Today, I was getting a spray tan and realized I didn't have a hair tie, so I used a thong instead. I lost track of time and realized I needed to go pick up my daughter. I threw on my clothes, drove to pick her up, went to the store, and went for ice cream... thong still in my hair. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at a water park with my family. They wanted me to stand underneath this big bucket filled with water. I didn't know it tips over, and my swimsuit isn't the tightest, so when all the water fell down, my swimsuit bottoms fell to my knees in front of tons of kids. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job Mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML
Today, I was sitting on the toilet, pregnant as ever, and really sick. I asked my fiancé to bring me a pair of clean underwear. He did so and brought me some lacy underwear. They weren't mine. FML
Today, I rode my bike to work. Once there, I realized I'd forgotten my bike lock. For fear of it being stolen, I quickly rode home and took my car instead. When I later got home, I realized my bike was missing. Someone stole it from my backyard. FML
Today, I was walking back home from a party, when I received an email from our neighborhood watch. It said to beware, because a "thug-like" stranger with a white shirt and brown hair had entered the neighborhood. My hair is indeed brown and I was wearing a white shirt. FML
Today, I accidentally set my hair on fire while lighting a cigarette. I panicked and put it out by slapping myself in the face. FML
Today, anticipating another stressful day of work, I left my house with a cluster of thoughts in my mind. It was only when I heard my front door lock behind me, my hand still resting on the handle, that I realised I had forgotten my house keys. FML
Today, I accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to take my bra off. FML
Today, I was at work laminating a large photo. While I was doing this, I had a sudden itch on my nut sack. So I quickly scratched it away. When the customer came to pick up the print, I noticed that one of my pubic hairs had laminated itself on the cheek of the woman in the photograph. FML
Today, I had been sick all day, so to cheer me up my dad drove me to get ice cream. On our way back, we hit a puppy. FML
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Top comments
Nordah 15
You lost me at "spray tan".
DocBastard 40
If I had a nickel for every time I left my underwear in my hair...
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Comments (120)
capnbzarr 43
Stay classy, Orangina.
Thatscori 0
Well that's not really an FML. But cool?
DanielleinDC 34
You didn't notice your underwear was missing when you went to put your clothes back on? You should be grateful it wasn't a pair of hi-cut briefs.
Zingers 9
people, spray tan /=/ orange. sometimes, yes. always? nope. stop being incredibly judgemental, you're just making yourselves look dumb. but OP: you had a thong handy but not a hair tie?? YDI
BronayPonay 6
Why the **** do you guys care if she got a spray tan or not? Some people look great with a spray tan. People are just so ******* judgemental.
alfakennybody 10
That fml made my day.
shan88 14
Why?
squid93 9
So now we know you were going commando! I would have loved to have seen that!
ShananaginsLOL 13
Soo u carry around thongs but not hair ties.... Weirdo.....
tararochelle 18
It's hard to handle being pale in these winter months. And a spray tan is better than tanning... Getting chunks of skin dug out because they are full of cancer? Less attractive. If u go once ur not an Oompa Loompa, it smells like crap though. I'm a massage therapist, I know from massaging women who have had it not personal experience. But us girls?? We have a lot of pressure to be pretty.. And tan is usually in that package. Don't hate.
TaysDarkLust 11
There are plenty of people who will dye for pale skin, and spray tanning is just NASTY.
usmcwifey90 7
I think pale skin is so much prettier than fake tans. Orange is ugly.
LHowe10 2
So you got dressed and didn't stop to think that you had no underwear on? Lol