Today, a man wearing a Santa hat stumbled out of a bar, staggered over to my car, and vomited through the open window into my lap. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I wound up cleaning vomit out of the window track of my car at midnight, in the nicest dress I own, after my husband got completely wasted at his office Christmas party. FML
Today, my friend got drunk. He always pukes when he gets drunk, but I decided to drive him home anyway. He didn't puke the whole ride. We arrived at his house and he got out. Right as I was about to drive away he stumbled back to my car because he forgot his wallet. He grabbed it and puked on me. FML
Today, it was a warm day out so I left my car windows slightly open while I was at work. One of the local bums apparently thought this was a perfect opportunity to use my open driver's side window as a barf receptacle. FML
Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML
Today, after my work's Christmas party, everyone got so drunk that I had to help one of my only sober co-workers take everyone home and clean up vomit. FML
Today, some woman, sick with god knows what, didn’t vomit into the bin next to my car, or even just onto the floor, she lurched over to my car and vomited through my open window onto my shirt and legs, and down into the footwell. I can still smell it. FML
Today, whilst driving, I had the sudden urge to vomit. As I pulled over I wound my window down, stuck my head out, and emptied my stomach. At least I would have if I had wound down the driver's window instead of the back window. FML
Today, I attempted to make a good impression amongst new coworkers by volunteering to be the designated driver at my work party. What did that get me? A backseat full of puke and some idiot too drunk to remember where he lived. FML
Today, I was mugged by a guy in a Santa suit. FML
Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
"Ho ho hooouurrgh!"
the_zero_article 15
Sounds like someone had a few too many Christmas spirits...
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Comments (70)
christian2234 15
Why was the window open.. :O
PenguinBitch 44
Because they can.
doodlebug33 20
What are the odds of a Santa hwarfing through the window?
Ambient25 25
Yes the very strong holiday spirits that need mixers...
ironmany_fml 23
looks like someone got an early Christmas gift...
aubama_fml 15
You didn't have to wait for Santa to leave your presents under the tree
PieReaper 11
Why see you parked in front of a bar with the windows down?
AnmolArora 15
santa's gift;-)
Joedbag 8
I hope you punched him in the face!
uarudeassbitchyo 17
Looks like coal is out of date ....
ashleyhalla 21
When you saw him staggering to the car why didn't you just put the window up?
Nyarlothatep 12
And this, people, is exactly the kind of person that made me stop going to bars. They get so upset when you vomit on their lap..