Work: Today, army recruiters came to my school and set up some punching...

By Anonymous - 04/11/2014 18:30 - United States - San Francisco

Today, army recruiters came to my school and set up some punching bags to attract potential recruits. I gave it a shot, managing to set the highest score at my school and fracture my wrist at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 937

You deserved it 7 028

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

Fake it til you make it

By foreveralone15 - 24/06/2021 10:59

Today, I sprained an arm muscle while pretending to lift weights. FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 788

By Disappointed - 31/10/2010 04:06 - United States

Today, at school I pulled my bicep muscle arm wrestling. I lost. He was 14. I'm the 23 year old security guard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 485

You deserved it 9 816

By inpain - 17/03/2016 04:56 - United States - San Francisco

Today, in my self-defense class, we did an attack simulation. As I began to hit my attacker, my fist hit the top of his helmet, dislocating my shoulder. I then spent the next hour in the ER sobbing until it was popped back in. I need to learn to defend myself against myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 888

You deserved it 2 402

By sara - 17/09/2009 21:17 - United States

Today, during gym class, my teacher insisted that everyone should relieve some stress by throwing a basketball at the wall. I wound up and hurled the thing at the wall, it bounced back and hit me in the stomach. I began to vomit uncontrollably. Even my teacher laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 253

You deserved it 10 455

Badass

By Anonymous - 12/04/2016 12:29 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, my friend invited me to his boxing club for the first time. Since I'm somewhat short and scrawny-looking, he was worried that the workout would be too difficult for me. I waved him off and told him that I was tougher than I looked. Five minutes into class, I sprained my ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 948

You deserved it 4 935

By Bonecrusher - 27/03/2015 22:50 - United States - Sonoma

Today, I was trying out for a position as pitcher for my college baseball team. I threw the ball as hard as I could, and then collapsed to the ground in agony from a dislocated shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 410

You deserved it 5 338

By tyler_powellROTC - 15/12/2016 03:43 - United States - Irving

Today, while practicing for a competition, someone decided to spin a rifle with a bayonet. I'm currently sitting in the ER with stitches in my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 215

You deserved it 551

Do you even lift, bro?

By Anonymous - 11/08/2013 04:24 - United States

Today, while working out in the gym, I spotted a very attractive girl. I decided to pick up the heaviest dumbbell to show off how much I could curl. She ended up driving me to the hospital because I burst into tears after tearing up my bicep and deltoid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 575

You deserved it 66 909

Score!

By zwillywilly - 10/08/2009 04:03 - United States

Today, I was working in a warehouse where fellow employees were kicking empty boxes around. Seeing a box, I got running distance and kicked it as hard as I could, only to look up in horror to see that I had kicked into our CEO's face. I still had both my arms up in score mode. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 568

You deserved it 50 581

By Sayahh - 07/01/2017 08:07

Today, I pulled a muscle at work doing a cartwheel. I was doing the cartwheel to prove to one of my students that adults can do cartwheels too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 623

You deserved it 3 234

octeight 15

Wednesday 5 November 2014 0:14

Guess you could say that you broke the record

ComoEsJuan 24

Wednesday 5 November 2014 0:14

Tough break, OP

Comments

killeensp 3

Wednesday 5 November 2014 6:35

"perfect!" -recruiter

bobslawnservice 16

Wednesday 5 November 2014 6:42

Yep, sounds like you are dumb enough to be cannon fodder.

atozzerotonine 3

Wednesday 5 November 2014 7:15

"Front line infantry!"

Karenezzy 20

Wednesday 5 November 2014 7:37

We got a tough guy over here

siggy_mcsigx 22

Wednesday 5 November 2014 8:13

I guess the urge for freedom isn't in your bones

tdawg91 17

Wednesday 5 November 2014 9:30

Well atleast there's a career for you in a couple of months when it heals!

patrickeli 15

Wednesday 5 November 2014 9:53

At least you broke the record you badass you

scottyboy417 19

Wednesday 5 November 2014 10:12

Worth it just for bragging rights

worldclassrager 39

Wednesday 5 November 2014 11:55

Good show...bad result...get well soon

MrCantgetright 4

Wednesday 5 November 2014 13:27

don't be a fool, stay in school. do you really want to be sent to catch Ebola by the same government that will say "we're here for you."

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I spent two hours perfecting a really romantic text message to my boyfriend for our one year anniversary. I listed all the things I loved about him, and recalled some of our best times together. Two minutes after I sent it, he replied, "Huh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 765

You deserved it 10 103

Today, I caught my young son watching porn so, not wanting to give him a warped view of sex and love, I was giving him the proper sex talk when my religious mother walked in, realised what we were talking about, and started screaming about sin and hell and diseases, and he ran off crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 632

You deserved it 96

The Top

Today, my sister sent me countless pictures of my boyfriend making out with different girls at a bar. His excuse? Photoshop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 202

You deserved it 4 325

Today, I went to see a doctor because I have been feeling of pressure in my chest. After running numerous tests, I was told I was perfectly healthy and had nothing to worry about. I made it as far as the front door before I collapsed and had to be rushed to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 094

You deserved it 1 483

Today, I'm still learning how to drive stick. I went to pick up my son from school and stalled out during high traffic. The crossing guard had to rescue me by getting in my car and pull it out of the flow of traffic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 219

You deserved it 615

Today, my boyfriend wanted me to send him a pic of myself being happy for his phone's caller ID. So I picked out a picture where I'm grinning a big grin, clearly very happy like he asked. He replies back, "You look weird there. Send a pretty one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 320

You deserved it 5 032

Today, I asked my aunt to pluck my eyebrows since hers are perfectly done. What I didn't know is she gets hers professionally shaped and she doesn't know how to shape eyebrows. I now look like a surprised Vulcan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 809

You deserved it 22 675

Today, one of the guests I was in the middle of seating knocked an empty wine glass from the table. I assured them it was all right, and kneeled down to pick up the now broken glass. The lady insisted on helping, as far as picking the glass up and dumping the shards into my open hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 129

You deserved it 3 846