dad
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Stop
Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year-old daughter texted me from her room, "Stop." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
ed5509
Chesapeake, United States
Revelations
Today, I received a text from a man my wife had an affair with, in which he stated that my 18 year-old daughter is biologically his. He then sent me pictures of her that my wife had sent to him. FML
MGZ
United States
Today, I told my 13 year-old daughter that she was grounded from using her phone. Later on, I get an important call regarding a job that I have been after. After I'd picked up the phone, my daughter starts screaming, "HELP! RAPE! HELP!" on the other phone. I don't think I'll be getting the job. FML
Noname
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML
OhFseriously123
Italy 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was having sex with a girl. She was really into it and not holding back on the noise...That is, until I received a text message from my little sister next door reading "If she is making that much noise, she is probably faking it...Trust me, I know." FML
Oops54321
France 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was feeling really horny. I decided to send dirty texts to my girlfriend. I sent the first and she didn't reply, so I sent more and more and then I got one back saying 'Stay away from my little girl.' FML
angrymother
🌶️ Spicy
Today, I caught my 20 year old daughter having sex with my best friend's husband. Apparently it's my fault for coming home early. FML
Anonymous
Spencer, United States
Today, my 15-year-old birth daughter asked if I've ever had sex. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
All kinds of wrong
Today, I had my girlfriend over after my wife went to work. She looked so sexy in her outfit, I couldn’t resist. I ripped her clothes off and began to do her on my couch… until I heard my daughter’s voice asking, “Dad, who’s that?” Apparently, she was home sick from school. FML
awskme
France 🌶️ Spicy
Disrespectful
Today, I was having passionate sex with my girlfriend of nine months. She was making a lot of noise, so I told her to keep it down, and reminded her that my parents and sister downstairs. A few minutes later, I got a text from my sister, saying my parents wanted to make sure I was wearing a condom. FML
aprouddaddy
Paris, France
Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML
Top comments
MissFae 0
Why are you checking texts in the middle of sex? We're gonna see your wife posting here next...
Edmund_Dantes 0
"in a minute!"
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Comments (219)
ajscott 0
She was referring to the, "Whose your daddy?" screams not the sex. Hopefully your insurance will cover the therapy sessions.
KingAwesome 0
This story is funnier if you swap the positions of the wife and the daughter.
undead_fml 0
lol @ #11
RenoEnvy 0
To #8- its called common courtesy. Parents should wait till they're alone to do that. It really scars children. Its not about 'minding their own business.' Because she also has the right to be in her own home, and not hear her parents going at it. Its a respect factor. So next time, try keeping it in your pants till your child goes out, or is at school. =)
Eorlas 31
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Im assuming the 14 year old does not own the deed to the house therefore she has the right to nothing.
Oley 27
100% agreed! When the kids start paying bills....Then they should sit down and have a talk
midnightm16 24
You've gotta be ******* kidding me. "You don't pay the bills so you can just listen to us have sex." yea you two are idiots.
Eskiimo_fml 0
Probably not scarred the child but maybe disturbed them in a way that they cannot look at their parents the same way ever again... EVER!
karagarren 8
I've walked in on mine having sex by accident. didn't bother me at all. they should be able to have sex when they want. kids can go outside or turn up the music. at a certain age kids should be mature enough to know that yes.. parents also have sex. get the **** over it
bandaidstations 28
I doubt that age is during the middle school years
holynemesis1208 3
why are you answering your phone wil having sex? looking for an excuse to end early?
Puolukka 4
Um...he never said that he checked the textmessage WHILE he was having sex...he could have read it afterwards,...it's not like it's disappearing if you don't read it right away...plus textmessages say what time they were sent so he could have easily done the math and figured out that it was sent during sex...even if his phone was silent and he didn't even hear the textmessage... But yea dude, that SUCKS...next time wait till your daughter is not home or be more quiet ;)
Elisabetha Aarron 18
That is how the FML read a though. For all we know they did check during. We won't know for sure unless there is an update
King_of_Kings 3
just sit down with your daughter and have one of those "talks"
LMFAOsabrina 0
Keep it in your pants until your daughter is out of the house xD
Failercoptor 0
i like the way you think #15