Today, I was applying for jobs online when my father called. When I told him what I was doing, he said in all seriousness that I should just be a sugar baby. I said he must be joking, but he replied, "Honey, if I had your tits, I'd never work a day in my life." FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, after I got turned down for yet another job, my dad glanced up at me and casually remarked that porn is always a stable market. FML
Today, I got a call from my dad asking if I was a porno actress. I am. FML
Today, I mentioned to my family that I was sad about the fact that I was thirty-five years-old, single, and had no children. My father piped up from the next room, "What man in his right would want your lopsided tits, fat thighs, and fucked-up nose in their gene pool?" FML
Today, I overheard my dad telling my mum that the only way I'm ever going to get into a relationship is if I "pose as a woman and con some gullible bastard online." He's probably right. FML
Today, I met some guys from my dad's workplace. They told him what a pretty daughter he had, to which he responded, "Nah, it's just shit-loads of makeup." FML
Today, I found out that my 50-year-old Father is the 'Sugar Daddy' to a 20-year-old. He wasted my college funds on her, which I have been dutifully saving for ever since I was 10. FML
Today, I thought my dad was finally showing interest in the business I started last year when he asked about my next event. Nope, he just wanted to know if I would hire his step-granddaughter. Her first question? "So, I won't have to do any like, real work right?" Gee, thanks Dad. FML
Today, my dad interrupted my job interview with a phone call, just to say, "I fucked your mom." No shit, dad. FML
Today, as I was leaving home for my mall kiosk job, my dad asked me where I was off to. When I said I was going to work, he tossed an empty beer bottle to the floor, belched, and said "Bah! Get a REAL job!" He's unemployed and living in my apartment. FML
Today, being jobless and all, I tried calling my dad for a job after my many years of pride. He invited me to an interview to compete against 10 people, probably more qualified than I am. FML
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Top comments
Weird_situations 13
That's a really creepy thing to say to your daughter..
RedPillSucks 31
Tell him that if he had your ****, he would be a medical marvel and a hit at the LBGT convention.
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Comments (134)
cchuckcloninger 5
Just pray that someday your parents will tell you that you were adopted. Perhaps that gene pool will have a deep end?
fckertwat 2
thats funny, but hella inappropriate coming from your dad
kmartFTW 12
Just accept the truth and apply at Hooters
brud101 8
Why 5ml not fml
sanecatlady 13
If my own father ever said that to me (which he wouldn't), I think I would...be gagging up things I ate back in 4th grade. >_<
DanielleinDC 33
I can't imagine what kind of guy would tell his daughter to become a sugar baby. That's just sick. Most fathers want better for their daughters.
blacklav3nd3r 6
Something a father should never say to his daughter... Awkward.
loserman67 35
WOW, your dad is a creeper... sorry. Now you know what he thinks about when he jerks off at night. OOPS, sorry, that's an image you'll never wash out of your mind...
figures101 5
Your going to have to post a pic for us that way we can tell if he was being ironic or genuinely creepy. (Operation big boob) underway now guys we wait...
graphicstyle7 17
Ah, you're the type of jackass we big-boobed women avoid.
rec_chem 22
Coming from your own father, that's more than a little creepy.