By TBTC - 31/08/2012 07:16 - France - Le G?vre

Today, I was out apartment hunting with my boyfriend. We visited a marvelous place that ticked all the boxes on our requirement checklist, but my boyfriend was unenthused. There was just one small detail that I hadn’t factored in: it's very badly located if ever zombies attack. FML
I agree, your life sucks 475
You deserved it 55

Top comments

That's the most important factor when looking for a place to live. How could you forget?


That's the most important factor when looking for a place to live. How could you forget?

ChrisTheCalm 9

Yes, because out of all problems and fears in our society, zombies is one of them. Terrorist? Psh, nahh he has to worry about zombies busting through his apartment.

He's just thinking about well into the future. You can't see the future and everyone once thought space travel was idiotic.

Hey. If you ain't prepping, your as good as dead, or rather undead, in this case.

In the event of a zombie apocalypse, where everything and everyone you love is gone, would you really WANT to survive?

25- In more than a few places, a zombie apocalypse is just as likely as a terrorist attack.

25- how often do terrorists come into your house...?

VIPwhenever 15

My sister once asked me where I would live if the zombie apocalypse began I said in the country with her and her boyfriend because you always see zombies in cities

Today, i saw the most delicious couple id love to eat but i have to wait for my brethren to arise an rule the world but unfortunately there choosin a hard place for me to get fml.

GoodLookingGeese 10

Probably psychiatrist costs less then looking further for other the apartment.

Turtle_rebellion 10

I don't see why people prepare for the zombie apocalypse. Everyone is far too prepared for more than maybe a few hundred people to get infected, and if it is actually an " apocalypse" then the world will end and everything will die.

Krajjan 9

111 - Little do you know us southern folk have been corralling you silly Yankees in giant mazes and digging extensive alligator-filled moats called 'bayous' under cover of darkness. My biggest concern is my neighbors drunkenly wasting all their ammo on squirrels and trying to steal mine. Commie pinko squirrel bastards.

luvlifeyolo 1

Rules for house(apartment,condo) hunting: #1) Have a place that's not to big for you (and maybe someone with you) or not to small. #2) Don't be to crammed. #3) don't over load on furniture. #4) live somewhere you'll be happy in and comfortable in. #5) LIVE SOMEWHERE ZOMBIES WON'T EAT AND/OR ATACK YOU.

DollyDope 17

Rainbow Dash speaks the truth. I am curious how the boyfriend feels any location would be safe from the likes though?

Especially now with that bathsalt or whatever it is exactly. Pretty much turning people into zombies after they use it, I mean, eating most of someone's face? I would shit myself if someone tried to eat my face off LOL

BeaterOfTheDrums 15

Really, how many times does it have to be said: the Miami "zombie" WASN'T on bath salts. The only thing in his toxicology were trace amounts of marijuana.

That dude wasn't a zombie. He was just an insane, hungry idiot. I saw the pictures on bestgore, and a zombie would have done more damage than that.

Marijuana wouldn't cause someone such aggression or manic to go out and eat someone. Weed sedates, amphetamines are what cause people to tweak out and go nuts. If there was weed in his system, there's no way it's related to his spontaneous attack on someone.

kryxen 14

Also the same factors in a zombie plague spreading (other than eating people) applies to many other thinks. From sickness to invasions.

Another problem would be the thousand other shotgun-wielding rednecks with the same idea....

depending on the Wal-Mart and type of zombie out break, I'm sure majority of Wal-Mart's are quite well off besides the front entrance. that's just my assumption.

My family has a zombie plan: lay low and wait for everyone to panic, crash their cars etc then run for the local newsagents. We would go to the top of the shop and snipe those motherfuckers! Seriously, you need to be prepared.

That plan would only buy you time and ultimately fail.

And when (notice it's not IF) you run out of ammo?

Zombies are not real. Idfc if you thumb me down. They aren't real and to the people who believe...well, they are just messed up in the head.

82- a zombie virus may not be available yet, but if someone focused their time to creating it, would it be possible to have an outbreak with our lifetime? I would have to say it's absolutely possible, especially given the advancement in technology in various types of cell manipulation/nanobots.

citymayer 7

But that's irrelevant bc zombies aren't real. Doesn't matter if they could be bc chances are they won't be for a long time.

NickPaulson 6

Has anyone kept up with the news? A divide got high and was shot 7 times before he died after eating a live mans face- he was shot, then he turned around and growled!! Does anyone remember that? Haha I'm not saying it'd be a huge apocolypse with the dead coming from graves, but a serious sickness could come. Think about it viruses are CONSTANTLY mutating.

Krajjan 9

82 - Prions, encephalitic (is that a word?) viruses, and poorly or extremely well programmed dendrimers*. We're one well-equipped biological weapons lab and a handful of very disgruntled scientists away from 28 Days/Weeks later. Or worse... the Dawn of the Dead remake. Fast AND hard to kill? Romero's been watching my nightmares again. *All reasons provided by Cracked.

I planned on making it. Once I'm done with college.

The zombie apocalypse is just a fun concept. If you're prepared for the relentless, hard to kill undead masses, you should be prepared for things like natural disasters and rioting.

EgyptianPride98 8

I'd hide in Costco 'cause it has everything. And not just everything, but everything IN BULK :P

This is not the apartment for you then! :o

Only one thing to do now... Keep searching....for new boyfriend!!!!

CoolRainbowdash 15

Then who will protect op from a zombie attack.

There will never be one... And if the slim chance it does happen, the place will just get nuked anyways...

remixedmouse 0

Based off your reaction to this FML, i can already tell you're gonna be one of the first to go when the horde rises.

32- So you're suggesting that while no country will use nukes during war, they would happily nuke their own country? Makes perfect sense.

84 harashima or how ever you spell it, bombed them japs.....also yah to save more of the world bomb the area infected...

Turtle_rebellion 10

Hiroshima happened in a different time period. Back then there weren't enough nukes to destroy the entire surface of the earth, and every first world nation wasn't ready to retaliate and kill everything.

lol, it's really getting out of hand with all these paranoid zombie apocalypse believers. I can hardly even enjoy the Zombie genre anymore, which is one of my favorites, cause of all the nuts always going on about how we have to "prepare". For God's sake, take your pills.


RedPillSucks 31

Sorry, but your comment would have been taken much more seriously had I not clicked on your profile. What's up with those eyes? It's like I'm listening to a zombie say "don't worry about a zombie apocalypse. that stuff is just nonsense. Just sit here and let me take your brain..., erm,... your mind off all that stuff"

#16 I'd take that fate with full gratitude than having to hang listen to these zombie apocalypse nuts anymore.

Oh, look at that. All the zombie nuts are thumbing down my comment. What a surprise.

12- I am not a big fan of the zombie apocalypse theory either, however I myself do not rule out anything. In my opinion, the fixation on zombies in America is perfectly normal. Most of those "paranoid zombie apocalypse believers" use the excuse of an imminent outbreak as an excuse to stock up on cool shit to survive on if ANYTHING happens. And you gotta admit, if the world was to collapse, it would be pretty cool to shoot that neighbor of yours that you hate, rather than some other shit happen like the planet blowing up.

alwaysbored13 14

I agree with you. It's fun and all but some people take it too far...

op90 6

And that's why you will be one of the first to go! Shame on you non believer lol

62- lol, I suppose that is a pretty good excuse. But for God's sake, anyone is just believing what they see in science fiction movies, that are solely meant for entertainment, as real facts and concerns and it's starting to scare me of how gullible humanity is starting to get. 106- Non believer? Well this is starting to sound like a cult.

106- Non believer? Well this is starting to sound like a cult.

Wait, WTF? People are thumbing down my comment that states I'm wearing contacts? Gotta love the internet.

Krajjan 9

See, the thing is we don't really believe that corpses are going to start rising out of the earth and arbitrarily decide brains are the ******* shit for real. However, I do believe that humans can't be trusted to not emulate fiction is some terrifying ways. A sufficiently aggressive and transmissible encephalitic virus, such as a weaponized one, and we're up to our brains in human super rabies. Prepare for zombies and you prepare for plague, famine, war, natural disaster, and indefinite self-sufficient survival. Prepare for everything but zombies and well... you're prepared for everything but zombies. We're not crazy. We just think wearing shades and shooting shit as a living for the rest of forever is cool as hell. Ramble ceased.

Krajjan 9

I just realized my previous comment was generalizing zombie nuts. To all people that actually believe a Romero brand apocalypse is coming and don't talk about it half in jest, I apologize and offer to pay any additional therapy bills directly resulting from the stress of my comment. With bath salts and PCP.

Video games are not real :) back to reality noor ;) (We friends yet) (still lonely)