Today, a repairman woke me up so he could change the filter in...

By Anonymous - 11/12/2009 03:10 - United States

Today, a repairman woke me up so he could change the filter in my furnace. This would have been fine, except he didn't wake me up until he was already in my room, where I was sleeping naked. FML

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Miscellaneous

DINOSAURS!!

Or he's just becoming an old goober

Insane parents

By 7rafe7 - 6/2/2011 07:37 - United States

Today, I learned that standing next to a hobo doesn't make me look better in comparison, but instead just makes me seem like a hobo as well. FML

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By ughhhh - 3/5/2014 21:10 - United States

Today, my mom spent over $200 getting me tested for every drug in the book. All because I admitted to smoking a single cigarette two years ago. FML

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By Anonymous - 5/5/2015 19:54 - United States - Exton

Today, marks the fourth day in a row that I've worn the same outfit to prove to my parents that they pay me no attention. They still haven't noticed. FML

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By Anonymous - 21/4/2020 17:00

Every little helps

Today, I found out that my grandmother desecrated my grandfather's grave. 14 years after his death, she dug up his body and had him cremated so that she could sell his plot back to the cemetery for money. I was the one who found out so I had to tell the rest of the family. FML

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By lance - 12/3/2010 12:10 - Canada

Today, I parked my car to go inside to grab my wallet than I'd forgotten. In the short time it took me to do that, someone broke two of my car's windows. FML

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By awkardtaco - 28/9/2018 13:30

Today, in spite of 2 different types of bug spray, underwear, and jeans, I discovered not one, but two mosquito bites on my vagina. FML

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By Nyah Murphy - 5/12/2017 19:00

Today, I fell asleep for 20 minutes during my first final in law school. I took a $70k loan to be here. FML

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By badbirthday - 16/3/2009 20:51 - Canada

Today, is my 16th birthday. Thinking that my parents would be out of town for it like they had every other year, I decided it would be fun to tan nude in my backyard. Apparantly my parents set up a surprise party for my sweet 16. I was standing naked infront of half my school. FML

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By PissedAtLife - 23/2/2011 20:37 - United States

Today, I was invited to a counseling group for people with emotional problems. I brought the permission slip home for my mom to sign, only for her to accuse me of being a hypochondriacal, lazy, selfish bitch. And my friends wonder why I have problems. FML

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By Icy - 25/10/2008 16:56

Lost

Today, I was writing to my girlfriend on MSN when her roommate answered, "Sorry, this isn't Marie, she's at her boyfriend’s." Really? I've looked everywhere in my apartment, and I can’t find her. FML

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By Yeppets - 27/7/2014 18:44 - United States

Today, I went to a comedy show with my mom, and they asked the audience members to yell out their problems as ideas for an improv skit. My mom yelled, "My daughter can't get a boyfriend!" FML

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By noeducation - 27/8/2009 09:16 - Canada

Today, I found out why my parents have been trying to convince me not to go to college this year. I also found out where the $20,000 they just spent on landscaping came from. My college fund. Which is now $0. FML

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By Anonymous - 7/6/2019 16:00

Today, I woke up with really sore abs; not from working out at the gym, but because I've been coughing for 3 days straight and nothing is helping. Now every time I cough, it physically hurts. FML

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By Anonymous - 28/7/2015 01:27 - United States - Orlando

Today, my brother was telling me about my "sweet" and "pure" ex-girlfriend. Three stab wounds have already proven otherwise. FML

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By buddy - 26/1/2009 14:58 - United States

Today, I woke up and it was Monday. FML

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By boobmilk - 8/3/2018 06:00 - United States - Hesperia

Today I left my 8-week-old with my brother so I could return to work. His wife took all the breast milk I'd packed out of the fridge and poured it out. According to her, it was “gross” and she didn’t want it near her food. My son is allergic to formula. FML

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By fml - 27/3/2011 01:28 - United States

Today, after 3 years at my job I received a 14% raise. I was informed I will be transitioned from hourly to salary. I will now be making $1500 LESS than I made last year. FML

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By The V Sal - 13/2/2009 18:39 - United States

Today, I was helping supervise a 5 year old's birthday party in an inflatable obstacle course. I was playing hide and seek with them. I saw the birthday boy and crept around the corner and yelled "Found you!" He peed his pants. FML

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By Girl - 17/3/2010 07:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of more than two years told me in front of all of our friends that he'd trade me for some Playstation 3 games. I laughed it off because I thought he was kidding. He made it clear that he was serious. FML

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By Not a day over 35 - 18/6/2013 13:06 - United States - Anchorage

Today, I turned 29. To celebrate, my office got me a cake that read "Happy 38th!!" The "theme" of the "party" was 'Not a day over 35!' I waited all day for someone to tell me it was all a prank, but nobody did. I spent my lunch hour crying in my car. Happy birthday to me. FML

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By chumpslolo - 25/7/2013 10:55 - United States - Vandalia

Today, my sister backed out of my wedding because it was becoming too much about me. After I begged her to reconsider, I had no choice but to pick a new bridesmaid. When my new bridesmaid posted on Facebook how excited she was, my sister commented, "See, you made HER feel special." FML

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By fmrunning - 25/3/2009 04:18 - United States

Today, I completed my 6 month training program for a track competition this weekend. I went to the park to run anyways because I needed some air after my boyfriend broke up with me. After one lap, my neighbor's 130 lb dog ran across the soccer field and jumped on me to say hi. My leg is broken. FML

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By goodeyesight - 11/10/2012 14:02 - Brazil - S?o Paulo

Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. FML

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By Anonymous - 14/4/2011 01:06 - United Kingdom

Today, I bumped into an old school friend. I'd heard she was pregnant so the first thing I did was congratulate her. Not only was she not pregnant, but the reason she managed to get so fat was because of comfort eating due to her miscarriage last month. FML

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By Amy - 1/4/2011 01:46 - United States

Today, after a huge row with my best friend at school, I hid myself away in the bathroom and quietly sobbed to myself. A kid loudly busted into the stall next to me and took a minute-long shit that sounded like a hailstorm of bullets. The putrid stench made me retch and violently throw up everywhere. FML

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By fatty - 23/9/2009 06:47 - United States

Today, my fitness trainer husband told me that if I could not make the commitment to stay thin, he could not make the commitment to stay with me. FML

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By Anonymous - 6/1/2011 22:57 - United States

Today, a kid grabbed the receiver to my cochlear implant and ran off with it. I went to a security guard, and, if my lip reading was accurate, he said to "try and make it through the day without it". Without it, I can't hear anything. FML

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By Anonymous - 8/1/2013 05:20 - United States

Today, I got into an accident on my motorcycle. When I told my wife that the doctor said I couldn't have sex for two weeks, she couldn't contain her joy. FML

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By Anonymous - 20/5/2010 11:04 - Canada

Today, I shaved my legs and pits for the first time this summer. It took 3 disposable razors and an hour to get the job done. I've clearly been single for far too long. FML

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By thickly - 19/9/2016 17:31 - United States - Fayetteville

Today, my boss had to order some more work pants since mine were worn out after 7 months. He told me the next set I would have to buy myself since they last workers about 2 years, and I must be treating them too roughly. I didn't want to admit that my thighs rubbing together ended up shredding the fabric. FML

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By Anonymous - 26/3/2016 18:02

Today, my boss tried to fire me for not emailing him a screenshot to prove my email wasn't working. FML

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By kkt - 25/4/2013 04:54 - United States - Granbury

Today, my 15-year-old brother got busted for selling pills at school. The officer said they were reddish pink, so we searched the house for that kind of pill. Turns out it was my dog's medicine from over 4 years ago. FML

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By Anonymous - 20/1/2015 00:45 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my 15 year old sister asked which animal rice comes from. She believed every word when my mum told her it's harvested from tiny cows in Asia. FML

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By tessisue - 4/1/2016 11:18 - Germany

Today, I visited the hospital with my boyfriend to have an injury checked. When the doctor removed the band-aid, my boyfriend started screaming and passed out. I had to get him out of the room using a wheelchair. The "injury" is a cut in his finger. FML

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By Anonymous - 1/6/2009 10:46 - United States

Today, three women came into my work and one was wearing a shirt with a rainbow that said, "We are everywhere". I had just gotten what it was referring to and when I greeted them I ended up saying "Hi gays!" instead of the standard "Hi guys". FML

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By Anonymous - 6/7/2017 01:00 - United Kingdom - Halstead

Today, I was on a date with my boyfriend when he suddenly got down on one knee and proposed. A waiter tripped over him and spilled our food all over him. FML

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By Tom Riddle - 19/12/2016 12:24 - Philippines

Today, I was about to go out and get some groceries, but the moment I slammed the door I realized my keys were still inside. My inner caveman instincts told me to immediately break down the door, so now I have to get a doorknob replacement instead of food. FML

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By HomelessGirl1 - 21/5/2012 05:28 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, while volunteering at a local homeless shelter, I asked the woman next to me how long she'd been homeless. She works there. FML

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By weneedthatmoneytoliveon - 26/6/2013 14:08 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I overheard my mother Skyping with her new "boyfriend" about the $1,000 she just sent him. She barely knew what internet dating was three weeks ago. FML

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By Anonymous - 10/1/2014 16:12 - United States - Shelbyville

Today, my boyfriend saw a YouTube video of a guy throwing boiling water into the cold air, with the water immediately turning to ice and vapor. He copied it, but only succeeded in dousing himself with boiling water, then making me drive his idiot self to the hospital. FML

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Top comments

By humorizer | 14

#714870 - Friday 11 December 2009 9:25

Eh, just for the heck of it, second?

Also, why didn't you lock the door before going to bed? Lucky for you it wasn't a rapist/burglar.

By spacebar1 | 0

#714868 - Friday 11 December 2009 9:23

sleeping naked FTW.

COMMENTS

By spacebar1 | 0

#714868 - Friday 11 December 2009 9:23

sleeping naked FTW.

bonertastic | 0

#714981 - Friday 11 December 2009 11:55

sounds like the beginning to every porno i have ever seen. http://myawkwardlovelife.com

deathmajestic | 0

#717301 - Sunday 13 December 2009 1:59

the true question is once you were awake

was he smiling?
was your blanket removed?
did he have a boner and and a small wet spot on his shorts?
did your ass hurt?

if you answer yes to any of these,..-
-be afraid, be very afraid

Neorecon19 | 18

#2838542 - Thursday 7 July 2011 15:32

Talk about servicing =o

Denikk | 0

#2886531 - Thursday 14 July 2011 1:08

USA? sue him

By humorizer | 14

#714870 - Friday 11 December 2009 9:25

Eh, just for the heck of it, second?

Also, why didn't you lock the door before going to bed? Lucky for you it wasn't a rapist/burglar.

spacebar1 | 0

#714875 - Friday 11 December 2009 9:26

True, how the hell did he just walk into your house?

By girlygirl666 | 0

#714885 - Friday 11 December 2009 9:37

A repairman just walks into your house, and then into your room, and then he wakes you up?? You seem to be just a little too ok with that...

Starfire22 | 5

#714898 - Friday 11 December 2009 9:49

Yea, I wouldn't be ok with that...

smurfsarwales | 9

#5121636 - Tuesday 6 November 2012 20:10

Yes, she was absolutely fine with it. That's why she posted this on FML.

By Squadoosh | 0

#714886 - Friday 11 December 2009 9:39

That would be so freaky for someone to just walk into your house, and wake you up.

He must have been really determined to change your filter. When repairmen come to my house, and I am asleep or not home, they just leave a note and leave.

By crazy_vet_tech | 10

#714890 - Friday 11 December 2009 9:43

this is kind of like what happened to me at school, my roommates let the repairmen in but didnt mention that I was upstairs sleeping and I wake up hearing the repair guys talking right outside my door...I was so thanksul that I was wearing something halfway decent...so yeah, it can happen, and it sucks when it does

By YayAmerica | 0

#714905 - Friday 11 December 2009 9:54

Bow chicka wow wow.

By containsnosoy | 0

#714906 - Friday 11 December 2009 9:54

Obviously this isn't the whole story. Putting aside it being creepy if he had just randomly walked into your room, people don't just show up without an appointment.