By cockblocked - 11/05/2012 18:29 - United States - Goose Creek

Today, I asked my dad if my girlfriend could sleep over. He winked at me and agreed. When I brought her home, we went to my room for a quickie. There, I saw that my dad had taped multiple Richard Simmons posters to the wall, causing my girlfriend to suddenly come down with a "headache." FML
I agree, your life sucks 14 881
You deserved it 23 900

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Cockblocked by Richard Simmons.

Troll dad always wins! Unless put against Troll mom.


Cockblocked by Richard Simmons.

nofearjenshere 12

Richard Simmons wants that cock all to himself. ;)

Haha troll dad strikes again. Dude just tell her your in to exercising and you will give her the ride of her life.

#23 What kind of douchebag and stupid pick up line is that?

Not a pick up line dumb ass, that's what he could of told her after she saw the Richard Simmons poster.

"Tell her YOUR in"? "Could OF told"? Seriously? I doubt she'd want to fuck someone who sounds like he flunked remedial English.

Well it technically isn't a pick up line but yet it is still a statement full of douchbaggyness (yeah stupid word, I know) and pretty stupid. It's basically saying "Well let me say how good I am in bed and get you to have sex with me!"

Douchbaggyness is a pretty cool word...I might start using it...

Sorry, I already had it trademarked. You need to pay me 5 cents every time you use it.

KiddNYC1O 20

I was raped here once for using the word "douchebagish".

maxmex13 7

44 - whoever came up with that trademark stuff is full of douchbaggyness :)


Headaches are a bad excuse for not having sex. Women orgasms secrete a painkilling hormone that will get rid of that headache. Little FF, for y'all.

dominic1221 6

Yeah and few women can actually consistently attain orgasm, even when they leave the pleasuring to someone who knows what they're doing, ie themselves. Little FF for ya, junior.

Did anyone else think Gene Simmons?

Use Douchenozzle, sounds better.

This fml is so freaking wierd.

digitaljunky 5

Yeah.. All that neon spandex would give anyone a headache!

105- that's if the man gives the woman orgasm-worthy sex!

yaya1213 6

It's not a pick up line if he already has her

MerrikBarbarian 9

105- try having sex before you offer advise about it. Sex can help a migraine yes, if the woman orgasms. It does shit all for a sinus head ache and makes a tension head ache worse. Also I dunno about you, but the last thing I want to do is have sex when I feel like I'm gonna hurl from pain

tjv3 10

I think I like your dad.

why is everybody so obsessed with proper grammar on this site?

jackal181 7

BOOM! Roasted

Roast? Where's seth macfarland? And who's getting roasted? Is it Charlie sheen again?

Is that a Jenna marbles quote ?!

It's from that show the office

b0ngs 7

Really? Umm? Thats all you can think of?

Ummmm......... yes!

thank you all for contributing to this fml. you can go home now.

jackii1313 9

Your dad sure has a sense of humor! Haha

Nightwing98 22

This is the funniest FML I've read in a long time!

No, his dad just couldn't find room to put up the posters in his own bedroom.

nofearjenshere 12


DobiesJS2012 9


Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Boool (Yes, bool is actually a word)

luckyd880 12

Well this is just getting out of hand.....

simcop2387 10

Where did he get the posters to begin with?

Riiight!! He must have been saving em

amandajlucas2015 2

Or he went n bought them at the store???

luckyd880 12

Not everyone has Richard Simmons posters lying around?..

Someone must have done the same thing to him haha

Troll dad always wins! Unless put against Troll mom.

Trolling woman? Oh god. we are fucked.

You can't be cockblocked by Richard Simmons, he loves the cock.

I could use some Richard Simmons posters

Ha ha ha!!! YDI!!