By moonstone15 - 06/08/2011 00:24 - United States

Today, I took my new boyfriend to a family dinner. Despite having made everyone agree to be on their best behavior, my grandma spewed obscenities such as "fuck me sideways, aren't you a catch?" and "you just can't pull ass like that at my age" throughout. FML
I agree, your life sucks 35 155
You deserved it 4 232

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Top comments

I wish my grandmother talked like that. Then I wouldn't have Bible verses thrown at me whenever I walk in the door.

Your grandma seems cool.


Your grandma seems cool.

iloveeyouuxD 9

I know right. I wish my grandma was that open lol

yeah. unless he's some hardcore Christian or something he was probably "fuck yeah!"

Your grandma is a badass be proud.

kmumma 3

Wonder what she was like in her prime:p

2ndSucks 15

Im so showing this to my grandparents.

forkbrother13 0


iluvboobies 9

OP, watch out! Your granny might vag-block you.

Op, what are you worried about? If my Gf's family complemented me like that I would have it made. Unfortunately to them, I am a piece of shit from the bowls of hell.

gideeupp 9

Haha I love grandmas like that :) Mine is usually pretty conservative til she yelled 'cunt' one day... Haha

Well I prefer a grandma like that over the racist one I have!!!!!! I told her I was dating a black guy and she flipped!!

newnew8 0

your grandma is the fucking shit. love her!

Your grandma got game!

iSitt 0

Looks like two thumbs up from the grandma

What is racism

I agree. Your grandma is awesome.

duckman9 55

that's the coolest grandma ever!

nativepimp 1

my grandma smokes weed...

At least he didn't fuck her sideways

roxas355 0


I wish my grandmother talked like that. Then I wouldn't have Bible verses thrown at me whenever I walk in the door.

Sheave 0


Maybe you need them if you want a grandmother like that?

Sounds like my grandma...

58- not really. She's just always been that way so it does get kinda old after 18 years.

boss grandma, OP

I wouldn't want to have a grandma like OPs. At all.

It's opposite day, ladies and gents!

DCFan 9

Well in that case, cool comment.

missyj0 12

I want a grandma like that! Sure, it's embarrassing. But if he's a good guy he'll laugh it off.

Especially since she apparently only had good things to say, even if they were rather saltily phrased.

@17 - Saltily Phrased. lol. Thats my sentence of the day....

It's to go with the tequila and lime she's obviously got stashed

Your grandma is winning.

Yes! OP's grandma makes me think of Benny from George Lopez.. hah.

eminemchick 19

well u know, at least she likes himxD

Hammer940 7

Best grandma ever!

Halcyon3210 6

At least it was compliments instead of insults. . .

shybear15 0

Don't worry my grandma makes fun of mine... Right infront of him... All the time :P

lopez1222 3

Id would just go along with it.. Act like your whole family has turretts.

Halcyon3210 6

They have turrets?! At least they're prepared for an invading army. :p

Hey , our abs look the same !

^ gayest comment ever lolol.

tourrhets you tard... maybe you should crack open a dr. seuss book instead of 'getting swoll' and working on your 'washboard abs' :)

optimusrhyme69 1

Double tard, it's spelled tourettes...

Halcyon3210 6

And optimusrhyme69 (hey, that rhymes) wins! Congratulations!

Triple tard, it's spelt like this: torrents

Quadruple tard? it's spelled like aikdkkrkldj

maz255 10

so then after my mother stopped beating me with the iron, she moved on and grabbed her comb (since mommy doesnt like her hair being messed up while she er-"handles" me) she straightened her hair then threw it at me at which point my nuts were in full was a tough rest of the day...

You are weird.

Is tgat an earing?