Today, I started work at my new job. I was excited to have been given an office of my own, but shortly after sitting down at my desk, the door across the hall opened and an unspeakably murderous stench that could've curdled milk seeped in. My office is opposite the men's room. Great. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked into my new office for the first time after receiving the promotion I've been trying for. Someone took a dump on my desk. FML
Today, after working alone in a room all day, I let a fart sneak out. Just then, my drop dead gorgeous boss and two new girls walked in. I could literally see them hit the stench and cringe. FML
Today, I was alone at the office. Having held it in all day, I let out the longest, worst-smelling fart of my life. The owner of the company, investigating the odd noise, opened my office door. When the stench hit him, he walked backwards all the way to his office, staring at me, in silence. FML
Today, I unlocked the door at work and was immediately hit with the most disgusting smell I've ever encountered. Imagine the worst fart you've ever smelled, coupled with sewerage, and mold. The windows don't open. I have the door wide open and have used a whole can of Glen 20. It has done nothing. FML
Today, my office smells like a giant turnip green fart because of a sewage leak. FML
Today, I started at my new job. Turns out my boss is a complete douchebag. He spent most of the day looking over our shoulders and making cuntish comments about our work, then called a guy a piece of shit for farting, and forced him to spray disinfectant on his chair. FML
Today, I had to train a new guy whose body odor was killing me. After he'd left, I had to run two industry size fans to blow the stench out of my office. FML
Today, I walked into the ladies' bathroom to find my male boss taking a dump with the stall door wide open. FML
Today, while on lunch break, my fat, old co-worker walked into the break-room. I managed to block out his perverted heavy breathing, but had to leave when he began emitting a terrible odor that smelled like cheesy, sweaty molding feet. I barely held onto my lunch. FML
Today, I have a new office-mate. I'm not particularly sensitive to odours but he wears so much cologne, I nearly throw up every time he walks in. Only 8 more hours till fresh air. FML
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Top comments
aFatFuck 0
unspeakable things happen in there...
forkbrother13 0
air freshners. lots and lots of air freshners. i love you.
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Comments (107)
jonmansheppard 9
I love how you put that! A murderous stench that could have curdled milk! LOL
Zombie65 0
#8 said it. ..... Close the door
babygirrl 4
Put fabreeze in the bathroom AND your office.
squanmonster 8
Better than being in the closet
OhSnap_NoWay 0
Maybe your company should look into hiring a janitor if that bad of a smell comes out just from the door being opened
nikkon416 13
Atleast you have an office.
bankrupt 15
Our office has one guy whose shit stinks out the entire area and unfortunately he does drop a lot of deuces at work. We have christened him 'the bomber' and he is completely oblivious to the fact that his shit is unusually stinky and lingers and he is essentially knocking out one third of the staff whenever he takes a dump. He is a very good employee and a really nice person and obviously can't control how his shit smells or the fact that he has to move his bowels at work so here is how we resolved this issue. When 'the bomber' goes into the mens room the people with desks in the surrounding area are essentially on alert. If he opens the door and it stinks, they all have air fresheners at the ready but do not spray until he has passed by because we don't want to embarrass him. The woman who has the desk closest to the mens room has one of those plug-in fresheners that she pretty much just has going all the time, since this guy isn't the only one who takes a dump at work and she is, unfortunately, down wind.
fightingkittens 39
Seriously, that was the funniest comment anyone has ever posted here. I'm recommending it for Sirin's website.
bankrupt 15
Thanks. I think. I'm just stating the facts.
fightingkittens 39
It is thanks. The website is sirinz.org--it features horribly disgusting/true comments posted in response to FMLs.
bankrupt 15
I am honored and privileged, No. 96.
Trent_21 6
Grab a can of airwick 2in1
Ozzyjr24 6
Just close the door and shut the **** up.
Krage941 0
Thats nothin air freshners cant fix..put some on your desk and buy some fruity spray to rid the stinch