By Pandamomma - 21/07/2014 12:58 - United States - Dunn

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML
I agree, your life sucks 57 085
You deserved it 7 245

Pandamomma tells us more.

hi. OP here. I said FML because I ended up having to apologize and act as if I was sincere. I failed miserably and ended up laughing hysterically. I did feel a little bad.

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Since when is it a crime to carry a four month old?!

Your kid is awesome

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Since when is it a crime to carry a four month old?!

Since Obama became the president.

At first I thought I read it wrong and it was a 4 year old, which would've made the projectile vomiting on command even cooler. But it's a 4 month old; and an awesome one at that.

gjikvtj 18

4 month old chose vomit attack

I agree with #1 theres no reason to say that it's bad to carry your four month son around. and the projectile vomiting? OP should just be glad the he does it on people that annoy OP, and not OP.

It was highly effective

Four months old should be carried.. I won't get deep in to the logistics of it, but human babies are only born after 9 months because they'd otherwise be too big to give birth to. We're technically all just a "fetus" outside the womb for about a year after we're actually born.

It's one of the troubles of the modern age. We judge and are judged for everything

What else is the baby meant to do though, if not carried - just roll everywhere?

I can't even vote on this because there isn't a "Sucks to be them" option. Maybe there's a lesson to be learned here about parenting other people's children...

I think that just comes under "stuff the older generation says". Like telling you that bread crust curls your hair

Super effective!

Sounds like a "tick" superhero. The vomitinator! Looks like an innocent baby but is actually a diabolical puking machine.

REALAfroninga 11

I got a better one. I know it takes a village to raise a child, but can we at least pick a smart village? They really want a four month old to try walking around all the time? They aren't used to walking yet!

People think they should be in a pram, usually facing away from the parent. Can't give them too much love, they'll be sissys (or something). Not like carrying your child could be the natural way! Basically, it's the group of people who think a baby is manipulating/controlling the parents when it cries etc, not, you know, being a baby and doing what they're meant to when they need something, including comfort. Sometimes, Western society is seriously screwed up.

not sure where youre from #234 but youre right. i live in the US and am still confused by the stuff that happens here.

Correction: It was super effective!

I bet she minds her own business next time.

meant to hit like...

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cryssycakesx3 22

even worse, 43.

i apologize for my comment

justawallflower 27

But he is 4 months old…

nattlecakes 19

I say it was a win on her part. The old bitch got what she put out there. Nothing but bitterness.

Your kid is awesome

Baby:1 Old people: 0

Thats a winning baby!

Grandma deserved it

This shouldn't even be an FML. This is an epic win.

He is learning how to deal with people early.

That baby is a deliverer of justice!

this reminds me of the story about my sister who shat and pissed on her ignoramus, asshole delivery doc after he said that she would be retarded (due to the fact that she came out ass first...instead of crowning, she was mooning) P.S she's an honor student now

Respect101 17

#97, if his vomit is Justice, I think less people would want Justice..

How to deal with an asshole: Puke on them and laugh.

jthmtwin 16

Can be very dangerous to leave the womb that way, can cause development issues, but grats on a honor student! :)

This FML should have an additional button: "They deserved it"

atiggerx33 6

Was he kidding, like your kid is "ass backwards" because that would have been a clever pun in the right company. There is always a risk that could happen since they can't breath while coming out ass first that they may not get enough oxygen to the brain, and end up with mental deficiency because of it. That being said doctor's tend to over exaggerate things because if they don't tell you that, you can sue them for malpractice, so they have to cover their asses by telling parents that kind of stuff. They also see so much terrible shit, that they tend to be overly bleak, if anything to spare the parents, if you were told there is only a 10% chance something bad happened, you would think you were most likely going to be fine (which you would be), and incredibly disappointed when it did possibly go bad. If you are told the kid has problems, you will be thrilled when the kid doesn't. The doctor would rather, in most cases, not get the family's hopes up, which in a way I can understand, it makes it less devastating that way. However, they should just give the statistics and fully explain it better, I also understand they don't really have all this time for the talky-talky at a hospital when they could be saving lives.

I want to meet him in about 30 years.

Why fuck your life? Thats some funny shit :P

People need to keep their opinions to themselves. And your baby is fantastic with his timing!

This is amazing, why is this an FML? Lol I would be in a such a good mood for the rest of the day if that happened