Today, a girl told me she couldn't text me anymore, because she was too tired and had to sleep. Over the next three hours, she updated her Facebook and Twitter accounts, and made a YouTube video of herself singing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, this girl I liked made her Facebook status "Nobody texts me anymore, message me numbers?" I commented that I texted her. She deleted it and changed it to "Nobody that I care about texts me anymore, message me numbers?" FML
Today, the woman I have been seeing said she couldn't see a future with me. This was all because I didn't text her back when I fell asleep after working a double night/morning shift. FML
Today, I was doing my nightly check of my daughter's phone since a recent stint in the psych hospital, and saw that she had fallen into a peaceful sleep to watching videos on a website dedicated to watching people die. FML
Today, a girl on my Snapchat list posted a story asking for anybody who was awake to talk to her. Me being awake, I took her up on the request. Her response? "Sorry I didn't mean you." FML
Today, my girlfriend begged me to stay up late and video chat with her because she missed me. Even though I work early mornings, I reluctantly agreed. After waiting up until 2am for her to get online, I gave up. She had fallen asleep. FML
Today, I woke up to find my girlfriend not sleeping next to me. I go to my car and found a plethora of printed screenshots of me commenting things like, “So hot babe”, “Beautiful! I’d tap that” and other compliments on my female friends’ pictures on Facebook. My girlfriend’s not picking up her phone. FML
Today, at 1am, the girl of my dreams that I've been trying for over three years to date, finally asked me out via SMS. Too bad I was asleep at the time. She now thinks I've rejected her, and will no longer speak to me. FML
Today, I spent most of the day doing a project for school. When I finished, I got a call from my project partner. She couldn't finish her part because her internet didn't work. When I finally finished everything, I went on Facebook. She was on Facebook too. FML
Today, I sent a message on Facebook to a girl I really like. She replied, "..." It took me three hours to realize she'd actually written it. I thought it was just Facebook telling me she was typing. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend I was exhausted and wanted a nap. She decided to join me, then got bored and started watching Instagram reels blasting the same five seconds of some awful Cardi B "song." She got pissed when I asked her to stop. FML
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Top comments
njgohard 16
It's over...the fat bitch just sang
fejj13r 0
That has happened to me way to often. I'm sorry OP.
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Comments (180)
XKXKKXK 10
Well bitches be crazy. Don't worry about her OP, girls like that aren't worth your time.
perdix 31
Nice stalking! Back in the day, when people had to interact with each other, it was polite to make up a "white lie" to end a conversation, rather than telling the truth that you are tedious and creepy. Anyways, she probably did all these things whacked out on Ambien.
xNiiiiiCKx 4
Maybe you should take a hint?
99megster 15
Stalker, much?! If she doesn't wanna talk to you, she doesn't wanna talk to you. Give her some space.
DeadxManxWalking 27
But she doesn't have to lie about it.
IntoTheClouds 42
How is he a stalker? For all you know, he could be friends with her on Facebook and follow her on Twitter and was on both of those, and saw her update. She also could have posted on Facebook with a link to her new video with a message along the lines of, "Check out my new video!"
fantasyworld 39
Her stuff could have been on his newsfeed.
Pandacupcakelove 26
Whenever I get rejected... Oh wait, I never get rejected.
Dracoboxer357 36
40- Then you must live one blessed life. ;P
KiddNYC1O 22
40- Are you the most interesting man in the world? (yes, I know you're a female)
brianax36 14
I remember moderating this one haha. She's not worth your time anyways! There's plenty of other girls out there for ya
sorrowsangel89 1
Umm...how closely are you following her?
mckibben 7
Too close..
Brizzle164 4
that was your question to hit up the next chick
DeadxManxWalking 27
Happened to me once. I was with my friend texting a girl and she said she was going to bed. My friend told me she was still texting him a while later.
Brizzle164 4
cue**