Money and Miscellaneous: Taking the piss

Taking the piss

By Anonymous - 18/04/2009 05:09 - United States

Today, I drove past a firehouse that had volunteer firemen taking collections. I take out a $20 and start to roll the window down when I remember my window was broken. I ended up driving by, holding the $20 against the window, staring at the fireman. Now the fireman thinks I was taunting him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 843

You deserved it 17 114

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 17/04/2009 06:12 - United States

Today, I forgot to take my wallet off the roof of my car and drove away, onto the highway. A man behind me began flashing his lights and waving his arms. I thought he was freaking out because I cut him off. I flipped him off. He was trying to tell me that all my money was flying down the road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 700

You deserved it 84 815

By carson28 - 17/12/2010 02:23 - United States

Today, I saw a homeless man on the corner, I thought I would be generous and give him some cash. I rolled down my window and waved my hand for him to come over. As he was walking over, he was struck by another car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 226

You deserved it 6 352

By TheIrony - 19/07/2016 21:50 - United States

Today, while driving I saw a police car riding along next to me. Thinking about the news recently, I decided to give him a quick thumbs up and a smile to lighten up his day. He looks back, smiles, flips on his siren, and pulls me over for not paying attention to the road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 182

You deserved it 3 543

Hogs gone wild

By NotoriousSRJ - 28/01/2011 15:43 - Canada

Today, I got pulled over by a cop. Since my window wasn't working, I opened the door, causing him to run towards me with a drawn gun. He then had a go at me with his night stick. After realizing my window was broken, he laughed and let me off with a warning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 301

You deserved it 4 339

By Username - 04/12/2010 21:04 - United States

Today, I gave my friend a ride to town so she wouldn't have to pay the $10 to park. While waiting to pick her up, I grabbed a bite to eat. Upon returning to my car, I found a $55 parking ticket on my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 095

You deserved it 28 247

Honesty doesn't pay

By Hayls5 - 04/07/2009 02:19 - United States

Today, I was driving with a friend when we saw a wallet in the middle of his neighborhood road. When we picked it up, we saw it was loaded with cash. We drove to the man's house to return the wallet, and when we handed it to him he told us, "I would give you a reward but I don't have any cash." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 257

You deserved it 6 030

Emotional rollercoaster

By ehcanadianeh - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Canada - Toronto

Today, I found $20 under my car seat, so I put it in the cup holder, only for it to fly out of the window while going down the highway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 001

You deserved it 12 360

By Anonymous - 02/04/2012 16:17 - Canada

Today, a guy in a fancy car tailed me for twenty minutes, just so he could take a picture of my license plate and tell me there's a $300 fine for flicking cigarette ashes out your window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 956

You deserved it 31 585

By pinkrazrgirl247 - 03/07/2009 06:29 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street, when a man behind me tapped me on the shoulder. He gave a $5 bill and said that he thought I had dropped it. Not having the integrity to turn him down, I took it. I spent the next 20 minutes being chased by a crazy hobo who claimed that it was his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 437

You deserved it 52 216

By Anonymous - 15/12/2010 05:48 - United States

Today, I couldn't get into my car. In an attempt to get in, I broke a window. As I climbed in, the actual owner of the car walked up. Mine was across the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 435

You deserved it 46 318

Alex_DeLarge 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 12:04

Why didn't you just stop?

GameRater01 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 12:05

You could have stopped, cracked the door open and handed it to him

Comments

Gryphon 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 12:04

Haha genius!!

tobyraza 0

Monday 8 February 2010 3:44

Does anyone realize that he had to be driving on the left side of the road to be pressing a bill against the window?

luda111b 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 0:24

they stand in the center of the road taking donations, so it's possible.

kscott88 0

Sunday 4 April 2010 10:09

That's definitely not true. They can stand in the middle, like on a medium or something. Happens all the time.

hellokittywhore 0

Friday 13 August 2010 13:18

well that sucks!! lol he's probably going to light your house on fire.

Rowdey 10

Thursday 24 May 2012 3:06

Median*

tifdunc 14

Monday 10 March 2014 20:31

Use the money to fix your window

Alex_DeLarge 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 12:04

Why didn't you just stop?

sheehan35 2

Sunday 31 October 2010 14:34

lol exactly

bubbly31 0

Monday 1 August 2011 15:55

or open your door a little and drop it in

Inkay 13

Saturday 15 March 2014 20:03

More than likely they were standing at a stop light and the light was green

JBiz_fml 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 12:05

Well that sucks , FYL

GameRater01 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 12:05

You could have stopped, cracked the door open and handed it to him

Poepiepiesie 3

Sunday 21 November 2010 15:18

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

calppp 12

Sunday 22 June 2014 10:36

120, Your comment gave me cancer.

youaresofucked 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 12:07

haha They aren't gonna come if/when your house catches fire now!

cucuto89 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 12:12

why the hell did you not stop the car and open the door?

Kylaka 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 12:13

Hehehe, that's funny. Why didn't you stop your car like #4 did? Because now you ARE taunting the dude. NO TREATS FOR YOU

Rockey 3

Saturday 18 April 2009 12:13

lmao imagine if it was for a homeless shelter.

Mattardz 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 12:24

Unless, of course, you secretly wanted to taunt him.... open the door.

Snerkie 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 12:26

yeah...just open the door, you're an asshole for not bothering to do that.

Keywords

Love Christmas Break-ups Miscellaneous Poopoo peepee Gross Argument Ironic Friends Awkward Haircut Cute Relatable You're fired Work Cars Covid Health Cheating Jealousy Parenting Kids Family DIY Cats Roommate Sex Am I overreacting? Intimacy Management

The Top

Today, I was driving without my seatbelt on, when I noticed a police car approaching. I panicked and desperately fumbled around for my seatbelt, only for them to pass by with just a funny look. Then it hit me that I was riding my motorcycle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 551

You deserved it 49 635

Today, I realized I’ve been saying “a whole nother” instead of “a whole other” my entire life. It wasn’t until my friend pointed it out with a smirk I’ve been speaking in an alternate universe. He was also the one to point out last year that my use of "like" every three words was "annoying and cringe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 433

The Top

Today, I decided to take a relaxing shower. My face mask made my face break out in hives. While exfoliating, my nipples became chafed. Then I slipped and cut myself while shaving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 691

You deserved it 352

Today, my mom called and told me I got accepted to my first-choice college. I got really excited and asked her to read me the letter. As she started to read it, she said, "Oops... uh, nevermind." FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 501

You deserved it 3 149

Today, I went to the gym with two of my friends expecting to pay a guest fee but the cute guy working at the front desk let me in for free. On the way out after working out I started to flirt with him and he said, "Don't flatter yourself, I just let you in because I'm lazy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 716

You deserved it 16 745

Today, my 4 year old son excitedly asked me if he'd get to see drones at the zoo. He apparently thinks drones are living creatures. I guess I can go ahead and spend his college savings on shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 678

You deserved it 1 363

Today, my wife and I were getting intimate. I wanted to make it last longer, so I tried thinking of something else. Suddenly she says, "What are you thinking?" I reply, "Dead puppies." This apparently turned her off more than it did me, because she got out of the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 211

You deserved it 31 193

Today, I was so bored that I began searching for videos of people popping their pimples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 112

You deserved it 41 648

Taking the piss

Same thing different taste

Hogs gone wild

Honesty doesn't pay

Emotional rollercoaster

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