By moonstone15 - 06/08/2011 00:24 - United States

Spicy
Today, I took my new boyfriend to a family dinner. Despite having made everyone agree to be on their best behavior, my grandma spewed obscenities such as "fuck me sideways, aren't you a catch?" and "you just can't pull ass like that at my age" throughout. FML
I agree, your life sucks 35 155
You deserved it 4 232
Intimacy
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lajaynay 15
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I wish my grandmother talked like that. Then I wouldn't have Bible verses thrown at me whenever I walk in the door.

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Rickilynn1 10
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Your grandma seems cool.

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Rickilynn1 10
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Your grandma seems cool.

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iloveeyouuxD 9

I know right. I wish my grandma was that open lol

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Drigr 9
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yeah. unless he's some hardcore Christian or something he was probably "fuck yeah!"

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dakotasgirl00 2
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Your grandma is a badass be proud.

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kmumma 3

Wonder what she was like in her prime:p

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2ndSucks 15

Im so showing this to my grandparents.

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forkbrother13 0

MY GRANDMAS DEAD!!

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iluvboobies 9

OP, watch out! Your granny might vag-block you.

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The_Weirdo 10
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Op, what are you worried about? If my Gf's family complemented me like that I would have it made. Unfortunately to them, I am a piece of shit from the bowls of hell.

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gideeupp 9

Haha I love grandmas like that :) Mine is usually pretty conservative til she yelled 'cunt' one day... Haha

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samammynanny 0
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Well I prefer a grandma like that over the racist one I have!!!!!! I told her I was dating a black guy and she flipped!!

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newnew8 0

your grandma is the fucking shit. love her!

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VeroAnne 11
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Your grandma got game!

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iSitt 0

Looks like two thumbs up from the grandma

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Lucidium 0
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What is racism

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Elendil_fml 10
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I agree. Your grandma is awesome.

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duckman9 55

that's the coolest grandma ever!

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nativepimp 1

my grandma smokes weed...

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naughtia 14
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At least he didn't fuck her sideways

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roxas355 0

Lmao

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lajaynay 15
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I wish my grandmother talked like that. Then I wouldn't have Bible verses thrown at me whenever I walk in the door.

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Sheave 0

agreed.

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kilageDB 0
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Maybe you need them if you want a grandmother like that?

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ChickenInMyKitch 4
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Sounds like my grandma...

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lajaynay 15
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58- not really. She's just always been that way so it does get kinda old after 18 years.

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Maximus_Axiom 7
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boss grandma, OP

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eraintime 0
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I wouldn't want to have a grandma like OPs. At all.

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njgohard 16
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It's opposite day, ladies and gents!

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DCFan 9

Well in that case, cool comment.

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missyj0 12

I want a grandma like that! Sure, it's embarrassing. But if he's a good guy he'll laugh it off.

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goshpeople 4
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Especially since she apparently only had good things to say, even if they were rather saltily phrased.

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aPieceOfFruit 16
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@17 - Saltily Phrased. lol. Thats my sentence of the day....

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cufaoil 11
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It's to go with the tequila and lime she's obviously got stashed

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whoa_is_failz 6
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Your grandma is winning.

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DropTheDaggerxx 31
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Yes! OP's grandma makes me think of Benny from George Lopez.. hah.

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eminemchick 19

well u know, at least she likes himxD

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Hammer940 7

Best grandma ever!

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Halcyon3210 6

At least it was compliments instead of insults. . .

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shybear15 0

Don't worry my grandma makes fun of mine... Right infront of him... All the time :P

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lopez1222 3

Id would just go along with it.. Act like your whole family has turretts.

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Halcyon3210 6

They have turrets?! At least they're prepared for an invading army. :p

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Rickilynn1 10
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Hey , our abs look the same !

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marylovesyou8D 7
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^ gayest comment ever lolol.

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OceanProtection 0
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tourrhets you tard... maybe you should crack open a dr. seuss book instead of 'getting swoll' and working on your 'washboard abs' :)

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optimusrhyme69 1

Double tard, it's spelled tourettes...

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Halcyon3210 6

And optimusrhyme69 (hey, that rhymes) wins! Congratulations!

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shovels 0
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Triple tard, it's spelt like this: torrents

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ChickenInMyKitch 4
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Quadruple tard? it's spelled like aikdkkrkldj

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maz255 10

so then after my mother stopped beating me with the iron, she moved on and grabbed her comb (since mommy doesnt like her hair being messed up while she er-"handles" me) she straightened her hair then threw it at me at which point my nuts were in full view...it was a tough rest of the day...

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Jdeluxh 12
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You are weird.

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therealjb99 7
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Is tgat an earing?

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