Today, I woke up to my husband slowly pulling my blanket off me. I thought he was being romantic until I realized it was because the cat had puked all over me while I was sleeping. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I turned over in my sleep and fell out of bed, face-first into a puddle of cold cat vomit that my cat had left for me. FML
Today, as I was trying to fall asleep, I was jolted awake by my oldest cat who'd decided it would be perfect to power-puke all over my bed. FML
Today, I was woken up by my cat, who normally doesn't bother me in the morning, meowing desperately and trying to get me to wake up. Fearing that something was very wrong, I jumped out of bed. He gestured for me to follow him, so I did. I followed him all the way to the kitchen, where he proceeded to puke. FML
Today, at 6 am, I was suddenly jerked from the warm embraces of sleep by the smell of poo. I was very groggy and confused when my hand landed in something wet and cold. I turned on the light and was horrified to find that my kitten took a huge dump in my bed. It was everywhere. FML
Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML
Today, as I crawled into bed and hid under my blanket, I was hit with a very strong and familiar smell. The smell of piss. My cat had peed all over my only blanket. Guess I'll sleep under the mattress. FML
Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML
Today, I woke up and realized I was soaked. The night before, I'd felt cramps so I was convinced it was my period… until I realized that my cat had marked his territory on me. All my sheets and blankets had to be removed. Yup, soaked right through! FML
Today, I finally got myself settled into bed around 2 in the morning after a very long day. My cat started to snuggle with me when I smelled something disgusting. Turns out my cat sharted in my bed. FML
Today, while I was trying to get to sleep, I heard a strange noise coming from the bunk bed above mine. I looked up to see what it was and my cat vomited over the edge, onto my face. FML
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Top comments
BelieveMeItsTrue 0
Well at least your husband was nice enough to try and clean it up before you saw it cause you know what they say what you don't know can't hurt cha
f_alltheirlives 3
Theres few things I find more romantic than trying to remove cat puke from your partner without him/her knowing about it. Honestly
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Comments (108)
CelloNerd 0
ow
electricman97 0
how is that "ow"
xWTF_FML_FTWx 1
apparently that must of hurt considering what #1 said.
KingDingALing 9
Hahahahaha, love your pic #35.
starile 20
#1 just wanted to be first, so they wrote a completely irrelevant one-word comment. So dang, OP that cat vomit must've HURT! Hope it didn't leave any bruises or anything. I have no idea how you could've slept through that pummeling. Freaking cat.
skittle68 0
What happened to all the your picture comments??? that was hilarious!
bean_dip21 0
Well, atleast the cat loves you. Stop bitching :)
johanestrella 0
could be worst
YupImBack 0
Ok? so what. Man up!
loshysucks 0
that person on ur pic iz an actor . hes from kuwait lolz
WhyTheFace4 0
That text from your pic is Times New Roman?
ILovesMahBridge 0
The scorpion in your pic has a giant penis growing out of its back.
KingDingALing 9
The hair on your troll's head is pubic hair...
sicpupyz122 0
That fence in your picture need to be painted really badly.
KingDingALing 9
The Cartman in your picture should not be black...
LightningLadyy 0
That iPod in your picture needs to be an iPhone.
KingDingALing 9
That shirt in your pic needs to be darker...
guiltypleasure12 0
those dogs in your picture need to be tested for STD's.
lolfylanydi 0
your balls need to be bigger... see what I did there?
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
That circle in your pic has a negative attitude.
Person000 0
that rat is totally banging that other rat^
kittehkat87 4
The circle in your picture is denying your access....
KingDingALing 9
Those words in your picture need to be blue
skittle68 0
That shaggy dog in your picture needs to try the other end some time.
Ionic 0
(Taken it upon myself to start this back up.) The person jumping off of that cliff is ******* crazy.
ladykat 0
that alien head is really shiny!!!
makemeasandwich 0
that duckface in your picture should be replaced with a smile
YupImBack 0
The fence in your picture is to small.
icemachine44 0
Discusting :D It happened to me too but i wasnt in bad and i dont have a husband ;)
Hummbinger 5
Disgusting*
KingDingALing 9
*wasn't *bed *don't
MrPhucked 0
stupid grammer Nazis
LightningLadyy 0
They won't have a job if you all just used correct grammar :)
LeoFML 1
Forgot too end your sentence with a period. -1 point.
MetalFish 0
calling it a period when it's called a 'full stop' -1 point xD I never understood why Americans call it a period... a period is a length of time... not a punctuation mark.
starberries 0
There are differences in language from country to country. Will you please get the **** over it.
roaminginsomniac 0
That's Nasty. first, how does that NOT wake you up? I sleep with a chihuahua, and she moves often. So, you must be a darn hard sleeper.
starile 20
Yeah, cats have ninja barfing skills.
Annihilator 0
YDI for leaving the room door open and for having a sick cat!
Bathory_fml 0
Cats can throw up a lot even when they aren't sick. Pro-tip: Hairballs aren't always ball shaped.
Annihilator 0
I'll agree with you on this one.
BelieveMeItsTrue 0
Well at least your husband was nice enough to try and clean it up before you saw it cause you know what they say what you don't know can't hurt cha
smerry 3
i hate catz only like kittens and little dogs
theannak 7
Soooo what. You're gonna be the kitten lady instead of the cat lady? What happens when they grow up and you've bonded with all 40? Trade them in for a new set of kittens? Oh and you're little rat dog...I'm betting it will be a yapper.
unmadebed 0
Kitty was giving you a present=]
WhyTheFace4 0
Bleh... Gross.