Intimacy: Think before you speak

Think before you speak

By Takuma - 20/05/2009 05:10 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with a few of my friends, including an old ex-girlfriend and her current boyfriend of 5 years. When my ex, whose virginity I had taken years earlier, mentioned, "I had the iPhone first," without thinking, I immediately responded, "Well, I had YOU first." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 575

You deserved it 95 182

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 10/10/2009 04:25 - United States

Today, my ex said "I love you!" for the first time at a party in front of my boyfriend. Smugly satisfied, I said "Well, you're too late for that." My ex looked at me with irritation and said "I'm talking to him!" and gestured to my boyfriend. They'd been "best friends" since middle school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 200

You deserved it 36 689

She definitely heard

By Anonymous - 09/09/2021 02:00

Today, I had to go to the mall for a quick errand. While there one of my friends who works at a phone booth was there and I stayed for a little bit chatting with him. While chatting, a girl passed by. She was so pretty that I blurted out, "What a woman!" out loud. Turns out it was my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 255

You deserved it 1 398

By anonymous - 21/11/2009 08:00 - United States

Today, I was sitting with a friend who moved back into town, and he told me about how he hooked up with a girl at a bar last night. I asked him if she was hot, he responded "Yeah, I have a picture of her on my phone." It was a picture of my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 353

You deserved it 2 904

On the fritz

By Slow brain day - 09/01/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, I handed my friend his phone, telling him he'd forgotten it. He responded by taking his phone out of his pocket and showing it to me. I then realized I was holding MY phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 494

Classy

By LAME - 23/02/2009 08:09 - United States

Today, I was at my ex-girlfriend's house, who I still have a major crush on. After cuddling as we watched a movie, she began to show me several pictures she had taken on her phone, and asked which ones I liked the best. She then sent the pictures I had chosen, to a guy she had met a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 992

You deserved it 12 730

By accidentalslut - 07/08/2009 17:09 - United States

Today, I met a hot guy at a club and we really hit it off. We went back to his place and we got down to business. After, I noticed he had an iPod Touch on his nightstand. I complimented him on it and he responded with, "Yeah, my girlfriend gave it to me as an anniversary present." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 098

You deserved it 56 178

By Anonymous - 07/12/2018 20:00 - United States - Huntsville

Today, I finally lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams, unfortunately she called me by my ex-bestfriend's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 832

You deserved it 373

By Anonymous - 16/09/2009 04:24 - United States

Today, I was having an after work-out dinner with my ex-girlfriend and we were having a great time, catching up, eating good food, all the good things. Then when I got home, I realized I just talked to my ex-girlfriend for an hour and a half about how much better her new boyfriend is than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 884

You deserved it 40 052

Friends?

By idekwtfigo - 01/05/2022 06:00

Today, I found out that the girl my boyfriend says is "just a good old friend" is actually an "ex that got away." FML

I agree, your life sucks 849

You deserved it 85

By bg4545 - 24/03/2016 03:39 - United States - Whittier

Today, for some reason that is unknown to me, I accidentally referred to my girlfriend as "my ex-girlfriend." To her face. Needless to say, my statement became true afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 455

You deserved it 18 573

brontide 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 12:05

It's your ex who should be posting here, not you.

Aelaena 6

Wednesday 20 May 2009 12:06

Woo I detect some jealousy here.

Comments

loveyababe 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 13:29

very cool. if i were the ex, i would've socked you straight in your nose but because idk him, good job on your part :)

Atropos_fml 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 13:29

I think this is kind of amazing, actually. Those kinds of things hardly ever work but you put it into a situtation where it did. Niceee, haha.

xHaniffax 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 13:47

you knew exactly what you were doing YDI

Therese_fml 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 13:47

this is fabulous and you are my hero. it's not fml but who cares? It's funny.

wh0regasm 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 13:57

haha I agree with #3 that's an ouch sorry but YDI

Andriuxa 1

Wednesday 20 May 2009 13:58

k u should not be upset cuz that was pretty epic u should have topped it off with an EAT IT! to her bf hahha

LoveToSmile101 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 13:58

Lmao that's awesome! i agree with #28 this needs an Epic Win button you have acheived Hero status:)

oilerfan943 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 14:02

That may be the funniest thing I've ever read on this site. You're my hero. /Hacks fmylife.com, installs Epic Win button, clicks 23942575543432323 times.