That sucks OP. Maybe time to find a new job, doesn't sound like employees are treated fairly.

Take a shit in the urinals

Poor janitors

That doesn't even hurt the boss, only the janitors, why should you hurt the janitors when they clearly have a crappy boss

Shit on his desk then

that's the simple fact of corporation work. or any work at all. consider yourself lucky that you got a job at all.

if you must find another job, do so before you quit your current one.

the sheer volume of FML's and the existence of bad bosses, incompetent bosses, well meaning but stupid bosses, bad coworkers, corrupt people, and so on, makes it all suspect.

its simply easier to believe that the worse is not only possible, but an inevitability, so that when its subverted, it carries more weight than it otherwise would. and if its bad, oh well, you expected it, and prepared for it. no biggie.

I hate that people could be so ungrateful and not care

next time bring a box of cookies for him and eat them all and see how he likes it

It's the thought that counts right? The thought counts for jack shit but hey, it's there.

What? You get paid the wage and benefits you agreed on when you were offered the job, right? What's with all these entitled assholes thinking they are due something extra "just because"?

Your boss=asshole + higher position

Communism is about using the working man's "hammer" to rise up. At this point an actual hammer would do just fine

Personally I give out Dunkin gift cards, usually for 20, and also try to put my staff in for as many awards as possible (which usually have either vacation days or money attached) Having had crappy staff before- which makes my life very, very hard, I like to treat the good ones well.
However, if you are not a great employee- taking tons of time off, calling out last minute, not completing projects- then it would prolly be store bought cookies too...
Find a boss who will appreciate you.