Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met online. Not only was he boring, he twice excused himself to go to the bathroom and both times he came back smelling of weed. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Same thing different taste
Today, I went on a first date with the guy I really like. During our dinner, he said he needed to go to the bathroom. You guessed it: he didn't come back. FML
Nature calls
Today, I was on a first date with a guy I met online. He seemed nice at first, but as we were walking he suddenly stopped and said, "I have to pee." He walked over to urinate on a nearby tree while I awkwardly stood there. FML
Matching
Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met online. I arrived early and waited for him for over an hour. When he finally showed up, he was wearing the exact same outfit as me. FML
Today, I had a first date with a guy I met online. And his mom. FML
Is this catfishing?
Today, I went on a date with someone I've been talking to online for weeks. Unfortunately, it turns out they'd used old photos and misrepresented themselves, and I didn't find them attractive at all. Even I'm not that desperate. We ended up having an awkward dinner and I couldn't wait for it to be over. FML
Biohazard
Today, I went on a date with a guy I met online. He took me to a restaurant where I was allergic to practically everything on the menu. I sneezed five or six times within the first 15 minutes and spent the rest of the lunch awkwardly trying to explain I wasn't allergic to him, just the food and spices floating around us. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy I met online. It was going OK, until he started asking me if he should stick with the site until he finds the right person. I guess I know how he feels about me, at least. FML
High times
Today, I went on a date to the zoo. I soon found out that my date had eaten several hash brownies before entering. FML
No smoke, no fire
Today, I went on a blind date that my friend set up for me. It was going pretty good, then he said he was going to go out to smoke. Ten minutes went by and he still hadn't come back. I called my friend and she said he doesn't smoke. FML
Tonight, on First Dates…
Today, I finally got the courage to go on a first date with this guy I had a crush on for months. It was such a big deal for me cause it was my first date ever. The first thing he says when we met was, "I have to take a dump." I sat by myself for 10 minutes. FML
Top comments
Joshwarrior 39
Maybe he thought you were boring :/ it works both ways you know
Sandsh8rk 36
"I was gonna get a girl, but then I got high...."
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Comments (53)
Joshwarrior 39
Maybe he thought you were boring :/ it works both ways you know
martialart1st18 19
Yeah he had to get high to make you less boring OP
thefastnfuryass 14
"I was gonna eat yo pussy too but then I got high!"
babygurll19 10
Weed all have to agree, you guys weren't meant to be "joint" together, OP.
addictedtosorrow 12
Get married and become newlyweeds OP!
SqueakyChipmunk 22
19 - I love how you chose that line out of all the others in the song.
ileenefudge 29
Ren_Uchiha 11
Well, better he smoke weed then cigarrettes, IMO.
tygerarmy 35
This is why you don't forget to bring a Towel!
tygerarmy 35
Damn it Towelie the bathroom on a first date is not the place to get high!
Joshwarrior 39
Love the towlie reference but are you talking to yourself? Lol
emmingle 24
420 dump him.
DaMann360 19
Never go out with 'em in the first place. That's why I don't trust online dating stuff. You never know who you're gonna get until it's too late. As far as you probably knew, he could've been a part of some human trafficking stunt and you were his prey. OP, be VERY careful with meeting people online.
parism143 28
#24, if it's via Facebook or some other social media, it's pretty easy to figure out if they're a shady person or not. I've met some of the most valued people in my eyes via the internet.
underthesea12 24
#24 Its not like someone you meet without the internets couldn't be a sociopath.
jkmartinjk 16
@35: Internet 101: A human trafficker wouldn't use their own picture on an online dating site or facebook or anything else online. They pick a 'non-shady' person with a lot of available photos and reel you in that way.... I don't understand the naivety of people concerning the internet. Internet safety is huge in schools these days; at least in Canada, which is where you go to school.
syki 22
I know it's right on her profile, but I love the way you ended your post. :P
parism143 28
#47 of course it is, actually, thanks for bringing that up. I can't even count the around of police officers that came inside a class in both primary and secondary school to speak about internet safety, but come on. I mean of course if a sociopath is trying to lure someone in, they're going to use a fake picture, but there are ways of confirming their identity. For example, if they have absolutely no friends besides you is an indication, or any pictures of themselves tagged in photos. If you're really skeptical, Skype or Snapchat is an option. They can't exactly fake it then.
Marley_000 14
Actually #47 quite a few human traffickers use social media, and do use their real pictures. There's a movie coming out about a woman that escaped a trafficking ring in Nevada, after being held for over a decade. Most of the girls they kidnapped they had met men online or on fb, and would "date" them for weeks (the guys being well groomed and not at all shady) before coming up with some excuse that they needed their "gf's" help with moving out their cousin, ect, and lure them to a storage warehouse and lock them in with the other dozens of girls, and "guards." They use their real pictures because they're not afraid of being caught. As of 2009 an estimated 50,000 women in the US are in the sex trade, with at least a quarter of that number being there against their will. How many sex traffickers are there then, in the US alone? Probably a couple thousand. How many are caught in a given year? It's estimated 24% of men in the US have or will buy sex at some point in their lives.
emilycb93 12
Maybe he was just trying to calm his nerves.
Axel5238 29
If he's doing out on a date to calm his nerves he's got to think about how much he's using. Also most places it's still illegal. Love many people think they are funny for " she's mad cuz he doesn't share heehe" no she doesn't want someone on an illegal substance, reliant on it, possibly drove while high and, high in public I've. have friends who thought that was ok. You avoid being with them in your early 20's by mid to late 20's it is really sad. Most I know are a liability and should be avoided good for you up. Though, you should've left sooner.
Already_Dead 15
I agree with the second guy. Since when is it ever ok to smoke an illegal drug in public? I know someone who smoked quite a bit, who happens to live under my roof, and it's disgusting. For one thing, the smell sticks to your clothes. When I go out in public, I don't want to smell like that nasty stuff. I'm sure the person living in my home is rather high often. Wouldn't care so much if 1, he didn't do it in the very place I live. 2, If it was outside rather than indoors. 3, If he didn't encourage my family memebers to try it. I also know someone who grows it, illegally. Sorry, that stinks Op. Perhaps you'll have better luck next time, with a guy that actually at least acts like he wants to be there. People truly do forget their manners... And apparently their dates...
radrahrachel 7
There's absolutely nothing disgusting about marijuana. And have you actually taken the time to look into the medical benefits marijuana has? My boyfriend happens to have his medical marijuana card and it's very beneficial. I agree it's not for everybody if they don't wanna try it they don't wanna try it that's fine. But don't bash on something you know nothing about.
Axel5238 29
How were they bashing it?. If they don't like the smell( it is strong) and it concerned them because it's illegal still in most places and if the person was growing it illegally. That's not bashing those are all very valid reason not to want to be around it. Plus if in the OP case they may have been the type to smoke before driving which is never ok.
radrahrachel 7
Actually studies have shown that avid smokers (in most cases) are fine to drive while medicated. It's the "occasional" smokers who are the ones who should definitely not be driving. And I heard but I'm not sure if it's true or not but Michigan may be trying to pass a law stating that if you have your medical marijuana card you have the okay to drive.
xxrebelsxx 13
I bet you won't be going on a second date lol, you should have left when he went to the bathroom for the second time
skittyskatbrat 19
Oh, no, you don't leave him. You switch places with another female who is willing to go along with it, similar age and appearance. And then you wait to see how long it takes him to realize it's not the same person. If he's rude enough to get stoned on a first date, then he's fair game for "messing with the stoned guy's mind".
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Where are you going to find a girl who looks enough like OP to take her place on such short notice? It be funnier to put a completely different girl in her place.
alphabetta 23
It's not really "rude" to get stoned on the first date. Just stupid as hell.
DanielleinDC 34
It's even better if she asks a woman who looks nothing like her to switch places, just to mess with stoner boy's head. Well, it's one bad night, OP; at least you never have to see him again.
Axel5238 29
If he's dumb enough to have driven there she should've used her cell to call the cops. If I was there and saw someone get busted in public I'd laugh. Most need a rude awakening that it's gotten out of hand. Hopefully, the OP's date eventually changes there habits. You want to do it at home fine smoke on your days off.
Sandsh8rk 36
"I was gonna get a girl, but then I got high...."
tygerarmy 35
La-da-da-da
Zimmington 21
"I'm still single as ****, and I know why, (why man) because I got high, because I got high, because I got hiiigghh"
HowieDoIt 21
I thought everyone online was a French model?!
flamedragon2525 11
lol
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Bonjor.
auro7 18
What about all the sexy single ladies in my area?!
jo0owe 9
btw if People correct others with their english ill do it too in french, its bonjour not bonjor....unless you want to say it with à big english accent
dantheman97 9
How do u know what weed smells like?
HowieDoIt 21
You're telling me you've never been to Walmart?
rocker_chick23 27
Who doesn't know what weed smells like? You must've had boring friends if you don't know what it smells like.
laden_swallow09 35
Or Taco Bell at 1 in the morning?
lexiieeex3 32
Is this a serious question...
Credibleskills 28
He was trying hi(GH)de from his problems
Rainhawk94 27
You must be high to think that was clever
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Even without the parentheses, that would make no sense.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
...You know, because he forgot a word...
WizzleMan17 11
A friend with weed is a friend indeed
laden_swallow09 35
Nope. Just a supplier.
Cian_1 28
Ain't it 'a friend in need, is a friend indeed. But a friend with weed is better.'? Although now I think about it, there is countless variations with that lyric. :P