Today, I started work at my new job. I was excited to have been given an office of my own, but shortly after sitting down at my desk, the door across the hall opened and an unspeakably murderous stench that could've curdled milk seeped in. My office is opposite the men's room. Great. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked into my new office for the first time after receiving the promotion I've been trying for. Someone took a dump on my desk. FML
Today, after working alone in a room all day, I let a fart sneak out. Just then, my drop dead gorgeous boss and two new girls walked in. I could literally see them hit the stench and cringe. FML
Today, I was alone at the office. Having held it in all day, I let out the longest, worst-smelling fart of my life. The owner of the company, investigating the odd noise, opened my office door. When the stench hit him, he walked backwards all the way to his office, staring at me, in silence. FML
Today, I unlocked the door at work and was immediately hit with the most disgusting smell I've ever encountered. Imagine the worst fart you've ever smelled, coupled with sewerage, and mold. The windows don't open. I have the door wide open and have used a whole can of Glen 20. It has done nothing. FML
Today, my office smells like a giant turnip green fart because of a sewage leak. FML
Today, I started at my new job. Turns out my boss is a complete douchebag. He spent most of the day looking over our shoulders and making cuntish comments about our work, then called a guy a piece of shit for farting, and forced him to spray disinfectant on his chair. FML
Today, I had to train a new guy whose body odor was killing me. After he'd left, I had to run two industry size fans to blow the stench out of my office. FML
Today, I walked into the ladies' bathroom to find my male boss taking a dump with the stall door wide open. FML
Today, while on lunch break, my fat, old co-worker walked into the break-room. I managed to block out his perverted heavy breathing, but had to leave when he began emitting a terrible odor that smelled like cheesy, sweaty molding feet. I barely held onto my lunch. FML
Today, I have a new office-mate. I'm not particularly sensitive to odours but he wears so much cologne, I nearly throw up every time he walks in. Only 8 more hours till fresh air. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
aFatFuck 0
unspeakable things happen in there...
forkbrother13 0
air freshners. lots and lots of air freshners. i love you.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (107)
LizzJizz 16
Hopefully it doesnt smell like that everyday D: suckkksss
Elendil_fml 10
There's only one thing to do. Requisition the parts to build a smell proof barrier on your door. Either that or a decontamination chamber on the outside of your door to get rid of the smell.
katie72 6
Hope you get promoted to a better office, holy crap yls.
constantine91 0
You'll live. Air freshener should be a big part of your life from now on.
beveywevey 5
You should invest in febreze - maybe sneak a bottle of it into the men's room and hopefully some of them will start using it.
Deathhound 27
They must have been happy to finally found someone for that office xD
darkmis1 18
Don't offices have doors? Ones that you can close? Also: become friends with febreeze.
Shadow_Phantom 26
Maybe he's not allowed to close the door. I agree... Mmmm Febreeze. Not too much, though; some people might have asthma or such.
keshaforever1 14
Bring some Febreeze next time or if you REALLY can't stand it politely knock on their door and leave a note saying you think they shouldn't be so smelly
danielreader22 4
Ohh the irony...
aPieceOfFruit 16
Room with a view......