04/2020 05:00

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating into the kitchen sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 188

You deserved it 391

Happy anniversary!

By Anonymous - 10/10/2019 14:00 - United States

Today, it's my husband's and my first wedding anniversary. I came home from work hoping for at least a bouquet of flowers, only to find my husband passed out on the couch, with a few beer cans next to him. I guess I missed the party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 772

You deserved it 219

By Anonymous - 30/04/2009 16:54 - United States

Today, my coworker sent an email to the whole company asking us to fill in a survey. I've been secretly seeing her for two months, so I responded with "sure thing baby, and by the way I ran out of condoms, can you bring more for tonight?" I accidentally hit reply all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 012

You deserved it 91 905

By Shobz - 26/10/2009 16:04 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I went home early from a business trip to find my house covered with rose petals. Thinking it was a romantic notion from my boyfriend, I went up to the bedroom. I opened the door to find him lying there, getting it on with my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 623

You deserved it 2 744

It's the thought that counts

By sadwife - 31/05/2009 18:07 - United States

Today, I woke up and my husband said he got me a gift for our one year anniversary and that it was on the table. We laid around cuddling and when I finally got up I was expecting to walk out to beautiful bouquet of flowers. I got two packs of cigarettes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 654

You deserved it 10 748

By Walk of Shame - 13/11/2018 22:00

Today, my boyfriend, who is also my boss, was giving me a blowjob at work. Halfway through, his boss knocked on the door and I had to quickly get dressed and slip out the other door. After leaving, I realized that I was still barefoot and I had to walk back to my desk in front of my colleagues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 458

You deserved it 5 991

By PentiumBawls8 - 20/01/2010 22:38 - United States

Spicy

Today, while at my job, I walked past one of my colleagues who has been sick for the past couple of days. She knows that I'm a tea drinker and asked me for a tea bag. While conversing with her, I handed her one and left. I then later realized that I gave her a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 162

You deserved it 32 902

By chewybarseventy - 24/08/2010 06:17 - United States

Spicy

Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 488

You deserved it 11 066

Next

Top comments

D_R_A_M_A 0

Thursday 8 October 2009 23:34

Wow, I think my mom works with you...

brinky09 0

Thursday 8 October 2009 23:14

Oh you're a smart one, aren't you? YDI for not noticing the button jammed in your back.

Comments

alexooo_fml 0

Monday 29 November 2010 5:37

AWKWARD...

88sforlife 0

Wednesday 1 December 2010 4:52

Ohh Yur A Smaart One

luke1998 0

Friday 4 March 2011 7:33

your a **** 4 doing it at work

sammy259 3

Sunday 20 March 2011 2:08

masturbation Friday at the office

lemothelemon 14

Monday 30 May 2011 10:04

sweet hubby, stupid yoi

Sunny_Eclipse 6

Wednesday 22 June 2011 2:47

Hell yes!!!

Sunny_Eclipse 6

Wednesday 22 June 2011 2:52

What...?

ZeroIce 12

Friday 23 September 2011 21:39

was it at a school?!?

missalkali 8

Saturday 9 June 2012 0:48

no. that's 8 simple rules

Smooshikinz 1

Monday 30 January 2012 0:54

Lmfaoo funny.

jujuroxursox 15

Tuesday 23 April 2013 6:43

Sex at the office? Really… how cliche can u get? A laboratory would have been much more inventive or store front window perhaps

2
3
4
5
6

Keywords

Miscellaneous Cops Neighbours Weird Health Scary Parents Stressed out Embarrassing Transportation Cars Work LGBTQIA+ Love My ex First Dates Facebook Social Media Virginity Sex Intimacy Painful School Awkward Dating Tinder AITA Coworkers Jealousy Relatable

The Top

Today, I got home from working overnight and let the 2 dogs out of their crates. The oldest one (almost 9 years-old) was acting weird. He was shaking and couldn't stand up, let alone sit. I thought something was incredibly wrong. Nope, he just had gotten hold of 10 of my "treats" when my SO wasn't looking. Dude was high all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 129

You deserved it 539

Today, I found a wallet on the train. I called the owner, who said he would come around and pick it up. When he finally did, he looked inside and screamed that his money was missing, and that I was a dirty thief. I never took a cent. He's filing theft charges against me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 430

You deserved it 4 436

The Top

Today, my mom and I went to Best Buy for some Christmas shopping. She picked up some presents for me and told me not to look at what she was buying. When we got to the register, she didn't have enough money, and I ended up having to buy my own presents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 484

You deserved it 3 400

Today, I went on a date with a very cute girl. It went well, until I accidentally called the blueberries in her dessert Oran Berries. I sheepishly explained that they're a berry from the Pokémon universe, at which point she excused herself, never to return. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 766

You deserved it 39 239

Today, I accidentally called a student in my 10th grade English class "David" instead of "Dylan". Without thinking, I said, "I'm sorry, I just have a lot of d's in my life!". All of my students broke out in mortified laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 979

You deserved it 1 065

Today, I learnt the meaning of the phrase "ménage à trois". I had always thought it was synonymous with "fiasco" and have used it several times in essays. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 721

You deserved it 23 617

Today, a stoned man tried to break into my house. Naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 290

You deserved it 4 522

Today, I made up a lie to my girlfriend so I could go to a club with my friends. My girlfriend told me that she was going to stay in and watch a movie. Guess who I shockingly ran into at the club, with her girlfriends? FML

I agree, your life sucks 218

You deserved it 2 288