Today, I was getting a spray tan and realized I didn't have a hair tie, so I used a thong instead. I lost track of time and realized I needed to go pick up my daughter. I threw on my clothes, drove to pick her up, went to the store, and went for ice cream... thong still in my hair. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at a water park with my family. They wanted me to stand underneath this big bucket filled with water. I didn't know it tips over, and my swimsuit isn't the tightest, so when all the water fell down, my swimsuit bottoms fell to my knees in front of tons of kids. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job Mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML
Today, I was sitting on the toilet, pregnant as ever, and really sick. I asked my fiancé to bring me a pair of clean underwear. He did so and brought me some lacy underwear. They weren't mine. FML
Today, I rode my bike to work. Once there, I realized I'd forgotten my bike lock. For fear of it being stolen, I quickly rode home and took my car instead. When I later got home, I realized my bike was missing. Someone stole it from my backyard. FML
Today, I was walking back home from a party, when I received an email from our neighborhood watch. It said to beware, because a "thug-like" stranger with a white shirt and brown hair had entered the neighborhood. My hair is indeed brown and I was wearing a white shirt. FML
Today, I accidentally set my hair on fire while lighting a cigarette. I panicked and put it out by slapping myself in the face. FML
Today, anticipating another stressful day of work, I left my house with a cluster of thoughts in my mind. It was only when I heard my front door lock behind me, my hand still resting on the handle, that I realised I had forgotten my house keys. FML
Today, I accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to take my bra off. FML
Today, I was at work laminating a large photo. While I was doing this, I had a sudden itch on my nut sack. So I quickly scratched it away. When the customer came to pick up the print, I noticed that one of my pubic hairs had laminated itself on the cheek of the woman in the photograph. FML
Today, I had been sick all day, so to cheer me up my dad drove me to get ice cream. On our way back, we hit a puppy. FML
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Top comments
Nordah 15
You lost me at "spray tan".
DocBastard 40
If I had a nickel for every time I left my underwear in my hair...
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Comments (120)
perdix 31
People probably didn't realize what it was . . . unless there were skid marks.
flea_of_death 23
I'm curious where you got the thong. Were you wearing it when you originally went out? If so, how did you not notice you didn't have underwear on? But if that wasn't the case, why was there a random thong just sitting around? So many questions in my mind...
iWantSprite 12
you read my mind
kiwienne 21
#37 - So if she was at home, it totally makes sense she didn't have a hair tie in her own house? Could've just as easily been the case that she was at some clinic, undressing and used her thong/spare thong for her hair
morella_xx 29
Exactly what I wondered. Who carries a spare pair of undies but not a spare hair tie? At least I hope it was an extra pair and not the pair she wore there. Gross.
PenguinBitch 44
So you're the "leather couch" people are talking about?
OhhKristin 11
let me guess...you used to be on Teen Mom.
MaxG123 8
Spray tan, and a thong.. Real classy.
razzledazzle21 23
Excuse me, nothing is wrong with a thong! They're actually better than regular undies, no panty lines or wedgies :)
ByronJess 17
Thongs are notorious for wedgies...
mackischillin 5
I haven't heard that one before shitforbrains.
snapdragon1100 7
Actually wearing a thong is the definition of giving yourself a wedgie....
Catkam623 27
Note to self ripping out butt floss makes ass go numb
jem143 4
Spray tan??? How caddie are you.
mosquito19 14
did you have a group of flies on your head?
seandoc 13
What a good influence to your daughter!
KaiserSD 8
This is a fail on three levels: one, for getting a spray tab, yech; two, for using a thong to hold your hair in place; and three, for failing to realize when you "threw your clothes" back on that your underwear were mysteriously missing... Wait, no panties is actually a win. Forget that last...