Today, I was getting a spray tan and realized I didn't have a hair tie, so I used a thong instead. I lost track of time and realized I needed to go pick up my daughter. I threw on my clothes, drove to pick her up, went to the store, and went for ice cream... thong still in my hair. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at a water park with my family. They wanted me to stand underneath this big bucket filled with water. I didn't know it tips over, and my swimsuit isn't the tightest, so when all the water fell down, my swimsuit bottoms fell to my knees in front of tons of kids. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job Mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML
Today, I was sitting on the toilet, pregnant as ever, and really sick. I asked my fiancé to bring me a pair of clean underwear. He did so and brought me some lacy underwear. They weren't mine. FML
Today, I rode my bike to work. Once there, I realized I'd forgotten my bike lock. For fear of it being stolen, I quickly rode home and took my car instead. When I later got home, I realized my bike was missing. Someone stole it from my backyard. FML
Today, I was walking back home from a party, when I received an email from our neighborhood watch. It said to beware, because a "thug-like" stranger with a white shirt and brown hair had entered the neighborhood. My hair is indeed brown and I was wearing a white shirt. FML
Today, I accidentally set my hair on fire while lighting a cigarette. I panicked and put it out by slapping myself in the face. FML
Today, anticipating another stressful day of work, I left my house with a cluster of thoughts in my mind. It was only when I heard my front door lock behind me, my hand still resting on the handle, that I realised I had forgotten my house keys. FML
Today, I accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to take my bra off. FML
Today, I was at work laminating a large photo. While I was doing this, I had a sudden itch on my nut sack. So I quickly scratched it away. When the customer came to pick up the print, I noticed that one of my pubic hairs had laminated itself on the cheek of the woman in the photograph. FML
Today, I had been sick all day, so to cheer me up my dad drove me to get ice cream. On our way back, we hit a puppy. FML
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Top comments
Nordah 15
You lost me at "spray tan".
DocBastard 40
If I had a nickel for every time I left my underwear in my hair...
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Comments (120)
EsOSiQueEs 14
I hope that store you went to was Wal Mart, because I look forward to seeing you on the peopleofwalmart website. (:
areyouserial 5
You had a thong, but you didn't have a hair tie....I'll try not to judge.
Iknowsomestuff 9
And you completely forgot you were wearing a scrunchie as a garter?
dannondarko 12
why all the referencing to previous FML's lately?
thentaniasaid 20
So you didn't notice that you didn't have any underwear on when you left?
bored1091 4
Haha awesome
mistercrow 9
Rolling in Doritos is a cheaper solution and men love the smell of Doritos too ;)
marxistbkly 3
Models eat ice cream?
myklknife 6
Tanning is tacky.
SailorSTFU 15
Who puts their underwear in their hair? Seriously?