Today, a man wearing a Santa hat stumbled out of a bar, staggered over to my car, and vomited through the open window into my lap. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I wound up cleaning vomit out of the window track of my car at midnight, in the nicest dress I own, after my husband got completely wasted at his office Christmas party. FML
Today, my friend got drunk. He always pukes when he gets drunk, but I decided to drive him home anyway. He didn't puke the whole ride. We arrived at his house and he got out. Right as I was about to drive away he stumbled back to my car because he forgot his wallet. He grabbed it and puked on me. FML
Today, it was a warm day out so I left my car windows slightly open while I was at work. One of the local bums apparently thought this was a perfect opportunity to use my open driver's side window as a barf receptacle. FML
Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML
Today, after my work's Christmas party, everyone got so drunk that I had to help one of my only sober co-workers take everyone home and clean up vomit. FML
Today, some woman, sick with god knows what, didn’t vomit into the bin next to my car, or even just onto the floor, she lurched over to my car and vomited through my open window onto my shirt and legs, and down into the footwell. I can still smell it. FML
Today, whilst driving, I had the sudden urge to vomit. As I pulled over I wound my window down, stuck my head out, and emptied my stomach. At least I would have if I had wound down the driver's window instead of the back window. FML
Today, I attempted to make a good impression amongst new coworkers by volunteering to be the designated driver at my work party. What did that get me? A backseat full of puke and some idiot too drunk to remember where he lived. FML
Today, I was mugged by a guy in a Santa suit. FML
Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
"Ho ho hooouurrgh!"
the_zero_article 15
Sounds like someone had a few too many Christmas spirits...
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Comments (70)
JMichael 26
Merry Christmas!
jewann123 10
Time for a kick in the balls
Ms_ValS 27
This is bloody hilarious. His logical thinking to look for a window to puke out of only went halfway there. There was another FML from the drunkard's POV years ago. Going into my favourites.
sam1507 6
That sucks! Merry Christmas!!
ceenguyenx 6
Even those that's messed up... at least he vomited on your lap not on some kid!
itzjstnx 18
Merry Christmas!!
vikky538 29
you never know what gift you might get from Santa....
xGetch 3
He must've had too much eggnog
martin8337 36
Bad Santa?
lightanddark 17
but my question is: why is your car window open? I thought that if you see a drunk guy stumble towards your car, the first thing you do is to close all your windows, not to leave them open, to make sure they don't do anything crazy to the inside of your car. And don't tell me they drive a convertible. no one drives a convertible during the winter