Money: Thanks, I hate it!

Thanks, I hate it!

By JacksWag4 - 16/08/2013 22:21 - United States - Romulus

Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's last will and testament. My parents, as well as my brothers and sister, all inherited a nice sum of money. I got 69 cents, because, "young Jack always was an immature little shit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 479

You deserved it 21 600

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Same thing different taste

By grandson of a p.o.s. - 14/03/2013 22:04 - United States - Somers

Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's will. I didn't expect to receive anything, since his side of the family had always ostracized me for being born out of wedlock. I did get something: $3,500, on the binding condition that I use a portion of it to get a vasectomy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 144

You deserved it 2 972

Epic prank bro

By Rachel - 20/07/2012 05:13 - United States

Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 930

You deserved it 3 582

By TSampson - 11/06/2009 11:51 - United States

Today, my mom's will was read to the rest of the family. I helped my mom write it a couple years ago, and I was to get funds to pay off school loans. She revised it and put in a note saying I was to get nothing because I was "lazy." The executor read it out loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110 098

You deserved it 11 305

By Anonymous - 06/01/2013 21:35 - Sweden - Staffanstorp

Today, at the reading of my mother's last will and testament, I found out that despite having cared for her for the final years of her life, she denied me an inheritance. She basically said I'm an embarrassment, because when she wrote it, I was 31 years old, with no wife or children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 235

You deserved it 2 390

The golden child

By Anonymous - 25/07/2022 12:00

Today, at lunch with my mother, she disclosed that she made some changes to her will. Instead of the previous even split to all siblings, 90% of the sizable estate will now go to my brother. He has already been living off my mother's property for the last 10 years, and reaping the benefits of being expense free. FML

I agree, your life sucks 986

You deserved it 122

By Anonymous - 28/07/2012 22:15 - United Kingdom - Warwick

Today, my grandpa told my mom that he needs to rewrite his will soon. I jokingly said that I was going to be stinking rich when he passes away. He retorted that he's never forgiven me for rear-ending his car six years ago, and because of this, I'll never see a penny of his money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 262

You deserved it 34 077

By BenjiFurImmer - 12/06/2019 00:07

Today, I found out that when my uncle died, he left me and the rest of my family £2000 each. Only my parents kept and spent my share on themselves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 389

You deserved it 122

By Anonymous - 22/06/2014 20:06 - United Kingdom - Basingstoke

Today, I was at the reading of my grandma's will. Apparently I was removed from it some time ago, and the £2,500 I would have gotten went to my cheating bitch of an ex-fiancée. It seems my grandma adored her, and never forgave me for "driving her away" from the family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 131

You deserved it 5 230

Vultures circling overhead

By Anonymous - 07/08/2023 16:00

Today, I inherited several buttloads of money from my grandmother, including property, and by gosh did so many relatives appear from the woodwork to remind me of money granny owed them, or how they just needed an investment to kickstart their business venture. The whole lot of them can screw off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 192

You deserved it 90

Free money for me, but not for thee

By Anonymous - 04/08/2020 14:01

Today, my dad refuses to let me inherit all of his money, which might just put a roof over my head when I’m older. *His* money? Well, actually, he inherited it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 222

You deserved it 909

pistachiopanda 19

Saturday 17 August 2013 5:28

Didn't leave you with jack shit...

georgeee97 9

Saturday 17 August 2013 5:27

Dang man that sucks. Maybe you shoulda been nicer too your old grandpa :/

Comments

Slawter16 24

Saturday 17 August 2013 13:25

I like his sense of humour. That sucks though, OP, but I hope you managed not to laugh out loud when they read 69...

King_paradox 22

Saturday 17 August 2013 13:29

Always bring a pen, and a copy presigned

Valle79 5

Saturday 17 August 2013 13:33

Well, maybe now you'll stop being an immature little shit?

goliatron 9

Saturday 17 August 2013 15:12

You must be one, with "swag" in your username!

olpally 32

Saturday 17 August 2013 15:26

He's dead, you're alive. I think you win this one anyways.

heyheynow 12

Saturday 17 August 2013 16:57

haha im going to leave $1 to be split evenly amongst my family and give the rest to my cat.

xJebu 8

Saturday 17 August 2013 17:45

Irony!

HeartOfLead 24

Saturday 17 August 2013 18:26

"All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy." You were just enjoying your youth and being able to mess around.

dencti 4

Saturday 17 August 2013 19:07

Ahem - that's CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow...

Flashman9000 9

Saturday 17 August 2013 19:34

Have you tried not being a little shit?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my parents used to tell that me life gets way better after high school. Yeah, for everyone else at my school. They’re partying it up in college or travelling during gap years, meeting all sorts of people. I have to work more than full time because my parents kicked me out the week after I graduated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 462

You deserved it 95

Today, a person I've never met called me a whore and spat on me. Why? Because I was babysitting for my neighbors and answered the door for two well dressed women passing out religious pamphlets. I politely declined to take any. Apparently being a 15 year-old girl caring for a toddler makes me a sex worker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 564

You deserved it 61

The Top

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 760

You deserved it 2 887

Today, I realised that unless I masturbate about an hour before sex, sex lasts less than 20 seconds, but even after masturbating I’m still lucky to last a single minute. I don’t know how to stop disappointing her, and she’s my first serious girlfriend. I’m pathetic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 162

You deserved it 512

Today, I tried to fix my laptop charger by fiddling around with it using metal tweezers. Not only did I forget to unplug the cord and shocked myself, I also ended up breaking the charger completely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 895

You deserved it 51 019

Today, I was at work at McDonald's, at the front counter when an elderly lady came up to me and whispered, "I just shit everywhere in your restroom," then turned around and walked out the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 746

You deserved it 123

Today, my 16 yr old cousin needed help making a job resume so I give him mine to see as an example. He changed my name to his and it got him a job right away. The sad part? I handed my resume out to about 30 places and I am still unemployed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 972

You deserved it 4 348

Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house for dinner. Her parents seemed upset, so I tried to lighten the mood by saying, "Hey, at least the weekend is coming up and you guys won't have to go to work." Apparently, they were upset because they both got laid off from their jobs today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 651

You deserved it 8 459