Today, at my school's Midnight Madness, I was selected to show my school spirit in a contest. Being drunk, I decided to hump the school mascot in front of 300 people. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was chaperoning at my local high school's Homecoming dance. Outside the gym, I saw some kids drinking, so I walked over to stop them. One of them promptly spun around and punched me in the mouth. I had my ass handed to by a drunk 9th grader. FML
Today, I got drunk until morning at a college friend's apartment with bunch of strangers. Some officials came in due to the noise and I tried to scare them away by pretending to sing a latin song of worship I made up, thinking they'd respect the gathering if it was a religious one. FML
Today, I went to a party dressed as a Pinata. Drunk people tried to hit me all night. FML
Today, I was supposed to give a presentation to the incoming freshman about the dangers of drinking in college. My co-presenter showed up drunk. FML
Today, I walked into work after being completly wasted last night. I was sitting in a meeting when all of a sudden the presenter had gotten an e-mail saying "crazy girl dances on tables at local bar". So obviously everyone wanted to watch it. That crazy girl was me. FML
Today, I got an e-mail from my University saying I may have violated the Student Code of Conduct for being drunk in public at a football game, and now I have to go in to defend myself against charges. My lungs filled with fluid at the game, causing me to throw up. I had to be taken away in an ambulance. FML
Today, it was wacky tacky day at my school. I did not participate, however, I did get voted the tackiest outfit in my school. FML
Today, I went to a party that my friends were throwing. I had a great time and got blackout drunk. I woke up to videos from my girlfriend from last night. At some point I'd managed to take off my shorts and boxers and spent the rest of the party naked from the waist down. FML
Today, I got drunk enough to do cartwheels at a company party. In a dress. I work in HR, can’t land a cartwheel, or handle my alcohol. FML
Today, at my school they were having a carnival to raise money. One of the patrons suggested that if they wanted to make money, they should have people pledge money to make me cover my ugly face with a bag. The school got over $500, and I had to wear a bag. FML
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Top comments
redbluegreen 41
Probably the Horny Hornets.
pawpaw_fml 0
What's your school mascot?
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Comments (100)
Wet_Dream 0
your sir.. got a problem!
ok1022 0
GO MASSHOLES!!
phenistae 0
I am seriously loving you right now op! this is a story that you can tell your grandkids with a smile on your face......Back in my day we used to get drunk and dry hump the mascot in front of the entire school... did i also mention that we had to walk barefoot through the snow 3 miles to make it there? MOTHER ******* EPIC!
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
"I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl 2 Druid."
xiambam 4
You're an idiot. I hated people like you in high school because they thought they were cool for going to school functions half wasted. Grow up and learn when it's appropriate to drink..which, since you're still in high school, isn't for a couple more years dbag.
chalkrocks 0
He's probably not in high school. Midnight Madness is one of the myriad names that the first college basketball practice has, and it's often open to the public and the basketball teams do skits and have a scrimmage.
TC1_fml 0
I'd bet my ass on that you've also never tried dope & have never tried anything hallucinogenic. Really, being wasted is one of the cool parts of growing up. Drunk driving etc is unacceptable, but just simply being wasted -- the what the ****'s school meant for other than that?
Witchcraft_fml 5
Was he good?
McBadAss 0
Did you yell surprise? Because other wise it is rape and not surpise sex. YDI because there are so many ways that could have been aviod, although it is funny. By the way, we may have found the next Tumbles the Stairdragon. http://en.wikifur.com/wiki/Tumbles_the_Stairdragon
thegreenfairy 0
Now I wish I went to Midnight Madness.
thelistman 0
These are the FML's which should have a vote option of "Your life rules!"
RFreedom 0
ur awesome lol!!