Today, 60 guests for my wedding were supposed to arrive to the... - FML

By sadbride - 26/10/2012 03:58 - Bahamas - Nassau

Today, 60 guests for my wedding were supposed to arrive to the Bahamas. The first and only hurricane of the season decided to crash my wedding, stranding my mom, maid of honor and best man. No one will be able to attend my wedding, except the other drunken hotel guests. FML

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Everyone's an expert

British Broadcasting Corporation

Tonight, on Grey's Anatomy…

By JEalmon12 - 23/5/2019 12:00

Today, I was bored at my office, so I started flicking my pencils at my door. My boss walked in right then to give me a raise for my "outstanding" work. She scared me so much when she walked in that I flicked a pencil right at her face. FML

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By aviators - 7/4/2009 18:37 - United States

Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML

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By Anonymous - 31/1/2012 17:31 - United States

Today, my nine year old stepson overheard me telling my husband that I was almost out of my favorite shampoo, and since it was discontinued, I couldn't buy any more. He got in the shower and happily emptied the bottles down the drain. FML

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By handyjon - 1/3/2011 03:00 - United States

Today, I unclogged a toilet. With my hand. For the second time this week. FML

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By anonymous - 16/10/2014 20:53 - United States - Canton

Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML

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By Anonymous - 19/11/2009 05:16 - United States

Today, I applied some things I learned reading a "How to please a woman" book. My wife was in heaven until it was over, then she started crying and yelling about the only way I would learn those things is if I was having an affair. I explained but she doesn't believe me. FML

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By broke_otaku - 9/8/2009 04:21 - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me to sniff his armpit to see if he was the one who smelled. I did because we are that comfortable with us. After a couple of sniffs I heard laughter. I forgot I was sitting in his living room and his family was watching me the whole time. I am now the BO finder. FML

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By Anonymous - 24/9/2010 00:24 - United States

Today, I was surfing the web for Halloween costumes, and found one labeled "Extreme Girl Nerd". With the wig, the glasses, and the buck-teeth, it looked exactly like me. FML

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By Anonymous - 3/1/2011 10:29 - United States

Today, the alarm clock downstairs has been going off since 3am. The apartment belongs to two other students. They've gone home. Only 3 more days left to go. FML

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By ovawerkrd - 16/1/2011 17:30 - United Kingdom

Today, I finished working a week's overtime managing admin, stock, finances, and three members of staff. I realised that despite all my extra work, I actually earn less per hour than the students who only work on the weekends. FML

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By ENDmySUFFERING - 21/7/2016 15:25 - United Kingdom - Southampton

Today, I walked into my son's room to be attacked by a swarm of flies. I'm afraid to go back in there. FML

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By brichard22 - 12/7/2015 14:25 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I took away my 8-year-old daughter's toy for throwing it too many times. She then said, "I need a beer." FML

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By only my life - 22/4/2014 22:21 - United States - Concord

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and he was moaning a lot. My ego was quickly crushed, though, when I found out they were moans of pain due to a foot cramp. We had to stop so I could rub his foot better. FML

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By Maxx - 7/3/2010 03:56 - United States

Today, I was so bored at work that I put a zip tie on my finger just for the excitement of trying to get it off. FML

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By janesays - 24/2/2010 07:45 - United States

Today, my 2 year old had a large booger blocking his nose so I pulled it out. I was on the phone and absentmindedly rolling it around between my thumb and pointer finger. I put it in my mouth and crushed it between my teeth for a solid minute before I remembered what it was. FML

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By SkottLong - 10/3/2015 06:19 - United States - Logan

Today, I showed my father a nice sweatshirt online, hoping he would take the hint and get it for me. He did, three sizes larger than mine, for himself. FML

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By convict possibly - 26/5/2017 18:00

Today, I got to try on a stunning suit that made me the handsomest man in the world. Upcoming prom? No. Wedding? No. I attended a date... A court date. FML

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By splooge - 28/1/2009 15:12 - United States

Today, I was in bed next to the boy I loved, he had just came and passed out immediately afterwards. I reached over to look at my phone but grabbed his instead and saw a text message from his ex-girlfriend that read "I love you too." FML

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By Anonymous - 24/10/2015 16:41 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I woke up to my dog laying on the pillow next to me. When he saw that I was awake, he wagged his tail happily and then promptly sneezed in my face. FML

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By dangerousknitter - 8/10/2009 00:38 - United States

Today, in the middle of an exam, I was escorted out by the campus police due to suspicion of a concealed weapon. The officers couldn't stop laughing for 20 minutes when they found out the weapon was metal knitting needles. FML

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By Anonymous - 12/7/2013 20:27 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML

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By Lame - 10/7/2011 00:19 - United States

Today, I was robbed by a guy wearing a ninja turtle costume. FML

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By Anonymous - 19/11/2010 03:04 - United States

Today, I'm at work as a security guard. At a morgue. Why am I here? FML

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By Unsuspecting - 16/4/2016 12:23 - United States

Today, I started my period almost a week earlier than I expected to. I also happened to be at the beach with a guy that I really liked when it started. He was the one who noticed, and he informed me by saying that we couldn't go back in the water or we would be eaten by sharks. FML

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By 420curse - 5/5/2015 18:20 - United States - San Mateo

Today, I found out the "sex noises" I heard from next door last night, which I'd angrily yelled at my neighbor for, were actually from him having an uncontrollable seizure. FML

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By m - 22/8/2012 01:59 - United States - Stamford

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up. I was pretty upset, so one of my guy friends offered to comfort me and get some ice cream. Apparently his definition of "comforting" is to feel my tits and try to get me to give him head. FML

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By BigBlue - 19/3/2014 23:19 - United States - Seattle

Today, I was texting an artist friend telling her I wanted to buy her paintings; going on and on about how much I wanted it and loved the way they looked and couldn't wait to have them. I realized my phone had corrected paintings to panties. FML

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By bleeeaaaaaacccccchhhhhhhh - 21/6/2013 21:00 - United States - Washington

Today, I walked in on my grandma playing with herself. Every time I close my eyes, I see things that no mortal was ever meant to see. FML

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By Username - 2/8/2011 17:35 - United States

Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML

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By dammit_ - 16/2/2009 07:36 - Canada

Today, I walked by my roommate and his girlfriend while they were hugging. I asked "what's up lovebirds?". Turns out they were in the middle of a breakup. FML

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By Petitprof - 12/11/2010 18:23 - France

Today, someone in my class wrote "Erase me if you can!" at the very top of the board, as I am always tormented about how short I am compared to everyone else. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't reach it. I'm the teacher. FML

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By crazygirl - 15/12/2010 02:18 - Canada

Today, I went to a work party where we had a Secret Santa. I gave a nice set of beer bottles with glasses. When my name was called I naturally picked the biggest gift. I got groceries. I now have dog food and men's body spray. I don't have a boyfriend or a dog. FML

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By bl3ur0z3 - 30/9/2019 00:01

The luck of the draw

Today, my supervisor was in a leadership meeting pulling random calls for quality. Mine was chosen. He got excited and told them my stats and how I put him to shame with how I drive my team, that I'm the best and this call is going to be amazing. I was then written up for arguing with a customer. FML

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By lostintellct - 11/5/2009 04:46 - United States

Today, I had a hour long conversation with someone I apparently was friends with a few years ago. I couldn't remember who he was for the life of me, so I just played along. Finally, I told him I didn't remember him. He had the wrong number. I had a long conversation with a wrong number. FML

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By Noname - 7/1/2009 15:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I was just taking a wank with my laptop on low battery. Almost finished when my laptop died. FML

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By erjazo - 31/12/2014 21:19 - United States - Morris

Today, I was watching TV with my husband, and he started getting frisky. When the commercial break started, we started having sex. When he came, there were still two commercials left before the show resumed. FML

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By bad luck skier - 30/12/2014 20:28 - United States - Albany

Today, I went skiing. On the first run of the day, a little girl came out of nowhere and crashed into me. I was fine, but she was hurt, so I called the ski patrol. She told him that I deliberately hit her, and got me kicked out. I was there for 10 minutes. I paid for all day. FML

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By pop_rox - 30/1/2009 14:07 - United States

Today, I was riding in a carpool when we passed a church that has a shady reputation. I said "man, all those people are being brainwashed, it's a cult". The lady sitting in the back seat behind me says "I'm a member of that church". OOPS. Silence. FML

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By hayleediaz - 16/7/2015 17:03 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my boyfriend told me I looked nice in my profile picture. I began to reply "Aww, thank you!" until he sent another message saying "Mostly because your face isn't in it." FML

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By Sariitaa_fml - 18/11/2017 19:00

Today, I was in the romantic section of a book store making fun of the titles. Thinking my friend was behind me, I read in a sexy voice, “Sleeping with a Stranger” and turned to laugh only to find the 70-year-old store manager smiling and winking at me. FML

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Top comments

By zombiekitten87 | 12

#5083625 - Friday 26 October 2012 8:53

Sucks :( at least your fiancé is there...

By xlord | 27

#5083684 - Friday 26 October 2012 9:11

Gotta say, weddings are planned months in advance before these things can be foreseen.

Comments

By zombiekitten87 | 12

#5083625 - Friday 26 October 2012 8:53

Sucks :( at least your fiancé is there...

Reply

Pleonasm | 34

#5083760 - Friday 26 October 2012 10:11

Don't worry, her wedding will have a second wind.

Reply

jezane | 9

#5083797 - Friday 26 October 2012 10:46

I'm sure some good luck will blow her way :)

Reply

gc327072 | 29

#5084088 - Friday 26 October 2012 15:04

That really blows, OP.

Reply

AKGirlinSD | 20

#5084337 - Friday 26 October 2012 16:32

I'm with 1. You're still getting married. Make the best of it and maybe you guys can renew your vows in a year so everyone can celebrate together.

Reply

KaeporaGaebora | 4

#5089786 - Sunday 28 October 2012 6:53

I live in the Bahamas! Hurricane Sandy did mess a lot of stiff up though. I wonder where you were getting married.

By jackii1313 | 9

#5083637 - Friday 26 October 2012 8:56

It's mother natures way of saying hey! That sucks though, FYL! at least you're with the significant other(: that's all that really matters

Reply

rocker_chick105 | 31

#5084395 - Friday 26 October 2012 16:43

Mother Nature is one F***ed up lady then.

By berkeleyjake | 13

#5083639 - Friday 26 October 2012 8:56

Gotta say, there's a lovely technology called a weather report

Reply

xlord | 27

#5083684 - Friday 26 October 2012 9:11

Gotta say, weddings are planned months in advance before these things can be foreseen.

Reply

mrslewis | 16

#5083824 - Friday 26 October 2012 11:20

Yea but if its the beginning of the season she should know that and not plan a wedding in a hurricane zone in the hurricane season...

Reply

lilhellian | 26

#5084597 - Friday 26 October 2012 17:27

were at the end of the season

Reply

siickman | 7

#5084752 - Friday 26 October 2012 18:19

75 is right... We dont get manny hurricanes from here on out. Cold weather down south seizes a lot of the activity so i got lost when OP said the first of the season o.0

Reply

ozone9914 | 2

#5089004 - Sunday 28 October 2012 2:06

Even if you planed this out you gotta cancel the wedding cus of the weather you don't want to have a crap wedding

By SaltukBugraHan | 8

#5083643 - Friday 26 October 2012 8:57

Well, take pictures at least.

By joshszz_fml | 4

#5083644 - Friday 26 October 2012 8:57

Congratulations though. Hope the weather gets better.

By anzie_fml | 9

#5083652 - Friday 26 October 2012 9:00

Maybe this is a sign? Sorry though, I know it's supposed to be your special day. Keep your head up, it'll work out in the end.

Reply

prioo | 6

#5083798 - Friday 26 October 2012 10:48

Why would you say that? Op and his/her fiancé could and probably are perfectly happy

By LetThereBeFMLs | 10

#5083659 - Friday 26 October 2012 9:04

Mother Nature was angry because you were stealing its thunder!

By cis1den | 0

#5083663 - Friday 26 October 2012 9:05

*Hope you learn your lesson, should hav gone to Vegas like everyone else!

Reply

BRLHP | 24

#5083717 - Friday 26 October 2012 9:29

What was the lesson? Don't plan your wedding on a beautiful island?

Reply

smb12346 | 17

#5083911 - Friday 26 October 2012 12:52

Eloping and a destination wedding are two different things

Reply

AH1Zviper | 15

#5085600 - Saturday 27 October 2012 0:05

This guy is just on a monumental thumbed down streak isn't he?

Reply

cis1den | 0

#5086190 - Saturday 27 October 2012 4:40

Exactly!

Reply

AH1Zviper | 15

#5088050 - Saturday 27 October 2012 18:26

You do realize that means that's your fault? No one has liked your comments. None that I've seen.

By Classlfied | 4

#5083665 - Friday 26 October 2012 9:05

Just going to have to party for 60 then. Hope you went all inclusive!

By whiteboy896 | 9

#5083667 - Friday 26 October 2012 9:06

Shit happens, dont blame mother nature cause she'll come back stronger than before.