By katerina - 29/11/2013 22:27 - United Kingdom
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But there's always a chance she'd just haphazardly plunge into a relationship to "prove them wrong." That would be more detrimental in the long run, for her self-esteem and for proving anything. If she's in the wrong relationship, it's worse than being alone. She should wait as long as it takes to find a great person, I wish more people were like OP.
These people are so right, don't jump into anything until you're ready. After my first true relationship bombed after 2 years of being together, I went 3 years single. I thought there would never be someone for me after I lost my first true love. You need to know yourself before you get to know anyone else. There's a lot of people that can't stand to be alone and always need a boyfriend/girlfriend. Those people think they need someone else because they don't truly love themselves. They're always looking for that missing piece, not fully realizing they had it all along. Being single gives you the chance to learn a lot about you, and that, OP, is what's important. I've finally found the the girl of my dreams all because I wouldn't settle for anything less. I learned who I am and I learned what I wanted. You should never have to settle or deal with anything lesser than what you know for fact of what you want and what makes YOU happy. People like your parents seem to not realize that you should not begin a relationship until you are ready. And until you are ready, you'll never be happy with someone else. We all deserve happiness, and one day it'll come. Fuck everyone else, be you, learn you, and love YOU. You can not truly love someone until you love yourself.
Haha it does tug on thee ol' heart strings. I'm just speaking from personal experience. If you don't know or love yourself, you'll never be in a working relationship. You'll be searching for something you'd never come to realize you already have. There's nothing wrong with being in a relationship, nor is there anything wrong with being by yourself. Both are learning experiences. And I know because of my lost love that you'll actually become not necessarily a better person, but more of a complete person. There's no harder obstacle than love. But love can come in many, many shapes and forms. Until you are a complete loving person to your own self, mind and body, you will not find happiness in anyone else. You're acting on lust, or you're acting on something much more worse than lust, you're seeking acceptance from others. We don't need to be accepted by anyone but ourselves. There is no right way, and there is no wrong way. Yes, there are morals and principals that make us who we are, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't break free of your own principals in the search for yourself. I know, I'm going all Gondi on you guys, this is just something I feel strongly about as well all should. Accepting yourself is key to true contentment. You should not seek acceptance from the world, only by yourself. Now if you guys agree with me please seen me 9.95 by the order of PayPal and I shall show you what true enlightenment is, and how YOU can achieve it! Haha, it was getting pretty heavy so I figured I'd end on a lighter note. But seriously guys I'm broke, don't be afraid to send me your left overs from thanksgiving! Especially the pies. Mmm.. Pumpkin pie..
McFeeli, I really relate to your story here. At seventeen (what a dummy) I thought I had met my soul mate. He, as far as I went, was perfection. Turned out after a few arguments he got fed up and cheated on me with my best friend and got her pregnant. I learned a valuable lesson, I trusted too easily and that was a trait I had needed to work on in myself. Six years later, I am happy, married to my true soul mate (for three years!!), and most of all, I know who I am. To this day the betrayal still hurts, but being single led me to knowing myself and what I want. Sorry for the long response lol :)
I understand how that would be painful to overhear. If they were saying it in front of you, I'm sure you'd be able to just brush it off as lighthearted teasing, but if you are already self-conscious about the fact that you haven't been in a relationship, hearing people gossip about it behind your back must be pretty brutal. I'd just say take your time, and when the time comes, make sure you're dating someone kind-hearted who likes you and respects you. Then you won't have to worry about those negative comments. There's someone out there for everyone!