Today, a girl who has had a problem with me for as long as I can remember, tagged me in a Facebook status update in which she equated my intelligence to that of a mollusk and equated my weight to that of a hippopotamus. My boyfriend, as well as several of my "friends," liked it. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my friends told me that my girlfriend of over a year and a half refers to me on Facebook, Twitter and Snapchat as "the monster I can't get rid of." FML
Today, I was scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed and I noticed my boyfriend had commented on a post. It said, "Tag the hottest girl you know". Yeah, he tagged his ex. FML
Today, while bored at work I was reading an article online about the local zoo and its animals. I received an email so quickly responded, but when signing off accidentally wrote "thanks hippo" instead of "thanks heaps". To a woman with a weight problem. Who also outranks me. FML
Today, after feeling fat and ugly and a bit depressed, I logged on to Facebook to see my boyfriend had posted "I have the most beautiful girlfriend in the world!" I 'liked' it and commented "Aww thank you baby!" I logged in later to see that he commented back saying "I didn't mean you." FML
Today, my girlfriend started insulting me on Facebook. Angry and hurt, I let it all out and insulted her back with her obesity. Turns out it was her brother who used her account to play a "prank" on me. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it appropriate to let me know that doing the "duck face" in my Facebook pictures "highlights my mustache." FML
Today, my girlfriend threatened to break up with me because I don't like her Facebook statuses enough. FML
Today, I posted a picture of me without makeup on Facebook. A "friend" commented, "fuk me thts hideus!!" My dad replied, "Hideous, yes, just like your godawful spelling!" My mom yelled at my dad for agreeing with the guy, and they're still fighting. Meanwhile, my self-esteem is in the gutter. FML
Today, on Facebook, I mentioned that I'd just finished reading the novel Pet Sematary. Two hours later, I'd lost two friends and my boyfriend, after they commented "learn to spell, dumbass", "u illiterate fucker", and "well, I'm not dating you for your brains, am I?" I hate humanity. FML
Today, I found out my “boyfriend” is going out with me because he feels sorry for me. He and his friends have a group chat where they call me “Miss Piggy” and post fat jokes about me. I have a thyroid condition and hurt both my knees in an accident, so it’s really hard for me to be in shape. FML
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Top comments
tencentsakiss 19
But hippos are awesome. Be happy. Also if you are a hippo, then kill her as the mindless killing machine that you are.
Fortuitous 0
Tell the bitch to suck a chode and stop hating on Squidward.
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Comments (164)
dougfancy101290 0
If she has had problems with you for as long as you can remember, why are you two friends on Facebook?
goldhighways 0
If you guys don't like each other why are you even friends on facebook
Iknoweverything 29
Delete her, and you can't be tagged so YOUR friends see it. Why is it that people are friends with people they hate anyways? Grow up, delete her, block her, whatever it takes. Just stop being a friend *****
experience333 0
you probably are a bitch or somethings so ydi
SoDorable 0
everybody getting at OP for misspelling skinnier stfu! it was an accident. OP forgot a letter obviously, like you have never done it before...and a mollusk cant spell at all so your jokes are extremely stupid. @ OP either get over it or get back at her. dont take crap from a stupid "mean" girl.
tencentsakiss 19
Are you sure that you aren't OP?
TheLetterZero 7
Proof that it was a typo or shush.
RedPillSucks 33
Did you mistype your user name? Perhaps you meant "skinner of hippos"?
PrincessRavishin 0
or perhaps: principal skinner..
isadork 0
You can't tag someone unless you're friends. You deserve it for being her friend on facebook.
LoveINKs 0
If she hates u why is she ur friend on FB anyways? Ur an idiot u totally deserved it!
Griggy 0
That's a reason to dump your boyfriend.
ImApencil 0
Cut that bitch!