Today, I went to a restaurant for lunch. I began to eat when I noticed a blond hair in my food. When that happened, I went up to the counter and began complaining about their hygiene. When the manager insisted no one that works there had long blond hair, I realized that it was my hair. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I work at a food joint as a chef, and a customer found a long strand of hair in her food. The manager blamed me, even though I'm bald. FML
Today, I went out for dinner with some friends to a new restaurant. As I was finishing the soup, I noticed a small curly hair at the bottom of the soup. The chef is bald. FML
Today, a customer came in to the Pizza store where I work and complained that the food they had purchased had a strand of black hair in it. After some deliberation, my boss decided to fire me. He is the only staff member there with black hair. I shaved my hair 2 weeks ago. FML
Today, I came back to my dormitory after a long shift at work. After using the toilet, I looked at myself in the mirror, only to find a huge piece of food stuck between my front teeth. I work at one of the fanciest restaurants in town; nobody bothered to tell me anything. FML
Today, while at a restaurant, I watched in horror as my daughter picked a hair out of her food and continued eating it. FML
Today, I went to get a haircut. I have a pretty bad case of dandruff, so whenever I get one, a lot of it shows. My hairstylist called to her nearby friend twice, then looked at my hair and said, "Blech" under her breath. I got glares when I walked out. FML
Today, working at a fast food restaurant, I saw a woman in her late thirties pull out some hair and put it in her food, then threaten to sue me and the restaurant. She also told me no one would believe me, a teenager, when I told her I saw her put it there. FML
Today, I'm broke and just started working in a restaurant at a luxury hotel. On my first day, the director had told me to get rid of my blue dyed hair. Back at work with a new fresh 57€ cut and no blue in sight, he saw me. I have some blonde streaks in the back, and if I don't get rid of them within a week, I'm fired. FML
Today, I was so excited that my favorite local spot reopened, I couldn’t wait to go there for lunch. Unfortunately, my waiter’s shirt was so caked with thick smelly cat hair, it sent me into an immediate allergy attack. Not only did I not get to eat my food, the manager refused to give me a refund. FML
Today, one of the human-shaped piles of shit my restaurant serves found a hair in her food. Normally, these fuckwits piss and moan and demand free food, but this sack of filth turned out to be such a drama queen that she puked all over the table and cried so hard she needed an ambulance. FML
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Top comments
doritoman 0
well, its understandable. you ARE blonde...
lifeinhd 3
So there's a redhead, a brunette, and a blonde....
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Comments (140)
movies12 0
Lol. I have a friend who is blonde, and whenever she does something stupid she goes "I just had a blonde moment" I die of laughter. Yah next time always make sure it's not yours. I was about to do the exact same thing till my mom noticed it was mine.
Vaetrus 0
Phailz.
MadeOfAwesome 1
Dumb blonde jokes, anyone? :D
murderofcrows 0
Plexico thinks having sex with kids is okay! Ask him for his real name, he's a sex offender! FML why are you allowing him on a site where kids commonly go?!
litthenewman386 0
really you couldent have looked at the color of the servers hair big fail on your part
fmlsuck 0
stop whining
disney_blonde 16
90% of the time, hair in your food is your own since most restaurants require kitchen staff to wear hearnets and hats and servers to tie hair back.
Zapzip2013 0
you racist foo
omigawdd 0
wowwwwwwwww OP u know that ur kind of a ******* idiot x) and ppl who spazz about dumb blonde jokes its just a joke doesnt really matter but its true alot of girls that go to the mall and only think about fashion and hair etc are blonde and i am NOT saying all blondes are like that ( i am a natural blonde myself)
69_jackson_69 0
Oh you are a blonde? I wouldn't have noticed by your incredible use of punctuation throughout the comment you made.
IOwnedYou 0
That would make the perfect joke.