Love: Today, is my five year anniversary. My boyfriend said he was...

By Anonymous - 26/08/2015 07:45 - India - Kolkata

Today, is my five year anniversary. My boyfriend said he was gonna get me something shiny this year. I thought he was gonna propose. He got me a set of sparkle glue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 565

You deserved it 3 478

Love

Empathy lives

Own it

Mama's boy

By Why? - 05/11/2015 03:57 - United States - Saint Charles

Today, our dog died. My daughter was really upset about it, so my husband tried to cheer her up. "At least she will be doing something that she liked forever: Sleeping!" My daughter continued to cry for half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 588

You deserved it 1 971

By UnicornWaffles - 24/10/2016 01:38 - United States - Wooster

Today, I saw the guy I've been seeing passing by my dorm. I called out to him, but he covered his ears and crossed the street. Well, at least I have ice cream in my fridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 447

You deserved it 1 018

By shinymcface - 19/11/2018 14:00

Today, I went to the bathroom at work and there was a reed diffuser placed on the tank of the toilet. As I sat down, my hair knocked it off and the reed diffuser landed behind me, spilling the scented oil into my butt crack and vagina, burning me completely. I only had to work 6 more hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 858

You deserved it 274

By vikts - 29/05/2012 17:52 - Luxembourg - Olm

Today, I discovered that as thanks for my successful efforts to increase my company's monthly revenue, my dumbass of a boss has been awarded a pay bonus. He's wasted no time telling everyone about the sports car he's planning to buy with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 210

You deserved it 1 928

By poorman - 11/08/2014 19:54 - United States - Huntington Beach

Today, a customer came into McDonalds and placed his order. He insisted on putting each coin on the counter rather than handing them straight to me, because he doesn't like touching "poor people". FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 257

You deserved it 3 949

By jts - 20/02/2016 09:55 - United States - Asheville

Today, I had to console my bawling 6-year-old son and explain that his sister was lying when she told him that when boys in our family turn 13, they turn into girls. I'm not sure who disappoints me more right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 357

You deserved it 2 375

And now, on Judge Judy

By Anonymous - 15/10/2019 22:00

Today, I found out my roommates spent my rent money and told the landlord I never paid. I've paid my rent and theirs the past 6 months. My name's on the lease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 739

You deserved it 404

By NextTimeMom'sDriving - 11/06/2014 16:41 - Canada - Kelowna

Today, my family and I were on a road trip. Everything was fine until we discovered that my dad, the driver, was not only fast asleep, he was also snoring. We were in the middle of the highway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 511

You deserved it 4 451

By Username - 08/01/2011 07:01 - United States

Today, I got to listen to my younger brother have sex with a girl while I sat in my room playing World of Warcraft on a Friday night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 847

You deserved it 44 281

By Anonymous - 23/12/2012 15:02 - Australia

Today, I took my child to the park. Having been there an hour, another mum came up to me and we started talking. She then told me that one kid had been harassing her children, pointing to my child. When she asked which one was mine I pointed to a random kid. It was hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 576

You deserved it 51 380

By Anonymous - 03/09/2017 20:00

Today, while eating s'mores with my boyfriend's family, I misplaced my false tooth. With a team of flashlights and hurt pride, my expensive tooth was found. In dog shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 374

You deserved it 461

By Swatted - 17/02/2015 06:39 - United States - Sparks

Today, a model I've been working on for an art competition was declined. They thought I was being insensitive and "rudely glorifying 9/11". My model was about the ending scene of King Kong. I spent twenty hours on that model. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 189

You deserved it 2 922

By Anonymous - 07/12/2010 10:35 - Norway

Today, I got a phone call from a friend, who lives in the same neighbourhood as me, wondering if it was my father she saw walking a dog by her house, wearing only his boxers. It was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 855

You deserved it 2 376

By juliearis - 06/07/2013 19:45 - United States - Westport

Today, my husband received the "antique" samurai sword that he bought on Craigslist with $399.99 of our money. He only shared my outrage at the waste of money when he opened the package, only to find a toy sword along with a note saying, "HAHA, TROLLED." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 703

You deserved it 10 265

By glittercat - 26/01/2009 23:44 - United States

Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 146

You deserved it 3 303

By Anonymous - 28/07/2014 02:48 - United States - Fresno

Today, I watched a manager and a co-worker sit underneath a table in our store all day as I got yelled at for not working hard enough. I was the only one actually working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 437

You deserved it 2 783

Cover up

By atsukobo - 02/11/2020 22:59 - United States

Today, after a nasty fight with my military husband, which resulted in mandatory marriage counseling, he told me we needed to talk about the fight. Not talk it over and apologize; talk it over so our stories are consistent when we see the therapist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 292

You deserved it 154

By seriously? - 27/05/2014 22:23 - United States - Manassas

Today, I discovered that my dad still doesn't consider my career as an app developer a "real job". FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 288

You deserved it 7 719

By Anonymous - 19/09/2017 13:00

Today, my seemingly innocent younger brother showed our family a video of what he was doing last night when he skipped New Student Orientation. He's been in college all of 48 hours and he's already joined a fight club. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 178

You deserved it 284

He did not care

By Nachos4lifs - 08/11/2019 01:00

Today, after years of pretty much no sex from my long term partner, I admitted I was having dreams about sex with other people. I hoped to get a reaction from him. However, he didn't react at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 155

You deserved it 361

By WetPhone - 15/06/2009 18:10 - United States

Today, I was being pulled into a pool by my girlfriend. To avoid ruining my phone, I tossed it into one of the chairs behind me. I missed and it landed into the hot tub behind it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 525

You deserved it 11 025

By Jlhfan90 - 03/10/2012 15:34 - United States

Today, I've been a vegan for a year. It's also the day that I met my dad's new best friend, who happens to be a retired butcher. They tried to pull an intervention on me for not "being sensible" by eating meat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 799

You deserved it 18 969

By Anonymous - 06/09/2017 07:00 - United States - Eugene

Today, while showing off the sharpness of my new katana, I missed my target and hit my shoe. The strike cut into the second toe of my right foot, which then had to be amputated. Demonstration successful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 790

You deserved it 4 897

By Birthday1313 - 15/07/2019 12:10

Today, my mother learned a new expression and uses it in every sentence. Her special, new expression is "boom diggity." It's apparently "hip." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 425

You deserved it 139

By t - 17/05/2011 03:26

Today, I got a really bad cramp while I was swimming in my neighborhood pool. I started to go under until the lifeguard jumped in and saved me. I guess it would have been great, if I wasn't a fellow lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 698

You deserved it 6 135

By ontherun2012 - 14/02/2012 04:22 - United States

Today, I finally received my passport. Too bad my flight to Italy left last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 976

You deserved it 7 850

Nice

By meg - 07/02/2021 00:30

Today I got my senior pictures back from the photographer. When my boyfriend saw them, he said I look creepy. Not pretty, not beautiful, not even decent. Creepy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 740

You deserved it 110

By Anonymous - 17/10/2018 17:30

Today, I'm on holiday with my boyfriend's family for the first time. Unfortunately, I have diarrhoea and keep leaving extremely smelly farts around the house. I blame the dog every time, but I think they're catching on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 906

You deserved it 495

By Anonymous - 21/05/2009 00:11 - United States

Today, I was sitting at my college campus, there were good looking girls all around me and I was trying to catch their eye and smile, letting them know I'm available. A butterfly flew by me and I screamed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 546

You deserved it 63 471

By texasbest - 02/09/2015 02:39 - United States - Lindale

Today, at my new job, I walked into the office to hear my supervisor and HR manager talking about how, "the new guy isn't very smart, but we can get him to do the shit work for a couple weeks." Gee, thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 673

You deserved it 2 003

By naughtytwinsisters - 25/02/2011 08:27 - Philippines

Today, our boss asked us out to lunch and told us to choose wherever we wanted to eat. Thinking that she’d be paying for it, we chose a pricey seafood restaurant. When we'd eaten, she told us that we could pay her back later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 624

You deserved it 33 328

By shifala - 22/01/2015 09:02 - Philippines - Caloocan

Today, I was riding my bike to work in a hurry and hit a pothole. I flew off and hit the ground hard. I was badly shaken, but an old lady came over, checked me out and helped me to my feet. After she left the scene, I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet while "helping" me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 974

You deserved it 3 178

By Anonymous - 24/09/2010 17:06 - Canada

Today, while waiting on the platform, a blind man asked out loud for some help getting into the subway car. I helped him through the doors and into a seat. I decided to sit down as well. Twenty minutes later, I realized I was on the wrong subway line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 651

You deserved it 6 895

By lifsabtch - 06/01/2013 17:24

Today, I went out to meet a wonderful woman I'd chatted with online. I did have a few fears about if she was really just some guy trying to make a fool out of me. When I met her, she really was a girl, and was happy to see me. Problem: she was actually 13. I'm 34. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 334

You deserved it 8 792

By not my fault you’re a vapid idiot - 01/04/2019 07:00 - United States - Hesperia

Today, my coworker told everyone on staff that I’m a stuck up bitch because I stared blankly at her when she tried to talk to me. I tried to listen, but I zoned out after she rambled on endlessly about the Kardashians and Kanye West. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 294

You deserved it 197

By Anonymous - 27/10/2009 03:15 - United States

Today, at work, I realized that not everyone in the office needs to hear my explosive diarrhea through the a/c vents that interconnect through the entire building. I think an email was sent around, describing people's reactions in detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 034

You deserved it 3 033

By Username - 02/08/2011 04:43 - Australia

Today, I was in a cinema watching a movie to review in the local paper. Suddenly, the guy behind me leans in and starts whispering and hissing "Do it... Do... It. DO IT" for the rest of the movie. I'm still not sure what he wanted me to do, but he did smell of vomit and had a tea-cosy on his head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 945

You deserved it 2 733

Confinement must be great

By Lisa - 24/04/2020 05:00

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up because he won’t stop inappropriately talking to other girls on social media. We live together and have 6 months left on our apartment lease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 596

You deserved it 240

By ipaid350dollarsfornothing - 15/03/2013 07:09 - Qatar

Today, my prom dress finally arrived. My prom was yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 711

You deserved it 7 134

By notyourmom - 11/06/2013 12:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my boyfriend asked if I could grow out my pubic hair since I usually wax it. He said his mom has a full bush and he always thought it looks better that way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 630

You deserved it 7 713

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Top comments

drunkturtle 14

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Wednesday 26 August 2015 18:10

Well he didn't lie

tygerarmy 35

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Wednesday 26 August 2015 18:12

Maybe he's gonna make you a ring out of sparkle glue.

jayennachristine 23

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Wednesday 26 August 2015 18:08

If he liked it then he shoulda put a ring on it..

4WheelBurnout 14

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Wednesday 26 August 2015 20:56

You clearly do not understand the FML community

rashpimplezitz 9

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Wednesday 26 August 2015 22:40

#52 You mean the one where everyone hates everybody else?

4WheelBurnout 14

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Thursday 27 August 2015 5:15

Precisely! Fuck OUR Lives. Such a tight knit community!

Mattthechamp 11

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Friday 28 August 2015 5:59

The Ifunny community is like the exact opposite of FML. Comments that get disliked here would get lots of likes on ifunny

drunkturtle 14

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Wednesday 26 August 2015 18:10

Well he didn't lie

LilMissCanadian 22

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Wednesday 26 August 2015 23:13

Gotta look at the bright side

PePziNL 20

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Thursday 27 August 2015 1:55

*sparkly side

trollcrusher 17

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Thursday 27 August 2015 6:02

I'd like to think that he did it as a big joke, and later that evening, he actually had a ring for her. But whatever actually happened, I'm sorry you got your hopes up, OP.

illuminatzi 19

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Wednesday 26 August 2015 18:11

Maybe it's a hint for yall to 'get creative'

MrsChristine 7

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Wednesday 26 August 2015 18:11

what are you going to do with sparkle glue.??

iiTzNeeNerz 26

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Wednesday 26 August 2015 19:06

It's great for decorating purposes. Duh. Popsicle stick picture frames, anyone?

MomentoMori 23

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Wednesday 26 August 2015 19:40

Ahaha, thought I was the only one who made those! :P

howard007 18

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Wednesday 26 August 2015 21:36

Make yourself a ring out of glitter glue and spaghetti

donuts678 25

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Wednesday 26 August 2015 18:12

Use it to glue him to the toilet seat, maybe then he will realize that it's a bad present

tygerarmy 35

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Wednesday 26 August 2015 18:12

Maybe he's gonna make you a ring out of sparkle glue.

brownapple 22

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Wednesday 26 August 2015 18:46

Positive thinking, I like it!

Brandon1337 29

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Wednesday 26 August 2015 18:17

Maybe the ring is in the glue

burnthistown 20

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Wednesday 26 August 2015 18:18

That's mean. He shouldn't've gotten your hopes up like that.

KeannaLove 32

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Wednesday 26 August 2015 20:54

Something sparkly could've meant a bunch of things. OP shouldn't have assumed she was getting a ring.

pl0xs3rver 45

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Wednesday 26 August 2015 21:15

#51: OP said they have been together for five years. I'm sure a ring coming to mind would not be all that uncommon if a couple has been together that long and one makes mention of the other getting "something shiny."

DoomedGemini 37

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Wednesday 26 August 2015 22:58

Even if op didn't assume a ring, who in the world expects sparkly glue as a present? It's funny, but it's also kinda mean to get her hopes up no matter what she thought it was.

sailorsaturn10 5

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Thursday 27 August 2015 2:20

#54 They could have talked about getting married and that's why she thought it would be a ring. Granted there isn't a lot of information for us to definitely say that's why. I'm just going off experience with my fiancé.