Today, I got drunk enough to do cartwheels at a company party. In a dress. I work in HR, can’t land a cartwheel, or handle my alcohol. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I walked into work after being completly wasted last night. I was sitting in a meeting when all of a sudden the presenter had gotten an e-mail saying "crazy girl dances on tables at local bar". So obviously everyone wanted to watch it. That crazy girl was me. FML
Today, my friend and I went to a club. She said I look hilarious when I dance drunk. I was completely sober. FML
Today, my work had an employee party at the park and I drank a little too much vodka. Towards the end of the party, I found myself making out with a tree in front of all my co-workers. FML
Today, I went to my first university party already a little drunk. I perched on the end of a table to cool off from the dancing and the whole table tipped over and dumped me onto the floor. I was promptly laughed out of the room. FML
Today, I tried to show off my dance moves at a party and ended up falling through a glass table. FML
Today, I was so drunk that I pissed myself in a hotel hallway while wearing a dress. My shoes squished all the way back to the room. FML
Today, for the first time, I decided to just be myself at work. My boss thought I was drunk. FML
Today, I was drunkenly showing my juggling skills at a party with three apples. I nailed it until one flew out of my hand, hit a guest in the face, and knocked their drink all over the host’s new beige couch. FML
Today, I attempted to make a good impression amongst new coworkers by volunteering to be the designated driver at my work party. What did that get me? A backseat full of puke and some idiot too drunk to remember where he lived. FML
Today, I was at my boss's house for a company BBQ. Earlier I had taken muscle relaxants to calm my lower back pain. After a few drinks it was clear the alcohol and medication did not mix. I woke up few hours later to find out I had stripped naked and jumped into the 4-foot cake before passing out. FML
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Top comments
kitten79TX 5
It always amazes me how many people think getting drunk at a work related event is a good idea. My rule of thumb. no more than 2 drinks. Period. No exceptions. And if I have red wine, only one, sipped slowly.
wysegirl 24
So did you just ignore your limits?
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Comments (3)
RichardPencil 32
So, if they have the Drunk Olympics, you could compete in Gymnastics? Depending on how your dress flowed during your cartwheel, you might get reported to HR! And have to do a self-write-up.
wysegirl 24
So did you just ignore your limits?
kitten79TX 5
It always amazes me how many people think getting drunk at a work related event is a good idea. My rule of thumb. no more than 2 drinks. Period. No exceptions. And if I have red wine, only one, sipped slowly.
RichardPencil 32
I don't drink at all at these parties, but I pretend like I'm drunk off my ass and I tell everyone exactly how I feel about them. And then spending the rest of the year apologizing. I've gotten many raises, bonuses and promotions using this strategy! Try it!