Today, I was applying for jobs online when my father called. When I told him what I was doing, he said in all seriousness that I should just be a sugar baby. I said he must be joking, but he replied, "Honey, if I had your tits, I'd never work a day in my life." FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, after I got turned down for yet another job, my dad glanced up at me and casually remarked that porn is always a stable market. FML
Today, I got a call from my dad asking if I was a porno actress. I am. FML
Today, I mentioned to my family that I was sad about the fact that I was thirty-five years-old, single, and had no children. My father piped up from the next room, "What man in his right would want your lopsided tits, fat thighs, and fucked-up nose in their gene pool?" FML
Today, I overheard my dad telling my mum that the only way I'm ever going to get into a relationship is if I "pose as a woman and con some gullible bastard online." He's probably right. FML
Today, I met some guys from my dad's workplace. They told him what a pretty daughter he had, to which he responded, "Nah, it's just shit-loads of makeup." FML
Today, I found out that my 50-year-old Father is the 'Sugar Daddy' to a 20-year-old. He wasted my college funds on her, which I have been dutifully saving for ever since I was 10. FML
Today, I thought my dad was finally showing interest in the business I started last year when he asked about my next event. Nope, he just wanted to know if I would hire his step-granddaughter. Her first question? "So, I won't have to do any like, real work right?" Gee, thanks Dad. FML
Today, my dad interrupted my job interview with a phone call, just to say, "I fucked your mom." No shit, dad. FML
Today, as I was leaving home for my mall kiosk job, my dad asked me where I was off to. When I said I was going to work, he tossed an empty beer bottle to the floor, belched, and said "Bah! Get a REAL job!" He's unemployed and living in my apartment. FML
Today, being jobless and all, I tried calling my dad for a job after my many years of pride. He invited me to an interview to compete against 10 people, probably more qualified than I am. FML
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Top comments
Weird_situations 13
That's a really creepy thing to say to your daughter..
RedPillSucks 31
Tell him that if he had your ****, he would be a medical marvel and a hit at the LBGT convention.
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Comments (134)
escobar07 10
So he likes your ****? Can i see them?
icepick23 12
Your dad is right. As you clearly have nice boobs, people (not just men) are going to objectify you anyway. So, when you go on job interviews, wear a push-up bra and a low-cut or even sheer top. It is better to be objectified and paid than objectified and broke. Just saying...
pike1346 3
Parents today encourage their kids to be lushes. Pitiful.
B0n351337loser 7
The pains of being sexy... It isn't easy.
Blahblah9921 4
thats creeppy
laketahoelady 4
My dad wouldn't let me even try to learn how to golf in high school because my "boobs were too big," I learned 10 years later and have placed in professional tournaments
rebaphantomhive 2
OMG you poor thing
fantasyworld 37
That's creepy for a father to say.
pedroboy419 5
Wats with the 5ML?
Cathrin 26
IIRC, FMLs posted on the site's 5th anniversary of launch end in 5ML.
mistress_paz 30
Sorry your dad is a creeper.