Today, as I was putting stuff into the back of my car, a man...

By fugly - 6/6/2015 00:44 - United States - Landenberg

Today, as I was putting stuff into the back of my car, a man walked by and said I looked "super fine." When I looked up to look him in the face, he immediately looked disgusted and basically ran away. Apparently, my face does that. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27883

You deserved it

2346

Favorite

Miscellaneous

Work name

The student becomes the master

Vultures

By Unlovedchild - 21/3/2011 15:03

Today, I found out why my parents forgot my birthday. Facebook didn't remind them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43166

You deserved it

4695

Favorite

By so bored -__- - 25/2/2012 04:18 - United States

Today, my parents dragged me along to a family soccer game. I got so bored watching a bunch of grown men practically buttfucking each other between kicking balls around the field, that I fell asleep. I woke up a few hours later to an empty field and had to walk five miles back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18525

You deserved it

31070

Favorite

By anon - 13/1/2016 02:41 - United States

Today, I was eating at a diner one of my friends from work recommended to me. I ordered a chicken salad sandwich, which was pretty good despite the used bandaid in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21723

You deserved it

1334

Favorite

By Anonymous - 1/11/2010 19:53 - United States

Today, while with my new boyfriend, my ex called to tell me I needed to go to the doctor to get checked out. He had gotten an STD from the girl he cheated on me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42087

You deserved it

4037

Favorite

By Anonymous - 7/11/2010 21:32 - United States

Today, I went on a drive with my girlfriend when we went past a 'Dead End' sign. She pointed to it and said it was "Foreshadowing our relationship". FML

I agree, your life sucks

34773

You deserved it

3497

Favorite

By Anonymous - 17/12/2013 17:20 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I came home after a long day at work, and decided to tidy up a bit before finally settling down to relax. I went to take the garbage out, when the bag split and out fell the trash along with hundreds of tiny red ants. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41018

You deserved it

3269

Favorite

By Anonymous - 14/8/2014 03:02 - New Zealand

Today, it was a hot day and a woman walking in front of me collapsed. I helped her up, and I called an ambulance while she laid down. While we waited, two teenage girls walked past and I heard one say to the other, "I love how this city just lets people tan wherever". FML

I agree, your life sucks

44427

You deserved it

3195

Favorite

By Anonymous - 23/12/2014 18:24 - United States - Waxhaw

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said, "Can't, bigamy's illegal." I still don't know if she was joking or not, because she keeps changing the subject whenever I mention it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33822

You deserved it

3047

Favorite

By justonce - 23/9/2013 22:38 - United States - Williamstown

Today, the boy who loved me and left me literally became the poster boy for my college. His picture is on the home page of the college website and on a banner in the cafeteria where I eat every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45174

You deserved it

3499

Favorite

By Anonymous - 6/2/2010 12:40 - United Kingdom

Today, I received our gas bill for about £200. My flatmate felt that this was extortionate and therefore phoned up our gas company and angrily told them to recalculate the bill. They did. We now owe £300. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28397

You deserved it

5024

Favorite

By you can't win - 10/7/2017 21:00

A Lose-Lose Situation

Today, after months of being called paranoid, distrusting and over-possessive by my girlfriend for being suspicious of her, I learned that she really is cheating on me with her coworker. When confronted, she called me ignorant, gullible and naive for believing her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5302

You deserved it

392

Favorite

By Anonymous - 8/9/2012 14:20 - United States - Rhodes

Today, I told my husband that I'm tired of feeling like his "blow-up doll". His response was to honk my boob and make squeaking noises. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30173

You deserved it

5662

Favorite

By Anonymous - 12/11/2011 05:34 - United States

Today, I found a note on my door that said "I masturbate to your pictures on Facebook." Someone else wrote "like" at the bottom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44809

You deserved it

8417

Favorite

By ether10 - 4/6/2009 06:27 - United States

Today, my dad asked me to move a potted plant from one side of the yard to the other. It looked like a very heavy pot, so I heaved it up with all my might. Turns out it was one of those heavy-looking ones that are actually light plastic. I fell over backwards and dumped dirt into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47020

You deserved it

19709

Favorite

By tool - 9/4/2009 06:03 - United States

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43845

You deserved it

142890

Favorite

By AshamedDaughter - 17/8/2011 07:14 - Canada

Today, my Dad and I went to McDonald's, only to have him shove two handfuls of sugar packets into the bag. He said, "If it's for free, why only take one?" To make it worse, my crush was at the till, watching what was happening. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28422

You deserved it

3746

Favorite

By DesignNerd - 25/1/2019 18:00

Today, my best friend excitedly told me all about this new video game she'd just discovered that she thought I'd love. It was her Xmas present from me 2 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2153

You deserved it

188

Favorite

By oshitdonotwant - 8/8/2009 13:42 - United States

Today, I was having breakfast when my mom's boyfriend came and sat right across from me. He didn't try and hide the fact that he was staring at my chest and told me, "Wow, you're getting bigger." I glared at him. He winked at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

68339

You deserved it

4049

Favorite

By single - 1/7/2011 09:12 - China

Today, my wife and I were watching TV. The lady on the show began to talk about how to have a smooth divorce. My wife discreetly turned the volume up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46725

You deserved it

4496

Favorite

By Flora - 17/4/2013 22:56 - United States - Watsonville

Today, I got ancestry DNA tests for my parents and myself. The DNA testing company informed me that I'm a 50% match for my mother but I share no DNA with my father. Apparently, both my parents forgot that they used a sperm donor. This insignificant detail has slipped their minds for 35 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51516

You deserved it

3280

Favorite

By emma209 - 24/1/2012 18:07 - Canada

Today, it's -20°C outside. Half way through my thirty minutes walk to work, my boss pulled up beside me in her car, said "You look cold. I'll see you at work." And then drove away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40345

You deserved it

3208

Favorite

By salt. - 28/2/2012 22:04 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My fiancé decided to give me the gift of "freedom". That's how he put it, anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34065

You deserved it

2584

Favorite

By chiraag87 - 6/11/2009 18:37 - United States

Today, I was called into work to fix up their projection system. I drove 40 kilometers in peak hour to get there. As soon as I parked my car and was about to walk in, I got a phone call saying "Don't worry, we fixed it, you don't have to come in." FML

I agree, your life sucks

28317

You deserved it

2195

Favorite

By ugh - 25/4/2009 23:36 - United States

Today, at the rescue group I volunteer at, we finally adopted out a dog that has been with us for a few years now. This was an amazing thing for us because we never thought he'd get adopted. As we were getting excited and hugging each other, the dog ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45923

You deserved it

8071

Favorite

By ThreeWeeksWithoutSex - 28/12/2016 05:43 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my daughter fell asleep early, so my husband and I decided to get frisky. He passed out mid blow job. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24172

You deserved it

2844

Favorite

By Anonymous - 15/1/2013 12:14 - Canada - Saint-laurent

Today, after working the midnight shift at my job, I thought it would be nice to leave a sweet love note along with my boyfriend's favourite candy in his car. Upon finding it, he immediately broke up with me for "breaking into" his car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35604

You deserved it

5292

Favorite

By - 9/1/2017 20:30

Today, my parents accidentally bounced some checks through a miscommunication. They now owe the bank $700 and can't afford groceries, which means we're relying on me, a 17-year-old girl who works at McDonald's 2 days a week, to get us by for the next few weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5951

You deserved it

492

Favorite

By collegestudent - 20/9/2019 02:01

Alexa, play "What's My Age Again?" by Blink182

Today, my dad asked me if I needed crayons for school. I'm going to college this fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1251

You deserved it

186

Favorite

By Phycheledic - 12/5/2016 10:22 - United States

Today, I was volunteering at the daycare in my area. When this one kid was leaving, he asked his mom, "Why is she so ugly?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

14418

You deserved it

1563

Favorite

By rhya4n - 15/5/2012 19:27 - Denmark - Herlev

Today, while I was applying some eyeliner, my cat jumped onto the counter and managed to headbutt me. The wand scratched a good portion of my eyeball, and now for the next few weeks, I will have to deal with the pain of a corneal abrasion. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24911

You deserved it

3239

Favorite

By gabe8 - 15/6/2009 05:42 - Mexico

Today, after buying the plane ticket to Glendale, CA to visit 17 year old Courtney who I met on a dating website, she called me for the first time to say that she was actually 19 year old Seth from Atlanta, GA. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17362

You deserved it

95998

Favorite

By Anonymous - 10/1/2011 19:14 - United States

Today, I was drinking a bottle of water. My friend came up from behind and scared me, causing me to inhale and choke on the water. Lacking air, I passed out. I awoke to him on the ground laughing his ass off. I almost drowned drinking a bottle of water. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33231

You deserved it

4328

Favorite

By whoneedsloveanyway - 21/6/2020 02:01

Swindler's List

Today, I found out that my fiancé has a list with every woman he slept. Chronologically. I'm number 23, out of 27. Our wedding is in two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2045

You deserved it

144

Favorite

By Anonymous - 23/4/2011 20:54 - United States

Today, I asked a coworker if she would cover for me on Easter because I want to spend it with my 3 year old daughter. She said no because she wants to spend Easter with her kids, too. She doesn't have kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38185

You deserved it

6955

Favorite

By Anonymous - 7/5/2020 17:00

Tonight, on Asshole Bosses…

Today, my boss gave me attitude for not going to back to work this Friday. I'm a massage therapist and where I live, it's currently illegal to practice during the pandemic. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1572

You deserved it

Favorite

By Katyness - 10/5/2016 20:20 - United Kingdom

Today, the canteen of the company I work for introduced a cash-less payment method to purchase food. To use it, employees must download the app, which is only available for iPhones. I have a BlackBerry. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11886

You deserved it

3278

Favorite

By Midge - 16/3/2010 23:03 - United States

Today, as I was pulling out of the school parking lot I was blasting my music and feeling pretty awesome, I got a few honks and felt even cooler. Until some lady pulled up next to me and told me I had left my binder on the roof and all my papers were all over the road behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9144

You deserved it

43951

Favorite

By aswamk - 19/12/2015 05:01 - Pakistan - Karachi

Today, my constant constipation has become a running joke in my family; I heard my mom tell my dad that if he wants to keep his Christmas presents safe, he should ask me to eat them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20876

You deserved it

1683

Favorite

By WorkSexMonkey - 4/1/2010 19:20 - United States

Today, I found out that shutting off the heat in the rental property my parents owned was a bad idea. The water froze and the pipes burst, causing the whole kitchen ceiling to fall down. The water ruined the wood floors and the appliances. I turned off the heat to save money. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12983

You deserved it

36906

Favorite

By Shotacon - 7/4/2016 03:06 - United States - Woodbury

Today, while using the leg press at the gym, some guy thought he could use more weight than me since I look really young. He hurt himself. He then blamed me and tried to get me kicked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21009

You deserved it

1273

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By WavRace | 14

#6312340 - Saturday 6 June 2015 16:20

Or maybe intimidation, if I said something like behind a woman's back and she turned around me, I'd be on the other side of town real fast.

By IndicaPaincakes | 27

#6312329 - Saturday 6 June 2015 16:18

What a jerk! I'm sorry that happened, just ignore things like that. :(

COMMENTS

By IndicaPaincakes | 27

#6312329 - Saturday 6 June 2015 16:18

What a jerk! I'm sorry that happened, just ignore things like that. :(

By Marshmallowjello | 22

#6312331 - Saturday 6 June 2015 16:18

Maybe he was just too nervous to speak to you?

mmmxr | 11

#6312514 - Saturday 6 June 2015 19:47

If he was nervous he wouldn't of said "super fine" in the first place. He sounds like a player not a shy guy.

By superwh00 | 10

#6312332 - Saturday 6 June 2015 16:18

Sorry OP! He wasn't worth your time anyways

By Pleonasm | 34

#6312333 - Saturday 6 June 2015 16:19

Maybe it's just your breath, like in that episode "Something Smells" of Spongebob.

IndicaPaincakes | 27

#6312344 - Saturday 6 June 2015 16:23

"Once there was an ugly barnacle. he was so ugly that everyone died."

Pleonasm | 34

#6312345 - Saturday 6 June 2015 16:24

"DEUUEAUGH"

nana_star | 27

#6312380 - Saturday 6 June 2015 17:14

Be ugly and PROUD!

By Markovski | 18

#6312334 - Saturday 6 June 2015 16:19

He can go fuck himself. Ignore that OP.

By The_Avatar | 22

#6312335 - Saturday 6 June 2015 16:19

Probably just caught sight of his own reflection! Haha come on im sure your face is awesome!

By windyal0115 | 15

#6312339 - Saturday 6 June 2015 16:20

Every person has their own definition of what beauty is.

By WavRace | 14

#6312340 - Saturday 6 June 2015 16:20

Or maybe intimidation, if I said something like behind a woman's back and she turned around me, I'd be on the other side of town real fast.

By bluebell707 | 13

#6312341 - Saturday 6 June 2015 16:21

That audacity.

By CyberSeeker | 20

#6312342 - Saturday 6 June 2015 16:21

Bet ur dad was walking about behind u and he ran because he was frightened of your dad

BergerL | 13

#6312403 - Saturday 6 June 2015 18:03

You have a strong imagination

cheeeksss | 29

#6313148 - Sunday 7 June 2015 9:34

Totally irrelevant, but I've always wondered how people have managed to switch between "ur" and "your" in the same sentence. I thought if one doesn't like spelling out the whole word, they would be consistent with "ur" ...idk sorry my side OCD is talking.