Stop
Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year-old daughter texted me from her room, "Stop." FML
Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year-old daughter texted me from her room, "Stop." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I received a text from a man my wife had an affair with, in which he stated that my 18 year-old daughter is biologically his. He then sent me pictures of her that my wife had sent to him. FML
Today, I told my 13 year-old daughter that she was grounded from using her phone. Later on, I get an important call regarding a job that I have been after. After I'd picked up the phone, my daughter starts screaming, "HELP! RAPE! HELP!" on the other phone. I don't think I'll be getting the job. FML
Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl. She was really into it and not holding back on the noise...That is, until I received a text message from my little sister next door reading "If she is making that much noise, she is probably faking it...Trust me, I know." FML
Today, I was feeling really horny. I decided to send dirty texts to my girlfriend. I sent the first and she didn't reply, so I sent more and more and then I got one back saying 'Stay away from my little girl.' FML
Today, I caught my 20 year old daughter having sex with my best friend's husband. Apparently it's my fault for coming home early. FML
Today, my 15-year-old birth daughter asked if I've ever had sex. FML
Today, I had my girlfriend over after my wife went to work. She looked so sexy in her outfit, I couldn’t resist. I ripped her clothes off and began to do her on my couch… until I heard my daughter’s voice asking, “Dad, who’s that?” Apparently, she was home sick from school. FML
Today, I was having passionate sex with my girlfriend of nine months. She was making a lot of noise, so I told her to keep it down, and reminded her that my parents and sister downstairs. A few minutes later, I got a text from my sister, saying my parents wanted to make sure I was wearing a condom. FML
Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML
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Top comments
MissFae 0
Why are you checking texts in the middle of sex? We're gonna see your wife posting here next...
Edmund_Dantes 0
"in a minute!"
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Comments (219)
scb197 0
so i'm thinking about half of the people who posted are puritanical dicks and the rest understand life. let's hope the latter population is the one to procreate.
h_e_l_e_n 0
you stopped having sex to read a text? haha
blueEyes_19 0
hahahahahaha BOSS
Samboni 0
The guy is married and has a 14 year old daughter. He probably doesn't get to have sex as much as he wants. He and his wife shouldn't have to tiptoe around their daughter to be intimate IN THEIR OWN HOUSE. I would have taken a picture w/ my phone and messaged it to her.
HoodieGirl23 0
I hope my parents never had sex when i was home when I was a teenager.. that's totally mortifying...
karmaking 0
pics or it didnt happen
My_Little_Pony 0
Depending what state you are in, you should of asked her to join you.
secret_fml 0
# 51: ewwwww and why are you checking your text messages during sex? lol
liveitlearnit 0
@48 and others. The OP is disgusting. A fourteen year old girl is way too young to be exposed to sex in her home. That's a young teen. I don't care how many of you post and say 'I was sexually active at that age.' You shouldn't have been. I was wearing overalls at 14, and now am a perfectly normal, run-of-the-mill, sexually active college student. I'm not saying that 'old people shouldn't have sex' or that he doesn't have the right to do so in his home... but it's her home too. That young teen has every right to sit in her room and not listen to her parents (or father and his wife) having sex... it's a sad world when people don't realize that. Where has innocence gone?
dwights 0
# 4 and 5 made my day. so funny