Today, a girl who has had a problem with me for as long as I can remember, tagged me in a Facebook status update in which she equated my intelligence to that of a mollusk and equated my weight to that of a hippopotamus. My boyfriend, as well as several of my "friends," liked it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my friends told me that my girlfriend of over a year and a half refers to me on Facebook, Twitter and Snapchat as "the monster I can't get rid of." FML
Today, I was scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed and I noticed my boyfriend had commented on a post. It said, "Tag the hottest girl you know". Yeah, he tagged his ex. FML
Today, while bored at work I was reading an article online about the local zoo and its animals. I received an email so quickly responded, but when signing off accidentally wrote "thanks hippo" instead of "thanks heaps". To a woman with a weight problem. Who also outranks me. FML
Today, after feeling fat and ugly and a bit depressed, I logged on to Facebook to see my boyfriend had posted "I have the most beautiful girlfriend in the world!" I 'liked' it and commented "Aww thank you baby!" I logged in later to see that he commented back saying "I didn't mean you." FML
Today, my girlfriend started insulting me on Facebook. Angry and hurt, I let it all out and insulted her back with her obesity. Turns out it was her brother who used her account to play a "prank" on me. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it appropriate to let me know that doing the "duck face" in my Facebook pictures "highlights my mustache." FML
Today, my girlfriend threatened to break up with me because I don't like her Facebook statuses enough. FML
Today, I posted a picture of me without makeup on Facebook. A "friend" commented, "fuk me thts hideus!!" My dad replied, "Hideous, yes, just like your godawful spelling!" My mom yelled at my dad for agreeing with the guy, and they're still fighting. Meanwhile, my self-esteem is in the gutter. FML
Today, on Facebook, I mentioned that I'd just finished reading the novel Pet Sematary. Two hours later, I'd lost two friends and my boyfriend, after they commented "learn to spell, dumbass", "u illiterate fucker", and "well, I'm not dating you for your brains, am I?" I hate humanity. FML
Today, I found out my “boyfriend” is going out with me because he feels sorry for me. He and his friends have a group chat where they call me “Miss Piggy” and post fat jokes about me. I have a thyroid condition and hurt both my knees in an accident, so it’s really hard for me to be in shape. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
tencentsakiss 19
But hippos are awesome. Be happy. Also if you are a hippo, then kill her as the mindless killing machine that you are.
Fortuitous 0
Tell the bitch to suck a chode and stop hating on Squidward.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (164)
mightymart 5
well.. you have good friends! that chick is most probably jealous, shes the pathetic one
Demongoat 0
Step 1: Learn to take jokes lightly. Step 2: Concerned about weight? Do something. Step 3: Spell 'mollusc' correctly when talking about intellligence. Step 4: ??? Step 5: Profit. Otherwise, nice FML!
CassQuerida 0
Take a rusty crowbar and smash it into her face
honalay 0
why do u have her as a friend?
n_undefined 0
your boyfriend sucks. im sorry to say that.
DDiamonds 0
time to find a new boyfriend & friends. not cool of them
Flord 0
the eff u friends with a girl u hate on facebook anyway
cajekraze 7
And why are you Facebook friends?
iGreen_Day 0
Tell her to politely **** off and die
hkkilla 6
she should've just tagged herself in it. making drama on facebook is the best place to look pathetic. make a status update about being as stupid as Patrick star and as heavy as a whale, then tag her in it. haha :]