Today, a girl who has had a problem with me for as long as I can remember, tagged me in a Facebook status update in which she equated my intelligence to that of a mollusk and equated my weight to that of a hippopotamus. My boyfriend, as well as several of my "friends," liked it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my friends told me that my girlfriend of over a year and a half refers to me on Facebook, Twitter and Snapchat as "the monster I can't get rid of." FML
Today, I was scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed and I noticed my boyfriend had commented on a post. It said, "Tag the hottest girl you know". Yeah, he tagged his ex. FML
Today, while bored at work I was reading an article online about the local zoo and its animals. I received an email so quickly responded, but when signing off accidentally wrote "thanks hippo" instead of "thanks heaps". To a woman with a weight problem. Who also outranks me. FML
Today, after feeling fat and ugly and a bit depressed, I logged on to Facebook to see my boyfriend had posted "I have the most beautiful girlfriend in the world!" I 'liked' it and commented "Aww thank you baby!" I logged in later to see that he commented back saying "I didn't mean you." FML
Today, my girlfriend started insulting me on Facebook. Angry and hurt, I let it all out and insulted her back with her obesity. Turns out it was her brother who used her account to play a "prank" on me. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it appropriate to let me know that doing the "duck face" in my Facebook pictures "highlights my mustache." FML
Today, my girlfriend threatened to break up with me because I don't like her Facebook statuses enough. FML
Today, I posted a picture of me without makeup on Facebook. A "friend" commented, "fuk me thts hideus!!" My dad replied, "Hideous, yes, just like your godawful spelling!" My mom yelled at my dad for agreeing with the guy, and they're still fighting. Meanwhile, my self-esteem is in the gutter. FML
Today, on Facebook, I mentioned that I'd just finished reading the novel Pet Sematary. Two hours later, I'd lost two friends and my boyfriend, after they commented "learn to spell, dumbass", "u illiterate fucker", and "well, I'm not dating you for your brains, am I?" I hate humanity. FML
Today, I found out my “boyfriend” is going out with me because he feels sorry for me. He and his friends have a group chat where they call me “Miss Piggy” and post fat jokes about me. I have a thyroid condition and hurt both my knees in an accident, so it’s really hard for me to be in shape. FML
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Top comments
tencentsakiss 19
But hippos are awesome. Be happy. Also if you are a hippo, then kill her as the mindless killing machine that you are.
Fortuitous 0
Tell the bitch to suck a chode and stop hating on Squidward.
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Comments (164)
deadman93 8
i say sit on her with ur hippo ass then sit there like the retarded mollusk. then fart n her face n laugh
sardonic 0
Dude, you just got OWNED.
urk 0
For realz yo
Shinygirlnz 1
Untag the picture, post a reasonable note on the photo pointing out how unkind it was of her to do this even if she thinks she was being funny by poking fun at you. Unfriend her from facebook and never look back. I also think you need to have a word with your boyfriend about how hurtful it was... he should have your back... and if he doesn't, you don't need him. Good luck. Act with maturity and grace and you'll come out tops.
tencentsakiss 19
There isn't a picture.
iltby 3
I don't understand why you have her on your friend's list.
OliviaChristine 0
I'm not going to rant and rave like others about how you shouldn't have people you dot like on your Facebook, because I'm pretty sure every person who has Facebook has at least one person whom they don't like. But anyways, your boyfriend and friends are clearly assholes, and it sucks to be them because you're probably not that bad of a person. but FYL, anyways because you don't deserve that kind of humiliation, no one does.
Asario 0
so your fat and stupid.... its what every girl looks for in a man
starfuryt550 3
Shes prolly doing you a favor my poking fun at you being fat. grow a pair, suck it up, start running and learn to spell. problem solved.
hhhiii 0
that just makes your boyfriend an idiot. He is after all dating you
Lucy_L 0
What a biotch. Dump your bf and get new friends. Sorry :-/
Greenpenguin999 7
ydi for being such a fatass even your friends think so.