Today, at my school's Midnight Madness, I was selected to show my school spirit in a contest. Being drunk, I decided to hump the school mascot in front of 300 people. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was chaperoning at my local high school's Homecoming dance. Outside the gym, I saw some kids drinking, so I walked over to stop them. One of them promptly spun around and punched me in the mouth. I had my ass handed to by a drunk 9th grader. FML
Today, I got drunk until morning at a college friend's apartment with bunch of strangers. Some officials came in due to the noise and I tried to scare them away by pretending to sing a latin song of worship I made up, thinking they'd respect the gathering if it was a religious one. FML
Today, I went to a party dressed as a Pinata. Drunk people tried to hit me all night. FML
Today, I was supposed to give a presentation to the incoming freshman about the dangers of drinking in college. My co-presenter showed up drunk. FML
Today, I walked into work after being completly wasted last night. I was sitting in a meeting when all of a sudden the presenter had gotten an e-mail saying "crazy girl dances on tables at local bar". So obviously everyone wanted to watch it. That crazy girl was me. FML
Today, I got an e-mail from my University saying I may have violated the Student Code of Conduct for being drunk in public at a football game, and now I have to go in to defend myself against charges. My lungs filled with fluid at the game, causing me to throw up. I had to be taken away in an ambulance. FML
Today, it was wacky tacky day at my school. I did not participate, however, I did get voted the tackiest outfit in my school. FML
Today, I went to a party that my friends were throwing. I had a great time and got blackout drunk. I woke up to videos from my girlfriend from last night. At some point I'd managed to take off my shorts and boxers and spent the rest of the party naked from the waist down. FML
Today, I got drunk enough to do cartwheels at a company party. In a dress. I work in HR, can’t land a cartwheel, or handle my alcohol. FML
Today, at my school they were having a carnival to raise money. One of the patrons suggested that if they wanted to make money, they should have people pledge money to make me cover my ugly face with a bag. The school got over $500, and I had to wear a bag. FML
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Top comments
redbluegreen 41
Probably the Horny Hornets.
pawpaw_fml 0
What's your school mascot?
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Comments (100)
StarElise 0
FML?!! thats hilarious! you should be proud you have a funny high school story to remember other than remembering the library or something equally as boring!
just_me_tmp 0
I don't think this is high school.
redbluegreen 41
Mercy! My mind! Think of my innocent mind!
redbluegreen 41
If I didn't know better, Mercy, I'd say you were trying to seduce me! Well, sorry to disappoint, but it's not going to work! Well... Maybe...
boone_fml 0
Hey, welcome to drinking. Also, not an FML. If you're a desperate dude you just put yourself in the spotlight. Do it right and you're smoothe cruising to the bone zone.
PhillyFox 0
Definitely not an FML. All the stuff that happened was on your own accord. Either bask in your ten seconds of fame or don't get smashed at events. Simple as that.
redbluegreen 41
You had me at Indian food.
blastvortex 4
In other words... "Today, I found out that I was both a boob and a feeb, even though I brought it upon myself. FML" Are you serious? You don't actually expect sympathy, do you? I hope you got pummeled for screwing about with the school mascot. YDI.
ashleynonymous 0
Sounds like fun. pics?
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
You also had me at Indian food. I'll put on my wizard outfit...
Zazu7711 0
YDI Bitch