Today, a few friends and I ran through sprinklers at our school until we were all soaked. Then we were told that they put fertilizer in the water. I'm soaked in manure. Now I know why it tasted weird. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I realized why "Stay off the grass" signs were all over campus. I cut through the grass on my way to my next class and tripped over a sprinkler head, breaking it off and soaking myself in muddy water. I had to sit through a 4-hour lecture with wet, muddy clothes. FML
Today, I was lying in a lawn chair next to my wooden fence when a yellow liquid started spraying me. The neighbor's douchebag son was peeing through the small hole in the fence and soaked me. FML
Today, I arrived at work early. I noticed the plants on the side of my classroom could use some water so I went out to do so. On the way, I found a beer can. Not wanting the kids to see it, I picked it up but some spilled on my dress. I quickly noticed a familiar smell. No, not beer. Urine. FML
Today, I was at soccer practice. The ground's keeper just aerated the field, and my teammates and I decided to throw the cylindrical clumps of dirt at each other. I got hit in the face with one. It wasn't dirt. It was a clump of wet dog poop. FML
Today, I was hanging with my friends when out of the blue, I got thirsty. Friends said there was Gatorade in the fridge. Being the trusting person I am, I took a drink, only to discover it was piss. FML
Today, as I was walking to wash my hands after using the restroom, the guy walking away from the sink flicked water from his hands towards the floor. Water splashed all over my beige shorts. I had to walk back into class looking like I'd peed my pants. FML
Today, at a party, my three friends and I thought it would be fun to urinate in a jug. We dislike the neighbours, so decided to throw the contents of the jug over the fence into their garden. It hit a tree and splashed back. I ended up covered in our piss. FML
Today, I noticed that my sweat smelled like cat food. FML
Today, I was at a music festival, watching one of my favorite bands. The security guys were throwing water into the crowd to cool us down. I saw some about to be thrown by another fan, so I stood with my mouth open to catch some of it. I ended up with a face full of hot piss. FML
Today, I was at assembly in school. My friend had a water bottle. It was a squirt bottle, and he squirted me, over and over. I got ticked off, so I took it away from him, but when I took the bottle I squeezed it and it squirted all over the people in front of me. The principal saw, and I got in trouble. FML
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Top comments
littlemissdqgirl 8
that's just gross
JesseJaymz 0
no slow motion baywatch run for yall
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Comments (150)
Pixeh_fml 0
fertilizer is not necessarily manure. in fact, it hardly ever is for commercial use. so don't freak out. and even if it was manure, so what? it's just digested grass and feed. grow a pair.
noraidk 0
I'm pretty sure that insult only works when you're using it on a male. good try though :)
pureecstasy 5
how is this an fml? ydi for being stupid
TheNewGuy03 29
tell you what. look at the bright side. the next time you go to a restaurant and order something, and you think it "tastes like shit," you can truly relate. |the kid|
bsherrod 0
fertilizer isn't necessarily going to contain animal fecal matter. in fact, in a water line, it would be much less likely. fertilizer can mean anything with the right mixture of nitrogen phosphate and other chemicals. rest assured. I know this cause I work at a farm with a water irrigation system containing fertilizer lol
Taurus_ChicKa 37
How old are you, 5? Who runs through sprinklers nowadays? That was just stupid. YDI.
stewpididiot 11
hahahahahahahahahahahahahaaha!!!!! that's funny as ****! hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! whew !!
whatsername1337 1
cool story bro
wreckem881 0
rap dungeon
mikeman3234 0
OP and everyone else who thinks manure is in sprinklers really nees to use some logic...
mikeman3234 0
needs* Anti-Flood can go die.
DOEETFORTEHLULZ 0
YDI for thinking that manure is the only kind of fertilizer.